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September - December 2000 Archive
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It is so good to read your words Archy Hyde. It moved me like watching 'Its a Wonderful Life'. Sorry got to go testing......
David Bardwell-Dix <Groove on groove factor 12!>
On the dance floor, givin it large - Friday, December 29, 2000 at 00:21:15 (PST)

Horay! At last the great man has spoken! Happy new year to all on this site, may it bring the breast to all of you...sorry, I meant best. Well, come to think of it...
Mr V Happy, aka The Very Rev Jamesling <e.mail@address>
Still hidden under the milky twilight, trying to find my way out - Thursday, December 28, 2000 at 08:11:48 (PST)

About time! Merry Christmas folks :o) Lets hope it's a jolly 2001
Woody <somebody@somewhere.com>
Warwickshire - Tuesday, December 26, 2000 at 05:36:53 (PST)

You're all quite right - it is about time I said something! Season's Greetings everybody! I've been hard at it all December, (so to speak), so my Christmas cards will be a bit late this year - I'm planning on writing them on Boxing Day, if that's OK......sorry to all who were expecting me to have got my act together a little sooner! Two things - this website was a complete surprise for me, and I must say a massive thank you to those people who were responsible for it. Blushes are an understatement, and by the way, I am not worthy! But thank you! And thank you to everybody who keeps me amused by posting messages here - it's amazing that so many people come here to share witty banter, so long may it continue! And to everyone who's said nice things about me here - thank you also! Happy Christmas, everybody - and I hope everybody has a brilliant 2001.
Alan Hyde
Kent - Saturday, December 23, 2000 at 09:30:33 (PST)

Greetings one and all! Mr Hyde where is your voice? The Reverend James is right. Bring back the luminous tones, or at lease type something. The flock awaits! Joy and peace to you all especially Ms A Stretters! Seasons Greetings, Joy to the World. Hope Santa brings you what you want. A new set of bass bins perhaps?
David Bardwell-Dix
Lying under a Pinto at 4 in the morning - Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 08:40:09 (PST)

The phrase "ladies scarf" is a little bit risque, isn't it? Or rusks? Do you remember those biscuits with little bits of real fruit in them? I do, fondly. I had that there bloke off the telly in the back of me cab last week. You know the one, kind off tall, lanky, short man, with a lispy sort of squint in his eye-hole. Generic rent-a-villain type, always crops up in episodes of The Bill on UK Gold. "Always believing! You-are-Gold! Always belie-e-ving!"
Scratch and Sniff <dot.cotton.dot.com>
Making movies, on location - Monday, December 18, 2000 at 04:33:35 (PST)

I would like to register my disappointment at Mr Alan 'lager' Hyde at his non-appearance on this message board. Your flock will go astray, Archy, and we need a sermon to make sure we don't stray from the path of righteousness and perving. It is Christmas, and it has been soooo long since your flock of motor racing people have heard your dulcit tones..don't you think you owe it to them to post a little message, me old Chocolate Garibaldi-munching mucker (thanks to bid for that one)... I would like to tell Samantha that I agree, having Alan (and Emma and her boots) in our lives does make me feel lucky. I simply want him to share the joy around by posting a message. It is Christmas...
The Rev Jamseling <e.mail@inter-net>
Somewhere, under the rainbow, way up high - Monday, December 18, 2000 at 04:30:45 (PST)

Let us focus and why not pray for the lernid Archbishop Hyde as temptation is ripping him from his highly formidable work! This demon I speak of is none other than a really nice pair of boots and the tasty contents. Oh, music will be changing back to Wednesday nights, WOOO-HOOO, in Jan 01 at HOTS so groove on groove factor 9! No need for answerphone samples, hear it live n direct!
That bloke over there. <Tick@T.Boo>
Sorry misread the bar, Lactation? - Wednesday, December 13, 2000 at 09:55:10 (PST)

I have to correct thy 'holy water'. The tune's right, but I think you'll find it was not Jo Boxers, rather Jo Guest wearing a ladies' scarf.
Zippy Monkeybuns <access denied>
Carol Decker's gaff - Wednesday, December 13, 2000 at 05:08:17 (PST)

Well, whoever all you Alan Hyde fans out there are, you won't top this. Alan is my one year old daughter's God-father, and he is lovely. We are priveliged to have him in our lives.
Samantha <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, December 08, 2000 at 07:53:32 (PST)

Three naked men, lager, Emma and a mobile disco..come on, Hyde, explain all before the rumours start
The very reverend jamesling <Dot.dot@dash-dash>
Under the milky twilight - Monday, December 04, 2000 at 07:34:41 (PST)

We need comments from the great man himself...come on, Hyde, lager, archbishop, don't be shy
The Very Reverend Matt Jamesling <Dot.dot@wohoo.arse>
In the pub, voting for the skirt - Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 06:45:31 (PST)

RUBBISH! Matt old chap it went, Der-Der D-Derrr Der-Der-D#-Dee and then the plane with Jo Boxers came by (whilst 'doin the boxer beat) with that cunning usuage of toilet paper shaped as the World of Sport logo. This was later found to be whitewashed (shocked sounds from a stunned grandstand) toilet paper as Dickie Davis had obviously had a closer look and got that little sprout of forward facing hair doused in its Macleans whiteness. Let that be a warning to everyone! Good to see ya last night nigel, with nigel and nigel oh and the bever. Hustings!
The Holy Waters <Hustings@tickerty.boo>
Royal Tunbridge Wells - Thursday, November 16, 2000 at 08:15:58 (PST)

Dear Reverend James. World of Sport theme tune. How did it go again? Please help.
Zippy Monkeybuns <zippy.zippy@zippyzippy.com>
paula abdul's arse - Wednesday, November 15, 2000 at 04:47:38 (PST)

R-hu-bb-iiish.
Mark EE Mark <booze@pub.now>
Pub - Tuesday, November 14, 2000 at 13:24:50 (PST)

anyone for a game of chuckie egg?
Zippy Monkeybuns <access denied>
Puff daddy's arse - Tuesday, November 14, 2000 at 06:07:07 (PST)

Dear Mr James, I think there is more than enough lager to go round. Yours in the sport, Pastie
Pastie <somebody@somewhere.com>
Right here, right where - Friday, November 10, 2000 at 09:11:58 (PST)

Dear Matt Burt, The sight of Lager in a thong is a sight reserved only for his holy bretherin. The Emling and Myself are among the chosen few, so keep your fantasies to yourself! Anyway, it is not Maryland Cookies, I've told you before! All the best, the Reverend James
The Reverend James <matt.james@haynet.com>
A darkened room - Wednesday, November 08, 2000 at 08:45:54 (PST)

Mr Lager Nobiscuits, Now that fellow Addison has contested his first ever motor race, is there any chance that you will be taking to the 'other side' of the tracks? I would be interested to know what your many fans would like to see you in (apart from a moist thong, clutching a bottle of baby oil and a packet of Maryland Cookies). Jus' wondering
Pastie <somebody@somewhere.com>
Brrp Bip Dew FC United Town - Monday, November 06, 2000 at 11:20:38 (PST)

Dear Archbishop Allington, Peace be with you my child. May the blessings of a thousand saints be with you now and forever more. Amen. Love and blessings to Semling. The Very Reverend James.
The Reverend James <matt.james@haynet>
A pub in the South of England - Wednesday, November 01, 2000 at 06:13:41 (PST)

Keep up the good work - we look forward to seeing you and hearing you next year
Sue and Pete Austin <Sue.Austin@BTInternet.com>
Rugby, Warwickshire - Friday, October 20, 2000 at 13:53:13 (PDT)

It's all your fault Alan. They tried to cut off my hair into the same shape as yours and now I can't go outside. Apparently, Al, my head isn't shaped like yours. Still, it's better than that washed-up hack Matt James'. Matt, why don't you take that packet of biscuits and shove it right up your arse. Sideways. That might make you open your eyes a bit more when writing about horse racing.
Steven Strange <steve@strange.com>
... in space ... - Friday, October 13, 2000 at 07:34:03 (PDT)

Dear Mr Burt, With referece to your biscuit enquiry about Mr Lager. I do believe I have seen Lager munching merrily on a "boring biscuit base spiced up with a sugar-glazed top" Nice sytle treat. Or I might have been mistaken. Biscuits in themselves do not encapsulate the man. I prefer to think of Lager as a bacon sandwich and a hot cup of coffee-type snack, rather than merely a slab of biscuit. I would appreciate your views on this. Matt James
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In the biscuit section of Sainsburys - Friday, October 06, 2000 at 08:46:55 (PDT)

Dear Mr Burt, With referece to your biscuit enquiry about Mr Lager. I do beleive I have seen Lager munching merrily on a "boring biscuit base spiced up with a sugar-glazed top" Nice sytle treat. Or I might have been mistaken. Biscuits in themselves do not encapsulate the man. I prefer to think of Lager as a bacon sandwich and a hot cup of coffee-type snack, rather than merely a slab of biscuit. I would appreciate your views on this. Matt James
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In the biscuit section of Sainsburys - Friday, October 06, 2000 at 08:46:51 (PDT)

I think Alan is just a lovely lagering chap. But where does he buy his biscuits? Does anyone know what sort? I had him down as a Rich Tea kind of guy, but having heard his dulcet tones at Donners recently, I am now of the opinion that he is worships the Hob Nob. Do Jammy Dodgers get a look in in the 'Lager' larder?
Matty "Cornish Nasty" Burt <matt.burt@haynet.com>
West Side, Hedge Row, Down Market, - Friday, October 06, 2000 at 08:33:27 (PDT)

Zippy Monkeybuns! Is that really you? At last i have found you again. Where have you been for so long?? I didnt want you to walk out like that, it was just a missunderstanding. Please reply....... Ooooh a a a a Aaaaaaaaah
Mary Chimpbaps
Cape Cod - Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 01:56:23 (PDT)

Dear alan, I have been waiting for a site like this dedicated to my favourite male. It is the answer to my prayers. Somewhere I can download all the pictures of my most favourite man in the world and gaze lovingly at them. I hope you are an pleased with this site as I. Love and lingering kisses. An Admirer
A gorgeous female <somebody@somewhere.com>
enslaved in passion for Alan Hyde - Monday, October 02, 2000 at 13:03:12 (PDT)

Al, top marks on the website. It is really fantastic that you are spreading the word of your great talent. I remember calming you down on an island in the cold irish sea. If you require me to check over the Alan Hyde, In His Own Words screenplay again just drop me a line. Regards Chippy.
Chippy Hayes <chippy@chippyhayes.com>
Not far enough away from reality - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 05:16:41 (PDT)

Al!!! What a MEGA website! Obviously it's fair to say that you wouldn't have got where you are today had I not helped you out massively back in 1998 at all of those Touring Car meetings (I think the real high-point was sorting out the bacon sandwiches with Hindhaugh and Emma at 6am in Oulton or somewhere equally as ghastly...) Glad to see that my hard work and constant advice did not go unrewarded - I am proud to be an integral part of your success. By the way, will the Alan Hyde Doll(TM) be out in time for Christmas? Love Kate xx
Kate Taylor
A very posh velvet throne at Taylor Towers - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 10:10:24 (PDT)

Where can I meat this man?
Zippy Monkeybuns
Uganda - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 08:35:04 (PDT)

Alan It's only fair that a man that finished third in the 1997 Bryan Adams lookalike contest during Great Yarmouth's Summer Season should have such a spanking gorgeous website dedicated to them. I can only dream of the Alan Hyde nightclub tour, when will it happen? Please tell me it's going to happen! You know that the ladies will be falling at your wildman feet and watching in awe at your footloose and facy free dance manoeuvres. Keep it up Alan, you're CRA-ZEE!
Nick Hall <Nick@f1i.com>
England - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 05:44:50 (PDT)

Alan Hyde. Watta guy. Watta man. Mopping spilt coffee from his commentator's notes was a pleasure. Although, physically, it was Alan who knocked the cup, it was still my fault. Had I not been in his box at Oulton he would not have been distracted. I can only beg his Lord and Master's forgiveness.
Joe Gillis <unknown>
A small island 200 miles off the coast of Japan - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 03:38:37 (PDT)

As a close friend of Alan I would say this is an excellent web site dedicated to a true hunk and a real professional. Thank you for producing it. Please can we have one for my husband Tony Coales who is also a commentator, but obviously not in the same sex-god stakes as Alan!!
Mrs Coales <sandra.coales@virginnet.co.uk>
near Brands Hatch - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 13:13:29 (PDT)

Why no mention of Alan's equestrian activities? What about the Vodafone Derby...Blenheim...Badminton?
The Producer <steve@stpp.source.co.uk>
London - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 03:10:44 (PDT)

...NO Wait! I'm having a lager! Hustings old boy. (vote for the skirt)
Stephen Waters of the BBC TW <somebody@somewhere.com>
Glorious Tunbridge Wells - Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 01:33:14 (PDT)

From one of the Alan Hyde models. It was a pleasure to 'model' the launch of your fanzone website. I hope I can continue to advertise updates in the future ;-)
Lorna <brown.eyes@ten-tenths.com>
Bucks - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 15:47:40 (PDT)

Don't blame me, it was all Tracey's idea :)
Nigel (Redshoes) <nigel@redshoes.demon.co.uk>
- Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 15:46:09 (PDT)

Lager, Good to see your talents have been recognised at last. I'm mostly looking forward to the 24-hour webcam you have in the pipeline so we can keep up to date with all your comings and goings in the high-octane world of motorsport commentating and mobile discos. Peace, love, Staines, Jarv
Jarvis <charles.bradley@haynet.com>
In the MN office @ Teddington - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 07:37:30 (PDT)

Alan (Lager), As director general of the BBC - of which you of course are a member - I would like to express my delight that your talents have finally been recognised in such an outstanding fashion. The BBC Directors also hope you enjoy this wonderful tribute and hope you manage to pull many more birds off the back of it... All the best DG
Matt James, Director General, BBC <matt.james@haynet.com>
In a pub in Tunbridge Wells - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 05:58:45 (PDT)

I Love You Al
Bob Boote <Bob@arbaudio.co.uk>
Banbury - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 03:27:46 (PDT)

Alan, Hope you enjoy the site and it was worth all the hard work from Pete and Nigel. Can't wait to see your face on Saturday. Keep up the hard work, looking forward to next year already! Hugs and Stuff Tracey :op :ox
Tracey <tracy.harwood@ntlworld.com>
Warwick, Warwickshire UK. - Monday, September 18, 2000 at 14:56:25 (PDT)

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