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July
2001 - December 2001 Archive
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Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 14:46:47
(PST)
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of the much loved
and valued contributors to this great institution, that is the
Guestbook Massive.
Sorry this message is late - I forgot!
Vote for the skirt. Lager Lager Lager.
Alan Hyde <alan@studio22.co.uk>
At home! - Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 04:25:02 (PST)
Please don't make us wait till after the Queens speach!
The Radical advert in MN. Word Police! You can't print that.
Something should be done. Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.
David Bardwell-Dix
Listening to Pink Floyd and Dave Mathews Band - Monday, December
24, 2001 at 10:28:11 (PST)
Ladies and Gentlemen (in a Brian Jones-stylee),
Well, the Rev has returned to wish you all some festive cheer
and reflect upon a monumental year.
We have had some bad things, but they are more than overshadowed
by the good. Now is a time to rejoice in happiness and friendship.
Happy Christmas everyone. What do you say people, is it a time
for Lager to give his annual address or what?
Rev MJ
The Rev James <Fish@hatstand.co.uk>
In the church steeple, ringing the bells for all they are worth
(£2,50) - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 08:45:39 (PST)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 11:45:24
(PST)
I've just got back from my company's do, can anyone beat
a bar tab of £235.60 for 4 people? and can you tell me where
the hell my paracetamol are?
Rev Hyde, I believe, I truly believe all booze is Satan's own
effluent!
David Bardwell-Dix <recovering@home>
Bright light....... - Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 12:09:03
(PST)
Change of name for me then, such a long time since the last
post. Lager, I am voting for the skirt!! Sporting Club Monte
Carlo, loads of dancers everywhere!! weather is a cool 12c,
whats england like?? gloat gloat. Merry Xmas All.
css-stellaist <sportingclub@montecarlo>
enjoying a little gig at the sporting club, monte carlo. - Saturday,
December 22, 2001 at 10:23:20 (PST)
Yep, a Merry Christmass to you all! I hope you have a fantastic
time and enjoy all the great films on over Xmas (you can take
the student away from the university, but you can't take the
media studies out of the student!)
Mr Barwell Dix - your place sounds fantastic over Christmas.
If I weren't going home I'd join you in a kebab, sir!
Lizzie Luvvie <xmas@play.com>
- Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 13:07:07 (PST)
Nice one Mr James, up the Zigarat! and the GillS!! Come on
you Wednesday supporters if you think your hard enough.
Merry Chrissy you wonderfull people. Merry Christmas you old
Building and Loan.....
I'm doing nothing for Christmas so if your at all board of turkey,
my place will be a turkey free zone, except for a kebab, maybe.
Totie, mmmmmmmm,Y**^*R(T^FP P_U*^$£&$(.
Sorry my keyboard has just shorted out with my drool for Ms
Butler-Henderson and Buffy.
David Bardwell-Dix <Blah@blah.com>
kissin the ole Blahney Stone - Wednesday, December 19, 2001
at 14:50:45 (PST)
Ridiculous Times to be Posting on Guestbooks 1 : 05:15am
Anna - that has to be quite possibly the most disgusting ways
of putting something so beautiful down in words...err, well
done! :s
Matt: Lactation? Clean up after yourself. That's all I'm saying.
:p
Lizzie Luvvie <sleepyforces@work.com>
American History Land - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 21:01:46
(PST)
And Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire last night. Great soundtrack
too.
Anna Shacklady
over the bog having had a bad sushi experience - Tuesday, December
18, 2001 at 04:26:52 (PST)
Anna, sweetie, you're watching too much TV, love.....
Lager
- Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 03:11:43 (PST)
That fit piece of meat off Sex and the City - the youngest
one out of the four. F**k me. It must be like eating sushi off
a barber shop's floor. with a nice slice of meat and gravy pie
to follow.
Anna Shacklady
off to the barber's for "a wash and blow". £10 and worth every
penny, including tip. which reminds me, what did the leper say
to the prossie: keep the tip. - Monday, December 17, 2001 at
04:30:25 (PST)
Here here GAP. Stick up for yourself girl! Don't let nasty
Kat get one over on you (unless that is what you'd like in future)...
As for myself and Ian McKellar, we are very happy with our union,
blessed or not...
I have got a few nominations for the Viz-inspired section called
"The nuts say go but the eyes say no"...
Claire Sweeney
Ally McBeal
Kat from Eastenders
Anna from Hollyoaks (pre-pregnancy, of course)
Any others.....?
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Lactation - Monday, December 17, 2001 at 01:33:07 (PST)
In my own defense I'd just like to point out that if all
the blokes on this page can slather over girlies on said page
with much stronger descriptions than 'yum' then I'm perfectly
within my rights to express my own opinion also. So there Anna.
Ahem, I mean K@...
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
Incensed at such a blatent attempt to repress free speech and
opinion. How rude. - Sunday, December 16, 2001 at 10:02:18 (PST)
I'm not surprised that the last comment caused a Guestbook
coma. We can take issue with each and every statement.
Eastenders - pants? Doesn't even warrant comment.........
Ian McKellar Jnr. Yum? Can we get away from this girlie type
sexism, please. Mattie - you are responsible in a big way for
this - you incite the worship of this man, which is fine, but
this is not the place for comments like "yum" when used in reference
to blokes. "Yum" can of course be used to describe girlies -
as so ably and effictively demonstrated by our own Anna. A wonderful
example to us all.
We can vote for skirt. Of course. Much better. And if girlies
would like express "yum" type comments, could they please keep
the references strictly to members of their own sex.
Thank you.
K@
Not having a great time of it right now............ - Saturday,
December 15, 2001 at 04:14:13 (PST)
I'll take your word for it then Matt. I don't watch Eastenders
anyway. It's pants.
Ian McKellar Jnr. Yum.
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 08:56:27 (PST)
Mr james, nice piece in today's edition sticking up for the
clubmen. Bravo. May Lou Bergonzi come forward and kiss your
pretty face. Up the Gills.
Anna Shacklady
Meat is Murder - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 08:18:37 (PST)
Bummer that you're going to be on your own Matt - go down
the pub and share a pint with a few peeps!!
Travel the globe, eh? Summer looks good for you!
Iain McKellar Jnr's rectum...eww... :s
Lizzie Luvvie
- Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 05:10:51 (PST)
Well, Christmas cheer to one and all
Anna, I am going to be alone this Christmas, sitting in eating
a box of dates and watching Delboy and Rodney. Roll on the new
racing season...
Ref: Eastenders. Beppe brushes his hair forward right from the
back of his head in the style of someone who is going bald...does
that make him attractive. Pat Butcher is the one for me....
PPS: True about Randon. For your information, you can drop the
National from my title of National Racing Editor. I am now licenced
to roam the globe (Rumours I will go to all the ALMS races lodged
firmly in Ian McKellar Jnr's rectum are untrue)
MJ
Matt James <Crisis@midlife>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 02:21:17
(PST)
Re Beppe: I always did like the strong, silent types (much
less hassle than a stroppy bloke with an opinion on everything
;-))
Anna: If I've told you once I've told you twice; self promotion
is no recommendation. 'Nuff said.
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 15:19:07 (PST)
with the festive season upon us, i wish to wish you all a
bloody happy chrissimuss and all that. pray, what will each
of you be doing this yuletide? if luck is on my side, i'll be
stuffing the life out of some old turkey. it truly could be
a white christmas yet. GAP: I've got something particularly
nice to fill your stocking. in fact, there's probably just enough
to go around to fill your friend's as well.
Anna Shacklady
underneath banarama, it ain't what you do it's the way that
you do it - Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 05:38:17 (PST)
Well, if we're talking gender bending, best looking trannie?
Patrick Swayze, natch!
Pssst ... he isn't really ... he's happily married and runs
a stud ranch in his spare time with his beautiful childhood
sweetheart wife. Altogether now .... aaaaaaaaah!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
To Wong Foo, with love Julie Newmar - Monday, December 10, 2001
at 10:13:52 (PST)
There's an awful lot of gender-bending going on round here
by all accounts. It's all very confusing to a young lad from
the North.
Kat - nice eyes, good choice. (It'd be easier to say who isn't
telly totty wouldn't it?)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. - Monday, December 10, 2001
at 07:51:08 (PST)
Rarely am I moved to make comment in this way, but I'm afraid
Beppe takes the biscuit.
Think of all the poor viewers that are hard of hearing. They
still think Beppe is mute. He opens his mouth and nothing comes
out.
Vote for the skirt, for goodness sake. You'd have to travel
a long way to better Kat, if we're talking Eastenders.
Lager
- Monday, December 10, 2001 at 05:56:43 (PST)
Anna, you're a very naughty girl/boy (delete as appropriate)...
I don't share.
Mutterings can still be heard about 'that' incident in the paddock
at Rockingham. The luvvely Danny Watts stoped and waved whereas
a media tartlet who shall remain nameless (it was you Anna)
attempted to mow us down. Sad to say my friend can hold a grudge
so you're chances aint looking good...
Cheers Jules - I was feeling a bit lonely! Martin Kemp? Hmm...Beppe
just edges past in my opinion.
Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie: Anna isn't what (s)he seems dear boy...
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Unravelling the mystery - Monday, December 10, 2001 at 04:00:02
(PST)
Jules, men never stopped GAP voting for male tottiness, it
was Anna.
Now, unless Anna is a transexual, actually named Gary from Swindon,
it was a woman who stopped a woman from nominating a male. Post-feminism
feminist? Possibly. :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Unfairly condemned - Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 15:27:50 (PST)
Strike one for the ladies ... Martin Kemp aka Steve Owen
in EastEnders gets my vote for top telly totty for women.
Shame on you guys for trying to stop the ladies voting for their
faves as well ... didn't realise that this was a page for confirmed
MCPs ...
BTW, thanks for what you did yesterday, Bloke ... you are a
king amongst men xx
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
At the chemist buying copious amounts of Lemsip Max Strength
- Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 00:38:32 (PST)
Subjects, hearty banter! Well done!
I am commanded to furnish you all with my top tele tottie. I
have a leaning towards the outgoing personality and bubbliness
of young Catherine Deeley, but I can assure you I am far more
upright when that gorgeous Channel Four presenter Amanda Stretton
is doing a grid walk in her tight leather trousers and bending
down next to a sexy Dallara F3 three car. Goodness, I need to
pardon myself!
As ever,
K G
King George <monarch@theGlen>
On the throne of justice - Friday, December 07, 2001 at 05:26:22
(PST)
Oh, all right then, I only glazed my knuckle but it was still
pretty exciting ...
GAP: not passed over, I merely thought you were unavailable,
being involved as it appeared from previous posting with one
L.Luvvie. If you are free, then you and your mate. At the same
time. For I have two sets of fingers and two knuckles. 'Winter
mittens', as it was once described.
Anna Shacklady
- Friday, December 07, 2001 at 05:20:53 (PST)
Ooh, Nigella Lawson. Kinda cute in a mature way. But she
can cook. And some of her stuf looks better than mine, which
is a big turny-on.
King George: Thanks for the Post-Death Rescue Service.
Anna: Obviously not got the fingers of lurrve that you thought
you had... :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Tryng to squeeze into a christmas stocking... - Thursday, December
06, 2001 at 12:47:47 (PST)
She thinks you're a muppet. 'God, it's her' isn't really
the greeting of choice if you're looking to pull...
Passed over for my best friend...must be losing my touch ;-)
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
Wondering if Santa will leave some top totty in my chrismat
stocking - Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 07:13:03 (PST)
Jane Gurnett and Liz Barker: you are two of the three most
beautiful women on TV as I now wish to include in my list Nigella
Lawson. Stunning.
Anna Shacklady
playing iced fingers with GAP's pal from Oxford - Thursday,
December 06, 2001 at 04:21:28 (PST)
King George - now if that had said Monarch of the Glen you'd
be this weeks top telly totty...
Norfolk? Wiltshire? Cheshire???? What ever happened to good
old Birmingham and the Autosport Show?
Girl About Paddock
- Monday, December 03, 2001 at 10:33:24 (PST)
I hereby grant permission for my subjects to continue conversing
in this usually lively forum.
Tis the time of year when motorsport has died. Long live motorsport,
When will we meet thee again, swathed in clothes standing on
a cold, eathy bank in Norfolk or Wiltshire or Cheshire. I may
feign an interest in the Paris-Daakar Raid, but it will be merely
a grasp into the nettle of motor sporting darkness which is
the winter. What am I to do? Please, loyal subjects, stay strong
throughout this time. I need your support. Will you all stand
by me?
King George
PS: I here a rumour that Mr Neil Randon has departed Muttersnort
Screws? Mr James, please enlighten us?
King George <Monarch@theGlen>
On the throne of justice - Monday, December 03, 2001 at 08:36:40
(PST)
Won't someone rescue me from post-death?
Even conversations on totty don't arouse interest. :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In the microchips and memory boards of a computer, playing with
the nodes within. - Monday, December 03, 2001 at 03:06:52 (PST)
Ms Gurnett also deserves nuff respect for telly-tottiness.
I think it could have something to do with the straight hair
and nurses unifrom...
I have to agree with GAP tho, that as far as telly totty goes,
Blue Peter could hardly be the place where it's at. Not since
Janet Ellis has there been a lady on there worthy of my affection.
Arblist, I don't know what agreement you had with Jules, but
you are a bad boy. Pay up, ya tight git. :p
Lizzie Luvvie <stilldepraved@work.com>
Wibble wibble land. No, not over there. Over here! - Wednesday,
November 28, 2001 at 17:15:12 (PST)
It's all too difficult for a poor, Baby Lager.
I can refer this matter to a higher authority..........Webby
Master Bloke?
Lager
- Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 14:33:48 (PST)
I'd like to nominate David Bardwell-Dix as a top bloke ...
he pays his debts. I collected my prize yesterday. Thank you,
dear boy.
Arblist, take note ... >:(
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Enjoying my winnings ... - Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 11:17:47
(PST)
Whatever floats your boat Anna darling...
P.S: No Fair. That's sexist. I'm taking this to a higher authority....Lager,
please make them play nicely!
Girl About Paddock <outraged@anna.com>
- Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 07:06:18 (PST)
GAP: the thought of Pierce Brosnan leaving you dripping wet
...
ps: you are not eligible to vote as I asked for suggestions
of birds only, not blokes. please play by the rules.
I'd also like to vote for Jane Gurnett, her who played Rachel
the nurse in Casualty, then went on to play the lesbian lover
of a character in a mini-series called Little Women and is now
the dame in Crossraods. Please, if you are reading this Ms Gurnett,
could I come and take hold of you and make you into a bundle
all for myself. You are, in my eyes, the sexiest woman on TV
ever.
Anna Shacklady
- Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 05:47:27 (PST)
Blue Peter? Hmmmm....not really a recognised source of telly
totty is it.
After very close scrutiny of ITV's last two Bond films, Pierce
Brosnan sneaks in as a foxy hotty with my vote.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
At Home. Dripping Wet. Bloody Winter. - Tuesday, November 27,
2001 at 10:39:45 (PST)
The presenter of Channel 5's OutThere is one cute cookie.
And Gabby Yorath has exceptionally nice eyes.
Lizzie Luvvie <depravedforces@work.com>
In drool land. - Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 04:49:04 (PST)
I just wish to ask the panel who they think is the best looking
bird on telly.
I'll start with Liz Barker off Blue Peter. I think she is radiant.
Anyone bid higher?
Anna Shacklady
Conkers deep with the bird from the baker's - Tuesday, November
27, 2001 at 04:39:47 (PST)
*STOP PRESS*
Lager enjoyed the rally this year.
Weather not too cold.
Hotel quite nice.(No Bell Boy, though....)
Had enough time to have food.
Had enough time to have sleep.
Small cockpit fire on journey home in van van not too damaging.
*ENDS*
Lager
In the news room........ - Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 02:29:31
(PST)
It's a bizarre experience to suddenly feel the desire to
leave your central heated house and travel to a foreign land
to watch a few old bangers, but it meant I got out of two lectures
on Friday afternoon Gap, imagine the jubilation! :)
It won't happen to you, don't worry. I don't think you are as
stoopid as me. I hope not, anyway!
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In the night. - Monday, November 26, 2001 at 17:22:03 (PST)
Lizzie Luvvie. Get out now. Educational system has obviously
begun it's evil work on your state of mind. Why else would you
want to go and watch Rallying in Wales? In November? I'm very
worried about you (hope it doesn't happen to me)...
GAP <worried@theverythoughtofit>
- Monday, November 26, 2001 at 02:12:38 (PST)
I go to more than 7 weekends of motorsport a year AND I'm
expected to 'work' there. But its a good craich so it doesn't
feel like work. Meet freinds, bit of beer, bit of photography,
bit of beer, bit of writing, bit of beer, bit of photography...
Went to Wales this weekend. Got very cold. Got very wet. Stood
in a forest and saw tewnty cars. Got lost in Cardiff. Got lost
in countryside north of Cardiff. Got lost in countryside west
of Cardiff. Lost brain. Lost money. Lost BIG woolly jumper.
Did I spot Lager? Did I chuff! :s
Lizzie Luvvie <drippingwetforces@work.com>
Back home and dry. DRY!! Has it ever felt this good? - Sunday,
November 25, 2001 at 17:29:48 (PST)
... and those of us who are mothers to young children would
appreciate you not talking about free time at all ... it's a
24/7 job with no time off for good behaviour, you know!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
On a beach in the bahamas, sipping a cocktail and being massaged
by a handsome young Adonis (in my dreams!) - Friday, November
23, 2001 at 10:28:06 (PST)
People who are employed to work in the motor sport industry
would appreciate you not talking about "free weekends". Thank
you.
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, November 23, 2001 at 06:00:08
(PST)
7 Saturdays? Surely that is 7 more than is considered cool
to work?
I'm with you on the dentist thing... :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Wondering if David's gonna throw any scraps his way... - Thursday,
November 22, 2001 at 13:48:25 (PST)
After you have cooled your roasties, you liberate them back
into the warmth of you tum on a sunday evening! (or any other
day come to that) Don't mention the dentist, OK Lizzie Luvvie
Jules! Bet you'll need a holiday after a vist to Wales. You
haven't collected your prize either!
The good news folks, I'm only going to work on 7 Sats in 2002!
YeeeePeeeeee!
:-}
David Bardwell-Dix <waiting@thefridgedoor>
The Kitchen of FFF TN2 - Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 09:02:06
(PST)
I don't know what's going on either Jules, if its any consolation.
:s
Arblist, you're a bad man for not paying up to a charity! I
thought you were decent and good.
Nuff respect to Jules for travelling into Wales of her own free
will for a non-motorsport reason.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Dusseldorf train station, meeting Iggy Pop. And David Bowie.
- Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 06:58:05 (PST)
For anyone that's interested, I'm back from darkest South
Wales (no, I did not go rallying ... someone in this God-forsaken
country has to have Welsh relatives, for goodness sake!).
Arblest, you are a cad ... you still owe a cheque for THE photograph
of Matt James "holding the baby" and it was for charity too!
>:-(
Lager, you look lovely to me, dear ... if only I was 20 years
younger ...
I will try to throw myself back into the fray but of course
it would help if I knew what the hell you were all on about!
Love and stuff, lovies
Me
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Looking at this page in a state of bewilderment and wondering
how I managed to miss so much - Wednesday, November 21, 2001
at 07:15:49 (PST)
I'm having my, errr, teeth pulled that day...
I'm all for liberation, emncipation, but surely roast tatty's
are best eaten not liberated.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Desperately thinking of a different excuse... - Monday, November
19, 2001 at 11:58:59 (PST)
Joy unbounded!
Subjects, may I draw your attention to a fantastic new Formula.
Namely, that of Martin "jangle" Hines. Zip Formula.
The very name makes your heart race a bit faster. Single seater
cars with the aerodynamics of a Caterham make for fantastic
racing, and the victory of Edward Redfern in the opening encounter
sets an encouraging standard for future drivers to aim at. Long
may this continue!
I urge you, dear subjects, to visit the Kingdom of Brands this
weekend to see for yourself these mouthwatering machines. No
"I am at the rally" excuses will be pardoned.
Yours Truly
King George
King George <monach@buckhouse.com>
Pontificating. - Monday, November 19, 2001 at 04:32:10 (PST)
Liberate the roast potatoes NOW!......
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, November 16, 2001 at 05:33:31
(PST)
If you compare rallying to horseracing, the former is obviously
point-to-point racing, which isn't recognised as a real sport
anyway. So stay home you'll see more there, than out in a bleak
forest with a compass, thermos & day-glow jacket. Nubile and
wanton femails don't generaly like the wind swept look, so you
can't even pull there!
Matt your a true diamond, thanks for helping out, I'll get a
reward out of Simon for you if it kills me!
David Bardwell-Dix
In my armchair, warm and cosy with a nice cup of tea and hot
buttered toast. - Friday, November 16, 2001 at 05:31:16 (PST)
Revolution! Damn right. Seek out those rally cars and fans,
dear subjects, and destroy them.
This country of ours has progressed immeasurably under my fine
leadership and pagan rituals, such as standiing in welsh forests
wait for hours to see somone with as much driving talent as
Judd Coupland in a jet-power shopping car trying to slalom between
the trees is evil.
Ban this madness now.
Ever Yours, George
King George <monarch@buckhouse.com>
On the throne of motor sport justice - Friday, November 16,
2001 at 04:05:05 (PST)
I propose a revolution! Off with his head and all that!
I shan't even go to the RallySprint :(
I wanna see cars go fast in mud and grime and to hear their
engines roar. There's nothing wrong with that, far as I can
see.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
France, Russia, Cuba: embedded in history and aiming for their
achievements! - Thursday, November 15, 2001 at 18:00:43 (PST)
Rallying should be banned. It should not be allowed to take
place. Who wants to go and see the Rally of South Wales anyway?
The reason racing people go so mad over it is because all the
decent stuff has finished at this time of year (apart from the
final rounds of the Formula Renault Winter Series and the Formula
Ford Zetec Winter Championship).
Rallysrint stages are an admission by rally fans that they are
wrong. To spice up being rallies and make them more spectator
friendly, they run the cars, two-by-two, around a closed course!
Surely that is racing? They've realised their sport has no appeal
and to make it good they need to make it more like racing!
Rubbish!
King George <scuffing@thecheek>
Chap, over. - Thursday, November 15, 2001 at 04:40:44 (PST)
Just wondering if anyone from here is venturing from the
safety and comfort of their armchair, into the wilderness of
South Wales for the Rally?
Lizzie Luvvie <dark(and
cold)forces@work.com>
In a washing machine, looking thru my soapsud-coated porthole
at the world turning outside. - Wednesday, November 14, 2001
at 17:25:37 (PST)
My goodness - that's very impressive! Who is Newshound? Whoever
it is seems to be very clued up on things - there's lots in
there that I didn't know about!
Lager
- Wednesday, November 14, 2001 at 04:59:50 (PST)
RSL to cover The Network Q Rally of Great Britain
Submitted by: ukradio.com Published: Friday, 9 November 2001
The temporary licensed station will broadcast on 87.7 MHz from
21st to 25th November, as the route drives through South Wales
In conjunction with Red Dragon FM - the station will broadcast
a mix of news and information from the rally, allowing some
300,000 + spectators to get up-to-the-minute news from the stages.
They will also be able to keep up with results and hear from
the drivers.
11 different FM transmitters will network with a mix of DAB
technology and satellite links to ensure quality of signal and
coverage.
The station will use radio proffessionals and operate from studios
in Swansea and Cardiff.
Alan Hyde and John Hindhough will present the morning, with
former Sky News reporter Gary Champion fronting the afternoon.
Howard Pearce - Thames 107.8 Breakfast Presenter and Pat Murphy
Thames' weekend presenter will be anchoring the evening segments.
The news desk is being looked after by IRN's Richard Midson
and BBC Radio's Patrick Lunt. The stages will be covered by
Sky Sports commentator David Addison and Eurosport's Martin
Haven.
Producer is ex BBC -Grandstand and now Sky Sports Producer Charles
Balchin, with TV Producer Rachael Elliott assisting.
Newshound
- Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 04:26:49 (PST)
No no - you're quite right. It does look broken to me as
well.
I had never noticed it before, and now I can't stop looking
in the mirror.....
Lager <looking@the.hideous.disfigurement>
- Monday, November 12, 2001 at 06:05:26 (PST)
Lager your jaws fine at work, must be those pesky, low-down,
no good mice again!
David Bardwell-Dix <Itsanat@batteryboomboomboom>
Somewhere just left of reality - Monday, November 12, 2001 at
04:32:35 (PST)
Is it my PC or has the picture of Lager, above, depict him
with a broken jaw?
David Bardwell-Dix <at-@thatfighterthinginstarwars>
I'm dreaming of a white christmas - Sunday, November 11, 2001
at 13:00:46 (PST)
Mommy, Mommy, Matt broke the Guestbook!
He so did! :p
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Down by the riverside... - Thursday, November 08, 2001 at 04:19:40
(PST)
TOCA awards. Drink? Na, not me ta. Silverstone clubbie? Mega.
Commentary? Rhubbush. Formula Ford? Absolutely mega. Weather?
Very nice. News this week? None, a very empty paper. At least
Lager made me smile (the person that is, not the drink...I don't
drink, you see. Don't need it (blah blah - I refer to the posting
I left some time ago...))
Matt James <Shocked@audacity.com>
Under the moon of love - Monday, November 05, 2001 at 06:15:45
(PST)
Lizzie Luvvie - you may well ask! coz I cant speal, speeel,
spell, spel, spael - well one of the must be wright, rite, writ,
write, right, out a sight!
David Bardwell-Dix
Wiv me hed in da books - Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 15:15:13
(PST)
My braincell has returned today and I remembered the Toca
bashment. As I drove by - give or take 15 miles - I waved at
you. But you probably didn't see me... :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Sitting in a barrel, contemplating what's at the bottom. - Sunday,
November 04, 2001 at 11:14:46 (PST)
Fantastic little shindig last night. Lager, room 0203 was
fantastic!
arblist <somebody@somewhere.com>
Back at home after the mayhem.....still suffering from the glare
off Dans head - Sunday, November 04, 2001 at 07:43:45 (PST)
Gig? :s
What's happening at the Hilton?
I'm going to a drinky drinky fireworky fireworky (or maybe we
ought to do fireworky before drinky) the west side of Brum.
Y'all have fun whatever you're up to!
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Gazing at a big pile of textbooks..and not reading a single
one of 'em. - Saturday, November 03, 2001 at 04:46:16 (PST)
So whos going to be at the gig tonight then??
Arblist <teraflops@NASA.org>
Birmingham Hilton, getting ready for the mayhem!!!! - Saturday,
November 03, 2001 at 01:05:44 (PST)
Euaskadi? :s Where do they speak that? On the face of it,
it looks like you made the better choice, even if it is dreary.
My modules: American history since 1890 (intensely dull, but
compulsory), American Politics (kinda interesting, but the lecturer
is partial to four long words when one small one would have
done...). Broadcast Talk (which is tres cool and interesting)
and Media and Popular Culture (Snobbish take on pop culture/Marxist
theory on pop culture: intriguing!! :)
David: now you've achieved fame and/or notoriety as a media
harlot, why'd you wanna go back to school?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Sucking on a dead man's blood. - Thursday, November 01, 2001
at 12:31:01 (PST)
David Bardwell-Dix
Going back to school - Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 00:40:59
(PST)
I told you Lizzie, it's a cruel and unusual punishment. I'm
still trying to work out the crime. Obviously it was something
awful - I'll have to think of something to redeem myself pronto.
Sorta, it was a choice between cultural rep and learning dialects
like Euaskadi. It seemed like a good choice at the time. I also
do Spanish Language, Italian Language and Italian Culture and
Society - but they were all compulsory 'cos my degree is in
Spanish and Italian. What about you?
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Just back from some retail therapy, admiring my purchases -
Wednesday, October 31, 2001 at 12:47:33 (PST)
Wouldn't we all 'give her one' Anna. ;p
GAP: Spanish Political Music? Did you sign up for this course
voluntarily? Are you taking medication?
Spanish films could be good, usually a bit surreal and strange,
I like that in a film :)
What other modules do you do alongside it?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Hiding from the trick or treaters... - Wednesday, October 31,
2001 at 12:21:30 (PST)
Suzi Perry? Golden nectar? Golden Shower more like (and,
yes, I'd give her one).
Matt: think! cold, gold, bubbles, head, thirst quenching, pint
of, refreshing
Anna Shacklady
riding my charriot, whipping some screaming bitches in hell
- Wednesday, October 31, 2001 at 06:24:16 (PST)
I wish I'd done Media Studies it kinda fits in better with
being a press officer then Spanish and Italian. I did it at
A-Level though, that was quite good.
Spanish Cultural Representations - probably as bad as American
Studies but it's all in Spanish! We do four weeks of Spanish
Art, 4 of Spanish Political Music, 4 of Spanish/South American
Literature and 4 of Spanish Cinema. All linked in to analysis
of society at that time. It's a cruel and unusual punishment.
GAP
At home. Working. Again. - Wednesday, October 31, 2001 at 06:12:26
(PST)
I don't even come in third? I'm an embarrassment to myself!
:(
GAP - Media and American Studies are my specialist subjects.
Media is deeply engrossing, whereas American Studies is quite
tedious this semester - load of old history nonsense :s
What do you get up to in Spanish Cultural Representations? Do
you get to listen to Spanish guitar music (Gypsy King's style)?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforceswork.com>
At home, under titanium shielding... - Wednesday, October 31,
2001 at 03:14:09 (PST)
Thank you all for your support, the results in a minute,
first a few points....
1) NEVER say yes to the BBC doing an OB, but your boss will
2) NEVER plan to do anything for the BBC, as they will always
change everything that you have built up to make life easy for
you
3) NEVER wave to the cammera, esp when your live to 2.5 millon
viewers
4) NEVER say 'I don't mind, what help do you need?'
5) DO say that you live under a curfew system and under court
action you can't be out on the streets after 5.30pm and not
allowed back on them before 9am.
6) DO NOT forget that very important meeting with the director
the day before your on
7) Avoid eye contact with the clearly gay assistant floor manager,
because everytime you do you know he is going to wink at you
8) Lock up all cans of Red Bull, and remember to take all the
coffee home for safe keeping
9) Remember you have to wear the same outfit for the whole of
the filming and you will be running round like a blue arse fly,
buy 24hour deodorant and a jumbo pack of Fabreeze
10) Do not fall over or drop anything, good job I fell over
off camera and I didn't drop anything, well not of theirs!
Now comp results....
In third place, nobody (shoddy work there Lizzie Luvvie)
In second place, F@bird
In First Place, with too much time on his hands, watching day
time TV and eating too many donuts....drum roll please...**************....LAGER,
WELL DONE CHAP!!!
Now since I don't see you too often, you don't drink and are
giving the smoking up in 2002, may I donate the prize to F@bird
as she is in dire need?
David Bardwell-Dix
Back home! - Tuesday, October 30, 2001 at 12:38:43 (PST)
I missed it 'cos of said education establishment too. And
it would have been more interesting than Spanish Cultural Representations
(it's music this month, zzzzzzzz).
What do you study btw Lizzie?
GAP <working@home>
Still drooling over 7. 007. Licensed to thrill. - Tuesday, October
30, 2001 at 11:28:16 (PST)
You were Antique Hunters (or something similarly named :s)
Dixy? Nuff respect, I missed it due to university and my housemate
messed up the videoing (he is no more!).
At what point will you take over from Carol Smilie and Carol
Vorderman as Presenter Extraordinaire on daytime TV?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In a wooden box. mmm, feel the graining on the sides... - Tuesday,
October 30, 2001 at 10:17:44 (PST)
Oh dear - it seems I've done one of those conversation stoppers.
Sorry.
Mr B-Dix - I tuned in, as per your instructions on this very
forum, and spied you many times. Holding that pricelss pottery
with such steady hands!
You were like the Anthea Redfern of antiques. Just without the
blonde hair.
Or the dress.
Lager
In the Dog House........... - Tuesday, October 30, 2001 at 04:45:10
(PST)
Uggg! That's yucky, BoB!
By the way, Mr Waller's piece in Autosprout this week was marvellous
- what a fabby opportunity, getting to drive an Astra Tourer.....
Why didn't you get a go? You need to take over the speedy legacy
left by Jarvo, within the Motorsport News office.
Lager
- Friday, October 26, 2001 at 06:11:45 (PDT)
When you talk about golden goodness, are you on about drinking
your own urine again Matty? I've told you to stop that - it's
not nice...
BofB <m@teroffact>
South Central Teddington - Friday, October 26, 2001 at 04:09:12
(PDT)
It is truly admirable, Mattie. Well done. I struggle with
the concept of not drinking daily. Haven't had a drop since
1984, but still I crave it every single day....
Actually, I don't. I lied. But soon I am to join in the kicking
of a nasty habit. 2002 is going to be a smoke free year.....Smokeless
Lager.
(Don't (can't) hold your breath - we've tried this one before
as well.......).
Lager
In my comfortable office............ - Friday, October 26, 2001
at 04:00:14 (PDT)
Okay, Matt, who are you trying to convince? Yourself or us?
When you fall off the wagon, I'll be there to catch you and
wash you down with a pint of the golden nectar!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Swamped in doubtfulness ... - Thursday, October 25, 2001 at
10:33:02 (PDT)
I still haven't had a drink. It has been three weeks now.
Very proud of myself. I don't need drink, me. Feel fine without
it. Nope, drink is for losers. Yep, definitely don't need alcohol.
Nope. Nope., siree. Not even a half pint. None of that gleaming,
glistening half pint of golden goodness for me anymore. None
of that cool-tasting, sumptuous alcoholic-ness. Don't need it.
See, I am fine. I have proved it. Haven't I?
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Under the bridge - Thursday, October 25, 2001 at 08:03:41 (PDT)
Sounds hazardously like
a) you're appearing on the home improvementy thingy with the
delightful Suzi Perry lass
or b) you've been captured mid-way thru a bar fight on film
and are going to trial on Monday, the eleven o'clock news doing
full coverage: live.
:s
Lizzie Luvvie <inthedarkstillbut@the
lightbulbdepartment>
Flailing in the ocean, with an albatross on my left and a dolphin
on my right, unfortunately a crab is on my toe. :s - Wednesday,
October 24, 2001 at 17:52:23 (PDT)
Well, well, well ladies and gentlemen. Has F@bird jumped
the gun? I do beleive she has, so can you tell me what colour
my tie was? The prize is 40 of your fav Superkings!
Lizzie Luvvie... Sorry bit a closed shop game this, I admit.
If you still require a look at my alta ego, may I be so bold
as to ask you to watch BBC 1 at 11:00am on Mon 29th and Tues
30th when I will be LIVE! By the way I'm the one in the green
suit.
As for famous, well you are right, always seem to miss the big
time by a knats wing, but one day, yes one day, ha-ha THE WORLD
WILL BE MINE!!!!!
David Bardwell-Dix <Whosbeen@theTVtoolong>
Thats me on your telly - Wednesday, October 24, 2001 at 12:55:02
(PDT)
I will claim my prize very soon, DBD .... 20 Superkings,
thanks!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Staring into a crystal ball ... - Wednesday, October 24, 2001
at 11:09:03 (PDT)
DBD - any chance we can find a piccy of you on the web somewhere,
so as we know what you look like and then we will find it easier
to spot you.
I could have seen you a thousand times on tv all ready, but
wouldn't know.
(NB: you need to be famous to make the 'Where's ...' game work.
:p )
Lizzie Luvvie <inthedark@home.com>
Swimming to the surface, but having to go slow to avoid getting
the bends... - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 16:58:36 (PDT)
That should be 'coming'.
D B-D <crap@spelling>
I Know! - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 10:34:04 (PDT)
With all due respects to the 'Where is Lager?' game. The
DBD game starts from 7pm today!!! I'm somewhere on TV and will
make 6 apperances over the comeing weeks as my dopple-ganger,
The Mighty S Wah! First spotter to contact me gets a small prize,
booze or fags or something! and 'be carefull out there'.
David Bardwell-Dix <W@ch.Out!>
That would be telling..... - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 10:32:22
(PDT)
I feel I know that Ste person.
Long-haired Lizzie-eejit here, Ste, 'fore you think weird people
are saying hello to you. Sorry, -more- weird ppl.... ;)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Inside a bottle, with the sands of time. Buried on the floor
of the Pacific Ocean. - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 04:06:12
(PDT)
Keep up the good work Little Al!
Ste <ste50@hotmail.com>
Reading, Berkshire - Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 02:29:28 (PDT)
You guys are ruining my image. Be quiet! Booze, fags birds,
blah blah!
Festival was wet, wasn't it!? Nice and moist all the way through
the day, and not an AA grid girl in sight!
Matt "Hard man, rock and roll,
smoking, drinking" James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Hello? Where the f**k am I? Who is the president?? - Monday,
October 22, 2001 at 06:33:02 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, October 22, 2001 at 05:54:12
(PDT)
Shhhhh, DBD. Mummy will expect me to be good for her if you
tell her that! Thank you for keeping me company on Friday night.
I had a great time. I think that Uncle Bloke's bedtime story
skills need brushing up though 'cos Auntie T was much better
and she's great at brushing teeth too!
Maxie Little Bird <Angelic@home>
Using Mummy's computer while she's not looking - Sunday, October
21, 2001 at 00:35:37 (PDT)
"Kid from hell" is the most inaccurate description ever.
What an little cherub. You should be totally proud of her and
yourself for raising her in times like these. Nice one F@bird!
David Bardwell-Dix <Amazed@motherhood>
Back at mine now. - Saturday, October 20, 2001 at 11:32:25 (PDT)
Hold on F@bird. 'Kid from hell'? you didn't mention that
I signed that form in blood! Still I'll bring along Omen, Friday
the 13th DVDs, my Ozzy Osbourne and Slipknot CDs and a small
bottle of holy water.
David Bardwell-Dix <Staying@homethen>
My place, next to the church, by the holy temple of Motorsport.
- Friday, October 19, 2001 at 09:41:41 (PDT)
Heroes?
Matt James and David Bardwell-Dix for having the courage to
babysit my "kid from hell", Little Maxie Bird ... I am indebted,
guys.
Villains?
Arbelist - He knows I have the photo so where's the cheque?
... and it was for charity >:(
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Gob smacked in the face of such bravery ... - Friday, October
19, 2001 at 08:45:47 (PDT)
Heroes?
Plato
Sato
Amato
Heel and toe
FF TV voice who said Richard you-ran-son
Mrs Stancombe
Villains:
As above
Northern-ish bloke <turnleft@doncaster>
Up here somewhere - Friday, October 19, 2001 at 04:55:45 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, October 17, 2001 at 21:32:06
(PDT)
FPA has also produced such noteables as Carl Breeze, Martyn
Smith, Sam Hancock, Edward Redfern, Judd Coupland, etc etc
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Under the blanket - Wednesday, October 17, 2001 at 07:11:54
(PDT)
Phil Bennett has done wonders for the credibility of being
a 'rookie' so you can call me a fresher if you really must Anna!
As for FPA - I didn't really mean that it 'produced' those drivers,
just pointing out that they came through its ranks before getting
where they are today.
I totally agree blaming the media was well off track though.
How rude.
Bigger and better. Onwards and upwards. Faster and Faster. Snazzier
paddock for being a Girl About in. I've already told him what's
expected.
GAP <soyouthinkimsexy@uni.com>
- Wednesday, October 17, 2001 at 03:05:42 (PDT)
Anna of the shack, my parents own 4 acres of chestnut woods,
which produce the best chestnuts in the world, probably. So
bring a large bag, stout boots for stanping on the shells and
a car to get me there too.
Do you boil, bake or roast?
S Wah <Jackfrostnipping@yourtoes>
By a roaring fire. - Tuesday, October 16, 2001 at 13:16:52 (PDT)
The Farmhouse campsite (next to Donnington) has chestnut
trees in the grounds and they're all ready dropping conkers.
I dunno about the edible kind. Look in your local Tesco's (Other
supermarkets are available...) or greengrocers.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Time: a paradox. Life: ambiguous. Death: a certainty. - Tuesday,
October 16, 2001 at 09:31:44 (PDT)
GAP: although drop ded gorg you clearly are still a fresher/too
young to remember. That championship, you say, "produced" Danny
Watts, Tim Mullen, Carl Breeze and Justin Wilson. I think you'll
find they were around and all doing rather well prior to that.
Ask all but one (and he has good reason not to), and they will
each roll their eyes, take a breath and then reel off some true
horror stories. I think one of them walked out after one race
in pure disgust. Thursday 1 March 2001 was such a happy day
in all our lives. One day you will grow to understand. And the
man had the b****cks to blame the press ... Now, away from the
spotlight and not under so much pressure, it appears to have
done a lot better for itself. And I'm glad your chappie came
third and hope he progresses to bigger and better things next
season.
Can anyone tell me when the chestnuts are out and where's a
good place to pick em.
Anna Shacklady
Ogling over Linda Gray naked on stage in a magazine - Tuesday,
October 16, 2001 at 05:31:09 (PDT)
Hurrah!
i am a hero (in two peoples eyes anyway!)
I would also like to promote the correct spelling of eeebz,
it is eeebz,
Ta.
Eeebz
eeebz <bolox@eeebz.com>
working harder for less - Tuesday, October 16, 2001 at 01:19:44
(PDT)
Ah, thanks Anna :)
I know I'm not allowed to mention the formula that is associated
with a former Grand Prix driver and a car company called Audi,
but as one of my drivers has just finished third in the series
I have to say I don't think it's all that bad!
To be fair it's produced some good racing this year and some
great drivers in the past - the luvellys Danny Watts and Tim
Mullen for example, plus Justin Wilson and maybe Carl Breeze(I
think?)...
GAP <wayoutinleftfield@home.com>
Gearing up to fight Rob for a prime spot at sponsorship central
- Monday, October 15, 2001 at 13:53:07 (PDT)
Scrap Matty J from my hearoes list!!!! :p
Replace with the far superior Webbie Bloke.
Forgive me webbie bloke, for you are most noble and I have stained
your character so. Please refrain from smighting my head off
my neck.
Humblest apologies.
Ems: above, below, hmm.... ;)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Flying down this moonlight drive, playing chess with warriors
of old and enchanting goblins into the mindset of dames... -
Monday, October 15, 2001 at 12:23:21 (PDT)
2nd Addition.
And, of course, anybody else who I left off my first two lists!!
;o) Sorry!
This could run and run - 2001 was a big year in lots of ways.
Lob Larff <re:amazed@the.glaring.ommision>
Sponsorship central - Monday, October 15, 2001 at 12:07:41 (PDT)
May I firstly point out that I did not place my heroes in
a particular order, so Emma being on top of or below someone
is neither here nor there. Nice thought, tho...
Secondly, thank you Lizzie for the kind words, but I must decline
from taking the glory over this website. Webbie bloke is the
man, and he is another of my terrible ommisions.
Love you everyone,
MJ
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In love with Brands Hatch - Monday, October 15, 2001 at 09:16:19
(PDT)
Heroes:
Mr Lager: he da dude.
Em's: for showing me round and waving at me every race since
then
Paul O'Neill: Just cool. No other reason.
Matt Neal: For showing up every now and again at races and still
having time for a chat.
Matty J: for creating this residency of lunatics...
Villains:
Whoever booked the Elises as support races.
Kaiser Soze!! (Ooops...)
Lizzie Luvvie <drippingwet@home.com>
Why does it always wait till you're one road away from your
house before the heavens open? Some kinda sick metreological
humour there... - Monday, October 15, 2001 at 07:05:49 (PDT)
Eh hem. Excuse me. Mr Barrf. Methinks there will need to
be another addendum to your thoughts as well. I'm sure it was
just an oversight.
And, Mr James, I am here to tell you that ouseaux don't take
kindly to omissions. Particularly when they are listed second
in a list of two amendments. I think some creeping might be
required.
Lager <amazed@the.glaring.ommision>
Home - Monday, October 15, 2001 at 06:39:58 (PDT)
ADDENDUM:
I forgot a couple of other heroes, and I don't believe I did!
They are:
Jules
Em
Thanks for your attention
MJ
PS: Cheers Lob Balff
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Under the moon of love - Sunday, October 14, 2001 at 22:21:12
(PDT)
Correction & addition to last posting.
Heroes - Micheal Vergers, still blindingLY quick at 40 (work
it out, he's been doing the festival for the past few decades...)
Trevor Carlin - is it true he also runs a wine bar??...
Apologies for the error, I'm off to throw myself onto my family
sword!
And I'm glad someone noticed that my team mate did talk too
much this year...
Cheers, Barff.
(Matt J - I'll be in touch soon re 2002)
Rob Barff <crap@spelling.sorry>
- Sunday, October 14, 2001 at 10:51:30 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, October 14, 2001 at 10:39:26
(PDT)
Barffs heroes....
Jason Plato
Phil Bennett
Jakob Ebrey
Danny Buxton
Verge - still blinding quick at 40!
Very honourable Matt James
Naoki Ito at Suzuka Circuit
Anthony Davidson
Schumacher for his mega first lap at the Suzuka GP this morning...Luke
Kendall at Rollcentre - changed engines in my racecar more often
than I changed my underpants last season (and still kept smiling)
Barffs villains...
Anybody who blindly supports the BTCC
Multi millionaire GT drivers
The gimp at Autosport who chose'that photo' of me last week...
Rob Bain
erm....
Rob Barff <rob@robbarff.com>
Foggy Silverstone on Sunday morning.... - Sunday, October 14,
2001 at 03:14:54 (PDT)
Heroes:
1. Lager (plus Em and Titch) for giving me (and I'm sure all
of us) so much motivation, smailes and genuine handshakes which
are so lacking in our favourite sport.
2. Matty: cos he's one of the few breed of journos who really
have racing in their blood and truly understand what it should
be all about
3. Kimi: and he always will be
4. Anyone standing in the rain at the final BTCC round
5. GAP cos although she's still a 'fresher' she's got bags of
enthusiasm
6. The three Dans: Mayo, Watts and Buxton
7. The Ebes: Jakob Ebrey and crew for putting up with sometimes
awkward requests but he still gets on and does the job. extremely
well.
8. Jim Edwards Jnr for driving a clapped out tank with a major
fuel leak through a tyre wall and to Production class victory
at Croft
8. Robert Dalghren and Murray Racing for sticking one up VD.
9. Clare Redgrave
10. Cliff Dempsey Racing for the whisky, er, sorry, coffees
and Manor Motorsport for much gaiety.
Villains: one whose name I believe features extremely highly
on 'that list'. him again. and again. and 20 times over again
just for being such an arrogant, non-understanding, ferret faced
little tw!! Jonathan Palmer: the same. Oh, and whoever nicked
Martin Johnson's Mitsubishi Evo6 from Donington test day.
Forza La Festivali!!! Vergers to win and all that ...
Anna Shacklady, Attourney At Law
in a taxi with four birds - Saturday, October 13, 2001 at 11:01:55
(PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Saturday, October 13, 2001 at 07:30:41
(PDT)
Heroes of the year:
1/Alex Yoong
2/Danny Watts - Just because.
3/Kimi Raikkonen - 'nuff said.
4/Phil Bennett
5/JPM - he's just a player
6/Carl - for answering all my questions without cursing (much)
7/Matt - 'Cos I can't spell either
Villains of the year:
1/DC: For losing to Schuey + because I must be the only blonde
in the western world he's yet to be pictured in St. Trop with
2/Alex Yoong - 'cos THOSE pictures haven't been re-released
3/Yvan Muller - for being beaten by Plato
GAP <abouttodosomework@home.com>
On location... - Saturday, October 13, 2001 at 01:44:49 (PDT)
Heroes of the year:
Lager - for striding up-and-down the pit-lane in the pi@£ing
rain at Brands Hatch and still being able to force a smile.
Also for inspiring the great "Where's Lager?" game (which will
return for a fabulous Xmas special).
Matt James - for being a good target for airborne tippex bottles
during office-related, ground-effect style mards. And for not
being able to spell "Villains".
Phil Bennett - for coming up with loads of great feature ideas
for MN.
Jason Plato - 2001 BTCC Champion.
Silverstone Press Room - for being somewhere nice to lie down
and sleep when ripped to the tits on BTCC qualifying days.
Paul O'Neill - proof that nice guys can do well in motorsport.
and that men can cry and still be men.
Motorsport News - for being great, (even when it is shit). And
for not being a glossy, overpriced full-colour titwank.
Dan Mayo - for the words "camel", "homer", "haddock", "bullshit"
and "Nick James".
Lots of motorsport hacks/media types - who make doing the job
bloody excellent.
Beast of Bodmin
<m@ttyb>
A damp, warm place - Friday, October 12, 2001 at 07:28:13 (PDT)
I will start the ball rolling.
HEROES OF THE YEAR: Lager, Paul Lawrence, Ian McKellar Jnr,
Jason Plato, Carl McKellar, Justin Wilson, Kimi Raikkonen, Steven
Kane, Robert Dahlgren, Stuart Parker, Danny Watts, Robin Liddell,
Mike Jordan, Anthony Davidson, Matt Burt, Rob Barff, Paul O'Niell,
Michael Vergers, Richard Rodgers.
VILLANS OF THE YEAR: Rob Bain, Jonathan Palmer, Mike Schmidt,
Autosport, urm, Carl Breeze, Anyone who got beaten by Carl Breeze
(except Danny Watts), Triple Eight.
Any more thoughts would be interesting...MJ
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Under the - Friday, October 12, 2001 at 07:07:48 (PDT)
Jeez, there's no hope for me at thirty-something then ...
I'll call the undertaker, shall I?
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
At work using my boss' computer and skiving ... as it should
be - Friday, October 12, 2001 at 03:45:03 (PDT)
Thank you Lager :) I'm sure it wasn't that long ago!
If go faster stripes are cheating, I better recall my zimmer
from team HQ - I sent it in for a tune up and set up change
just yesterday. Oops.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, October 11, 2001 at 03:45:43
(PDT)
Adding go faster stripes is cheating surely!!
I like that we've got a way to go before we hit pensionable
age. Its just that I'm nearly one fifth of a century old. I'm
doing that 'I remember you when you were this [indicates] big'
thing that is so embarrasing. I drive a Rover, not an MG ZT.
I'm one step away from comfy slippers, wooly cardigans and a
coffin... ;D
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Still in a cake. The one piece is digging in now and I'm feeling
chilly as well as lonely... - Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at
12:03:22 (PDT)
Happy Birthady, Girl About Paddock!
Many happy returns, and all that stuff. I remember twenty.
Vaguely.
Lager
- Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at 07:52:45 (PDT)
Thanks Lizzie :)
Steady up, I'm not feeling that old - there's another decade
yet 'till we're half way to collecting the pension!
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
Adding go faster stripes to the zimmer - Wednesday, October
10, 2001 at 06:25:54 (PDT)
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear G-ap
Happy Birthday to you
Don't feel too bad, I'm reaching two decades in twelve days.
We can rumble along on our turbo-charged zimmer frames together.
Last to collect the collect the pension is a rotten egg!
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Sitting inside a Birthday cake, wearing a one piece swimsuit
and a crown of fake silver and crystal. It sure is dark in here...
- Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at 04:07:47 (PDT)
Thank you Lager! You're a pal. I know, but I'm soooooo gutted
that I missed the last race and didn't get to see anyone :(
I'm feeling better today 'cos it's my birthday! I'm also feeling
old...and I'm only 20! I think it's all downhill from here....
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Plotting how to spend my ill gotten spoils - Wednesday, October
10, 2001 at 03:44:02 (PDT)
have i been blocked? barred? banned? oh well
classic <mandy_gage@hotmail.com>
worque - Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at 01:47:31 (PDT)
GAP - nice column. So to speak. It's a nasty old bug though,
you made a very wise decision not to go and get soaked at Brands!
And Mattie, how smart you looked, Sir.....
Marvellous.
What a shame there has to be a winner and a loser.
Lager
Still at home......... - Tuesday, October 09, 2001 at 02:13:27
(PDT)
Rick Who?
Sneezy <tissues@dawn>
Land of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs...... - Monday, October
08, 2001 at 11:36:39 (PDT)
PS: Web master bloke, please forgive this blatent attempt
at self promotion!
My 1st ever column-
http://www.parcferme.com/Articles/461.html
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 11:04:11
(PDT)
Matt you could allways pop round if your fed up with the
lack of booze in Tunbridge Wells and have a beer -ah- problem
there, ok bottle of wine -oops- sorry. Got it! Have you tryed
an Ice Cold Kaliber!!!
The Mighty S Wah <@@@>
Shocked and Horrified - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 11:02:32
(PDT)
Er, Lizzie who told you I was there? I've had flu and I still
wasn't feeling well when I got up at 5am (SHOCK HORROR) to go
to Brands on Sunday so I didn't go - driving 400 miles in gale
force winds while ill isn't really my idea of fun.
I did send Anna a text msg (hopefully b4 she left hotel sans
pass) but she didn't reply. Not even once. Not even to enquire
about my welfare. *sniff*
Matt- you can share my Lemsips if you aren't feeling better
yet!
GAP
- Monday, October 08, 2001 at 10:18:14 (PDT)
Is there a reason for your temporary tee-totalism?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkfrces@work.com>
In a bottle, looking at the concave world outside... Bit wet,
innit - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 10:07:35 (PDT)
I have given up alcohol from now until December 7. If anyone
cares to join me in this noble venture, feel free. Love Matty
xx
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
away from the pub. - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 09:43:52 (PDT)
Sorry about my last posting. Again. I am rubbish, with a
capital H
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In the orifice. - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 09:42:24 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 08:37:57
(PDT)
I thought camping might be a bad idea, when you go back to
your tent on Sunday afternoon and half of its learning to fly,
you KNOW it was a bad idea. It is hanging on the washing line
now :s
I had a grand time in the Thistle tho. Its a bit posh for studenty
types tho.
GAP - what can I say? I'm told you were there, but I didn't
find you. Sorry :(
Lager - Thanks for all your work over the TOCA season. And last
night was cool, send regards to Ems for disc-spinning smoothness.
What am I going to do with my weekends now?
Lizzie Luvvie <dopeyforces@work.com>
NOW nice and warm, but mighty hungry!! - Monday, October 08,
2001 at 06:31:15 (PDT)
Plato, horrah! Bennett, horrah! Damp AA girls, horrah! Harrison,
horrah! Lager, horrah! Weather, boo, coldness boo, red flags
boo.
Matt James <still
f**king wet>
moist, damp, soggy, sticky, miserable, cold, shaking, pissed
off and fed up. In other words, at Brands on Sunday - Monday,
October 08, 2001 at 03:56:07 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
well i came here for a little look and am shocked! birds? skirt?
mr semi classic - this is way out of my innocent league. and
strawberry blond? maybe a tad more golden wheat... but overcooked
:) i know someone who's waiting to hear from u!!!
classique <fizzi@fizzworld.com>
??? - Monday, October 08, 2001 at 02:25:16 (PDT)
I'm quite interested in wagtails, wonderbras and Harlow red
earthenware circa 1650. But enough of this.
Come ON, England.
Mr Hyde please get the jump right, landing at the ON and not
the Come or England.
Hustings
The Dixter
David Bardwell-Dix <Looking@theFitzwilliam>
That's in Cambridge. - Friday, October 05, 2001 at 12:51:00
(PDT)
No offence taken Lager. But if you change the wording to
'Totty. Discuss' that'd be better 'cos then I could join in
the conversation as well!
Matt, such topics require subtelty (spelling?) I despair. I
think you need some tips...
Lizzie Luvvie - strawberry blonde, small-ish, in paddock on
Sunday 11am+, looking cold probably. How much more help can
I give you?!
GAP
Sending Moneypenny round to MJ's place for some lessons - Friday,
October 05, 2001 at 10:27:18 (PDT)
I like vultures. Kind of cute in a hard-to-understand-but-yeah-...
kind of way. Plus they do that whole dopey appearance very well,
like they've been having a puff on something a little more than
Golden Virginia up in the sky.
Little tip for Lager: don't peck at windows. Food, yes. Trees,
maybe. Other birds, at a push. But not windows. It just ain't
cool in Bird World.
Lager, a) you're on to pointing out either myself or GAP, to
each other, cause I don't have a clue :s. b) Thanks for rescuing
a dead post (I owe you a coffe...or something stronger if you're
around in the evening. :D
MJ, you should be ashamed of yourself. Such open perversion!!
I'm shocked. :o
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Sitting on a mountain top. The Savanna in front of me and the
sky above. Wildebeest in the long grass, meercats and the such
in the short. - Friday, October 05, 2001 at 02:40:27 (PDT)
I would like to enter the entire world of lingerie. Which
is the male/female preference on this topic?
Lager's obsession with "birds" is a thinly hidden veil of his
obsession with nature, nothing more, and I think he should be
left alone. Mine, on the other hand, is pure and simple perversion...
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Next to Vanessa, in the office - Friday, October 05, 2001 at
02:20:01 (PDT)
I think the subject matter is valid, to be honest.
My thoughts always turn skyward as we start to look forward
to the winter months. I just wanted to bring the subject to
the forefront of people's minds, so that they may start to think
about maybe putting out some nuts, to help them through the
chilly weather.
I had no idea it was about to cause any offence. Sorry.
Now if I'd said something like: “Skirt. Discuss”, then I could
see good reason to be raising an eyebrow.....
I'm like a ouseau......
Lager <pecking@thewindow>
In the graden......... - Friday, October 05, 2001 at 02:13:55
(PDT)
For a professional talk machine Lager, 'Birds. Discuss' is
scraping the bottom of the barrel a tad...
I will be in the paddock / grandstands on sunday Lizzie.
GAP <beenonthedodgems@thegoosefair.com>
HQ being briefed for the weekend's mission - Friday, October
05, 2001 at 01:03:19 (PDT)
Yeah yeah - I know the feeling, mate.
Still, let's rescue it....let's set the ball rolling. This one
never fails.
Birds. Discuss.
Lager <Iknowwhereit's@>
Here - Thursday, October 04, 2001 at 14:21:52 (PDT)
Appear to have done one of those conversation stopper postings
that we all dread, like our own death.
Of course I could place the blame entirely on Somebody Someone
who posted after me, but as she/he/it appear to be a representative
of somebody's computer glitch, its more than likely entirely
my fault.
Was it the gender-bending thing? Was it -too- much? Or else,
GAP has put a Silence order on you all in the hope you don't
give away her location over the weekend... I don't even smell
that bad. :s
Lizzie Luvvie <Apologeticforces@work.com>
Cowering behind a sofa, in case someone comes to get me in the
night.... You never know, they might! - Thursday, October 04,
2001 at 12:36:03 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 12:19:46
(PDT)
What do you mean gender-crossing? ;)
'Shaved his legs, then he was a she' as Lou Reed said.
Worying thing is, Matty knows my name, but I don't know his/him.
Does this potentially put me in a dangerous position where he
can blackmail me in the future when I am a media magnate?
How will I know where to find you GAP? I know the Paddockwoould
be a safe bet, but given the number of blondes, who happen to
be a strawberry shade of blonde..., who wander round the paddock
this doesn't make my search easy. I on the other hand, am easily
identifiable by my head-gear. Ask Lager.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
On the verge of Sanity, just off the main thoroughfare. - Wednesday,
October 03, 2001 at 12:08:51 (PDT)
I will indeed be @ Brands this weekend. Don't worry about
the dribble Lizzie, occupational hazard.
Anna has shown definite signs of sanity recently Matt. R U coming
to Brands btw?
Lager, play nicely. The words have to be used without the 'and'.
If you don't want to share, then I want my CD back!
GAP <chillingwithmoneypenny@howtobeabondbabe.com>
Top Secret - Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 09:54:59 (PDT)
you said "log".
i was sick last night . in the kitchen sink, the bog, and the
bin in my bedroom.
BofB <sn@ch>
Where was the land that the Moomins lived? - Wednesday, October
03, 2001 at 09:08:55 (PDT)
Hello one and all. What marvellously amusing banter since
my last post (the message, not the trumpet rememberance day
thingy...).
I don't have any news to report I am afraid. It was just a visit
to while away the hours in the office instead of working out
which contributors go where this weekend and who to pick for
Before They Were Famous this week. I reckon Jason Plato should
be a good bet.
Anna really is a nutcase. I am deeply concerned by his/her emotional
state. There is a lot of cross-gendering here...Lizzie, you
know who you are (said with wa glint in the eye, along the lines
of the "don't tell 'em your name Pike" bit in Dad's Army.
I am very annoyed about Lager's mention of Katherine Legge.
You know I have an extremely large soft spot for her and I would
appreciate it is you clear any future reference to her with
me. Thanks me old Mucker.
PS: Did anyone else have trouble logging on to this site today?
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a problem, sometimes I feel
like my only friend, Is the city I live in - the city of angels...
- Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 07:04:00 (PDT)
A Nottingham student lass, who likes Bond films and has hair
of blonde (coincedentally a strawberry shade of blonde...).
If you're going to Brands this weekend, we -have- to meet. But
I'm going to have to wipe this dribble off my keyboard first...
Alcohol free Lager - the perfect drink, in my current condition...as
long as its Clausthaler and not Kaliber!
Lizzie Luvvie <dopeyromanticforces@work.com>
This could be Rotterdam, or anywhere.... - Tuesday, October
02, 2001 at 15:48:12 (PDT)
.....'strawberry' and 'blonde' is perfectly acceptable.
'Strawberry Blonde™' is not.
Thank you.
Alcohol Free Lager
In front of the pc..........where else? - Tuesday, October 02,
2001 at 11:37:39 (PDT)
Lizzie, in addition to being a rather spiffing Girl About
Paddock, I am a student - university-esque creatures therefore
hold no appeal. Even less so since one of the dozy muppets I
unfortunatley came across at said educational estrablishment
last week nearly knocked my block off playing football in the
middle of the Union. No it wasn't funny so you can all stop
laughing. Right now. Yes Matt, that means you.
Lager - I'm gonna have to fight you for the privilege 'cos the
words I need are definitely 'strawberry' and 'blonde'. You're
just gonna have to deal.
Anna, you're a player - merci.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Hq instructing Money Penny to keep an eye out for Lizzie Luvvie
- Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 11:21:06 (PDT)
Anna, you know how to break a man's heart.
And I was under the impression every woman wanted a student
to have as their own plaything. :s
They lied in the brochure.
Lizzie Luvvie <depressedforces@work.com>
Munching anti-depresants, in the hope that this pain will ebb...
- Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 10:28:25 (PDT)
There is something gay about Arbelist's walk. Discuss. Lizzie
Luvvie - forget it. She's way out of your league. Has anyone
got a copy of Donkey Kong they could email me?
Anna Shacklady
At my desk, fed up with Chuckie Egg - Tuesday, October 02, 2001
at 07:37:23 (PDT)
You don't need a licence to do what I have in mind, GAP.
;)
Lager, you bad Strawberry, you've made me hunger for some ginger
now. I'll have to go shopping. :s
Who owns that website, there then? :p
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Willing myself into being a turbo charger, so that I can be
touched... - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 06:56:15 (PDT)
Woa! Hold it right there. I have exclusive use of the Strawberry
Blonde™ handle round in these here parts.
NOT ginger. Strawberry Blonde™.
GAP, luvin it, luvin it, luvin it as I do, you're gonna have
to seek another handle. Strawberry Blonde™ is mine, all mine,
in the vague that hope that I can vanquish the word "ginger"
unless prefixed by the word "crystallized" or "chocolate".
©Lager 2001
Lager Lager Lager
Getting the antibiotics down........... - Tuesday, October 02,
2001 at 06:09:34 (PDT)
Blonde. Strawberry Blonde. Licensed to ....
GAP
HQ instructing special branch to add another turbo charger to
the Aston Martin - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 04:57:04 (PDT)
Gap's in an exotic secret location. She's blonde.
She -must- be a Bond Girl. I always like them. Oh cruel world,
why'd you put this internet between the two of us...
Psst, anyone else think Anna was either pisht or hungover when
she wrote that last post? :p
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Jabbering like a manic in the corner... - Tuesday, October 02,
2001 at 04:17:24 (PDT)
Works every time Lizzie ;)
What do you mean what am I on with (I think that's the translation
anyway)Anna? I'm blonde aren't I? Consider the lady of mystery
bit artistic licence if you must.
What's to say you haven't been abducted by aliens anyway? Then
again, with you it's difficult to tell...
GAP <working@anexoticsecretlocation>
- Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 01:32:16 (PDT)
Lagermanwassupwithi?'NwassthaonwiGAPlass? Wir Wir Woarr.Madame
Horné(t). Come and sting me with your naughty juice.. Wir. Katherine
Legge. Pulling myself out from underneath. Great deal. Very
very very big deal. Hnnng.
Anna Shacklady
tending my wounds - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 00:58:43 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 00:52:59
(PDT)
Mystery blonde? Female?
Playing hard to get.
Now I'm smitten...
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
- Monday, October 01, 2001 at 16:38:55 (PDT)
In order to preserve my image as a mystery blonde type, I
couldn't possibly comment Lizzie Luvvie.
GAP <onmywayoutofthedoor@asecretlocation.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, October 01, 2001 at 11:17:35
(PDT)
Are you a Notts lass then GAP?
Whereabouts in Robin Hood County are you?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@worl.com>
Doon road, like... - Monday, October 01, 2001 at 10:43:48 (PDT)
Ah, but if I spilled the beans it wouldn't be a surprise
would it now! Besides, I'm too embarassed to admit my part in
this. It'll ruin my image.
Anna is alive and well - well she was on Friday, not heard from
her since? I think she might have been abducted by aliens...
GAP <justabout
togoout@nottinghamcity.com>
Keeping an eye out for Monkeybuns - Monday, October 01, 2001
at 10:10:10 (PDT)
Forgot to hook up my comp with my hi-fi, after lending houseymate
a lead...
Now its working a lot better!!
Pointless and stupid. I love it. :D
Lizzie Luvvie <doinkforces@work.com>
In shame... - Monday, October 01, 2001 at 06:30:42 (PDT)
You need your woofers and tweeters plugged up.................
Lager
- Monday, October 01, 2001 at 06:23:07 (PDT)
I think we were all waiting for GAP to spill the beans, but
it didn't happen...and doesn't look like it will. Ah well. :(
I clicked on the link and got a grainy image of a Ferrari F1
car. Have I done soemthing wrong?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
The cat in the hat. - Monday, October 01, 2001 at 06:16:41 (PDT)
I really hate it when a post becomes a conversation stopper
- I am guilty and I apologise unreservedly. I am ashamed.
Where's Anna? Behind closed doors, hammering out a deal with
lovely, lovely Katherine Legge, I have no doubt........
Click on the website that I have posted here - it is silly,
juvenile and pointless, so there are three good reasons why
I giggled a lot and why it should appeal to all who post on
here.....
And lovely Rob Barrf. Lovely, lovely Rob Barrf. Switching to
a teammate who can see dark coloured flags in the dark.
Carrots.
Lager
Here again............... - Monday, October 01, 2001 at 04:40:57
(PDT)
Nope. Give up. You're gonna have to tell me and warn me in
advance.
There is so much High Jinx being planned for Brands Hatch, I
am finding it all quite perplexing. I fear every corner turned
will be harbouring a new whoopee cushion.....
I refer teh honourable GAP to the e-mail address submitted some
moments ago to "Classic". It worked.
Foxed Lager <@homebeingfoxed>
Somewhere foxy....... - Friday, September 28, 2001 at 04:19:10
(PDT)
I don't want to wander round Lager's parts tho!! :(
No offence lightly-bubbling-blonde-beer dude, you knows how
it is...
Lizzie Luvvie <scaryimageryinbr@in.com>
Running!! - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 17:36:47 (PDT)
Lager - no, no, no!! Think about it! Or I could just tell
you - don't u wanna borrow it in order to embarass one of Anna's
lot @ Brands?
GAP <@homenjoyingfoxinglager>
- Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 13:37:53 (PDT)
Be not afraid, Ma'am.
What seems to be the problem....?
Super Lager <changing@thephonebox>
Cloaked & ready to save the world........... - Thursday, September
27, 2001 at 10:51:09 (PDT)
Quote: "I'm fairly unintelligent (studenty type!), does this
qualify me for having a wander round GAP's parts?"
Again, I did say 'these parts' and as it's Lager's guestbook...well
you can work it out for yourself I'm sure.
Speaking of whom, Lager I heard you might need to rescue me
@ Brands Hatch? Quite apart from the fact it's been suggested
I have my b-day party in the Kentagon (which would be a cause
for a rescue effort on it's own) I'll leave you to figure it
out...
GAP
- Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 09:32:48 (PDT)
Oh please do. I've got money. I will pay. :p
Lizzie Luvvie <darkdarkforces@work.com>
On the Other Side. Breathing inadequacies into the void. - Thursday,
September 27, 2001 at 08:13:15 (PDT)
I shan't tell you all about the text message Lager sent me
when I posted that I was eating humble pie!!!!!!
Matt James <r@tingonlager>
In the orifice - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 04:03:55 (PDT)
Good boy! I still love you, Uncle Bloke xxx
Maxie Little Bird <Toddler@home.com>
Passing Uncle Bloke some custard to go with his humble pie -
Wednesday, September 26, 2001 at 10:11:36 (PDT)
MATT JAMES - A RETRACTION:
I must apologise, particularly to little Maxie, about my last
posting. I don't know what came over me. Those weren't my best
chat-up lines, as had been suggested, for if they were I would
probably still be a virgin. Anyhow, it was beneath the usual
standard of postings on this site and was crude. I offer my
unreserved apologies and only hope you could all find it in
you heart to let me back into your little gang.
MATT JAMES
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Eating humble pie... - Wednesday, September 26, 2001 at 03:02:51
(PDT)
Just a pitiful attempt to reach minor cult status by being
poster 3000, I'm afraid.
Do you think it would be acceptable to put this achievement
down on my CV? Do future employers recognise alanhydefanzone.co.uk/ahfz/guestbook.php
as a verifiable referee?
Lizzie Luvvie <dumbforces@work.com>
Shameless land - Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 19:15:40 (PDT)
WOO-HOO! I'm 2999! Good luck next viewer! Oh and now I'm
on line at home so give me a shout for the email address.
Steve Wah <Amazed@the.technology>
At home infont of 15" of coloured beauty! - Tuesday, September
25, 2001 at 09:54:23 (PDT)
Maybee that should say lager?
Arblist <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 15:18:49
(PDT)
Larger, go have a look at http://graffiti.virgin.net/phil.earles/index.htm
NO ONE ELSE CAN LOOK! SO DONT GO THERE.
Arblist
<somebody@somewhere.com>
Waiting for the comments....@ home. - Monday, September 24,
2001 at 15:17:18 (PDT)
I'm fairly unintelligent (studenty type!), does this qualify
me for having a wander round GAP's parts?
As for brilliant chat up lines; I was in town today when it
started raining. My housemate and I pelted to the nearest large
door way to shelter. A girl did the exact same thing just after.
Not wishing to miss an opportunity, I turn to her and say 'Sooo,
do you shelter here often?'.
It got a laugh, but not a phone number :(
Lizzie Luvvie <vomitingforces@work.com>
Chillin'. Listening to Iggy Pop. Eating. HEAVEN. - Monday, September
24, 2001 at 13:02:54 (PDT)
GAP Quote: "Dispairing at the sorry lack of intelligent males
around these parts".
So there you have it.
I thought the standard of postings was actually going up quite
a lot of late....
Lager
Vote for the skirt - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 12:32:44
(PDT)
Lager, I don't believe I mentioned anything about my parts.
You didn't by any chance help Matt to compose that list did
you?
GAP <still@donny2morrow>
Wondering at the falling standards on this guestbook... - Monday,
September 24, 2001 at 12:13:48 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 11:55:18
(PDT)
What are you saying GAP? That you wouldn't despair if there
were unintelligent males around your parts?
Lager
- Monday, September 24, 2001 at 11:40:54 (PDT)
If they are your best 1 liners Matt, it's no wonder you need
that doll of a few weeks back.
GAP <girlaboutpaddock@donington2morrow>
Dispairing at the sorry lack of intelligent males around these
parts - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 11:20:24 (PDT)
Uncle Bloke, I think you're very rude considering the age
of the youngest reader of this page (I'm only 2-and-a-half,
remember?). Say sorry ... NOW!
Maxie Little Bird <Toddler@home.com>
Using Mummy's computer while she's not looking ... - Monday,
September 24, 2001 at 10:50:15 (PDT)
Let me respond to your survey with answers that I would give
if your comments were made to me:
A) Show me your tackle and give me a laugh first
B) Only if you're buying
C) You actually know some intelligent people? Oh, sorry, I thought
you said boffin!
D) You mean I don't on other days?
E) You're face is a bit ropey but I can change my hair!
F) You mean I usually look fat?
G) As opposed to what?
H) I'd rather you didn't, this outfit was expensive
Hope this helps your research
JW
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Laughing my head off at MJ's alleged wit and wisdom - Monday,
September 24, 2001 at 10:44:46 (PDT)
Could I ask the females who log on to this website their
opinions on the following comments, with 10 being the most popular
and 1 the least popular. This is interesting research for blokes.
a) get your tits out for the lads
b) fancy a drink, love
c) I say, would you like to come to my abode for some boffing
d) you look nice today
e) I must say your new haircut is a bit ropey
f) Have you lost wieght
g) Do you want a bit
h) would you mind if I ripped the back out of you?
Thanks for your co-operation...
MJ
Matt James <researching@themoment>
under the moon - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 08:02:12 (PDT)
Mr James,
I feel love for the world. There is a Greater Being of Motor
Sport who indeed smiled upon Corby on Saturday, (but teased
us along a bit on Thrusday and Friday............).
Thursday and Friday were very difficult days fro everynone,
but I am afraid I rather let the side down on Saturday. Maybe
as a result of the build up and disappointments of Thursday
and Friday, but when we "went green" on Saturday I blubbed like
a baby.
I was close to doing the same when I was given the honour of
hosting the presentations after the race on behalf of CART..........I
truly felt privelieged.
Those cars are amazing - and so are the people from CART.
Mattie, you would have had big fever.
And "Classic" - try this one: lager@studio22.co.uk
Lager <champcars@rockingham!>
At home at last................. - Monday, September 24, 2001
at 04:32:43 (PDT)
I do apologise about the quality of my last posting. Before
lager says it, I know it was immature and he would expect better
from someone with my posting background. Anyhow, lets have some
reflections on Rockingham then...any good?
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Anywhere but rockers - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 01:23:25
(PDT)
Enter your comments here...
S <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, September 24, 2001 at 01:21:34
(PDT)
Where is Al he hasn't posted for months.
phil bettany
- Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 13:00:21 (PDT)
Viewer Number 2940 reporting for duty. SIR!
David Bardwell-Dix <Amazed@the.numbers>
Stranded at the drive in - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 10:29:44
(PDT)
no cd out just bit of bizniz. sorry to dissappoint :(
fizzi <fizzi@fizbiz.com>
fizworld - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 06:41:36 (PDT)
We are nearly at 3000 hits! Mega
Matt James
<matt.james@haynet.com>
Down in the tube station at midnight then rushing home to hear
Collins's show - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 05:41:27 (PDT)
CD? Have you got a CD out then? ;P
fizzi...as in Where's the Scotch Fizzi?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Somewhere in the North. Not eating lard sarnies, but have consented
to viewing whippets... - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 05:39:51
(PDT)
I am on top of the great man...what an honour. Could someone
post the practice times fro Rockers? Thanks. I am Paul Tracy
and I will win.
Matt James
<at@at>
On top of the world... - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 05:34:37
(PDT)
hi! post as promised! cd great, am in yr debt....is there
an email address u could donate?
classic <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 06:55:50
(PDT)
Alan, your work, once again is outstanding, considering some
of the shoddy material on offer.Thanking you most sincerely....
am I merely one in a string of lovestruck adoring fans?
fizzi <fizzi@gettinbizzi.com>
bizznizz - Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 06:54:07 (PDT)
free texting
katleigh <kay@hotmail.com>
london - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 12:26:35 (PDT)
I'm quite sure I don't know what either of you mean. Quite
appalling suggestions. Whatever can the matter be....
Rache - I've never struck anything up on a pretty blonde dolly.
Our hearts go out to you.
And welcome, welcome, welcome, to lovely Rob Barrf. I had no
idea he was a regular visitor. Lovely, lovely Rob Barrf. Who
never gets interviewed enough because his other half talks too
much. Welcome.
Lovely.
Lager <K@Iworshipyou>
At the Michelin garage - Monday, September 17, 2001 at 12:33:38
(PDT)
El Presedente, while the nipple reference was made I was
standing a mere 10 feet from you. You ignored me. Not impressed.
At all. Not even a little bit. But Lager was quite right, she
did look very cold.
Arblest <somebody@somewhere.com>
Brands Hatch, Castle Combe, Mallory Park, all in the space of
24Hrs!! - Monday, September 17, 2001 at 11:47:26 (PDT)
I am not happy with PowerTour this weekend, having produced
the most turgid old shit that I have seen in many a long year.
Lager's subtle references to stiff nipples will be remembered
for many a long year while people chuckled!
matty
Matt James <BrandsH@tch>
Down in the tubestation at midnight - Monday, September 17,
2001 at 09:47:44 (PDT)
Alan...they are Ozzies are they not, therefore strike up
the barbie and throw some shrimps on!! They will be staying
with the ten-tenths crew or they will be deflated for safety
during the night, to be revived for raceday. I feel like shipping
a few more in for extra support for Hyla!!!
Rache <kangas@rache.co.uk>
Norwich - Monday, September 17, 2001 at 06:18:33 (PDT)
sorry about the Previous post pressed enter by mistake anyway
its Donington this weekend who's coming
phil bettany
- Monday, September 17, 2001 at 03:27:35 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
phil Bettany
at college using the Computer. - Monday, September 17, 2001
at 03:26:25 (PDT)
Might have done.......but I didn't know it at the time I
asked the question!
Now the roos. Have they got somewhere to stay for Brands? I
don't mind having them here with me, but I'll need to know in
advance if they have any special dietary requirements. Just
let me know, and I'll be able to show them a good South London
night out.
They'd be so much better if they had authentic pouches, you
know.
Lager <K@iswonderful>
That's for you to find out, in the great competition... - Monday,
September 17, 2001 at 02:35:16 (PDT)
Alan I understand you gave me a mention when interviewing
Barbara Armstrong at Brands Hatch on Sunday! Shame you didn't
mention Hyla's kangaroos aswell!!! They will be at Brands in
a few weeks' time waiting for ya!
Rache <kangaroos@rache.co.uk>
Norwich - Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 16:25:38 (PDT)
You need to stop working at Tango HQ, Jules. :p
Always look to the future with hope. :)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@play.com>
Sobering up in liquid Arabican caffeine. MMmm, that heady aroma.
- Saturday, September 15, 2001 at 04:41:35 (PDT)
Thank you for your supportive comments, people. Some on here
will understand this: my boss is an orange ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Looking into the future with hope - Friday, September 14, 2001
at 15:57:44 (PDT)
I've heard of some kinky sex games involving holes in walls
and that, but a letter box?
Thats depraved stuff, dudes.
I can only say: Well done. :D
Jules: Don't be pissed off at work, come swim with me in liquor
of the godesses and let your brain swim in freedom.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Just finished work - gazing into sweet amber nectar from the
Highlands and contemplating elephants running on the ceiling.
- Friday, September 14, 2001 at 12:55:20 (PDT)
Not guilty, ma Lady. I'm trying to work out the identity
of the last posting post, but I must confess, I'm struggling......
That's wrong isn't it.....that's Lady Penelope. Pink Roller
and Parker. Sorry....mistaken identity!
Lager
At home too........... - Friday, September 14, 2001 at 11:50:11
(PDT)
Well, Lager, what HAVE you been up to, you naughty boy?!
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Lounging@home>
Sleepily reading Harpers ... - Friday, September 14, 2001 at
10:11:35 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
what a great site for a national broadcasting hero! alan - the
other night was just fantastic, can't wait to repeat the xperience
soon.... waiting by the postbox daily..... x
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, September 14, 2001 at 09:08:36
(PDT)
Thanks, GAP. Letter of resignation to be handed over on Monday
...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Not quite so pissed off at work ... - Friday, September 14,
2001 at 05:04:28 (PDT)
Jules; if I were you I'd tell your boss that she'll be wearing
that rum & coke unless you get a little more respect! 'Nuff
said.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, September 13, 2001 at 14:43:20
(PDT)
ANYONE from Hollyoaks works well for me.
Lager
- Thursday, September 13, 2001 at 13:51:55 (PDT)
Gerri from Hollyoak's works well for me! ;)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Bathing in fantasies of blonde vixens... - Thursday, September
13, 2001 at 12:33:06 (PDT)
Actually, it was MY fault. I started the talk about the attack
by asking people to join me in expressing sympathy, etc. Sorry,
was just trying to be ... um ... words fail me. Forget it, having
a bad day, large rum and coke for me, please. Oh, and Matt?
In answer to your question, none of them! I nominate a power-crazy,
trouser-wearing neo-Nazi bitch boss who's idea of good man management
is to shout at you like you're a child in front of all your
colleagues for something that wasn't even your fault! I hope
to be happier by my next posting. Goodbye.
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Pissed off at work ... - Thursday, September 13, 2001 at 09:12:11
(PDT)
CAN we please stop wtalking about the disaster in America.
I shouldn't have started it. Sorry. This is a happy place for
happy things....
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Under the moon of love - Thursday, September 13, 2001 at 08:22:04
(PDT)
A filthy woman - that's the closest i can get to a good bad
woman. Hope this helps, Matt. As for your comments below, I
couldn't agree with you more. What happened was atrocious, catastrophic,
but, I fear, had probably been coming for quite some time. While
it shocked - for it took an awful lot of believing watching
it on TV - it did not surprise. What a self-destructive race
we are. Sadly, we're probably going to get an even greater dose
of this as the allies prepare to retaliate. I also agree with
Al - every bloody word, my friend.
Carl McK.
sharpening my flint - Thursday, September 13, 2001 at 07:46:17
(PDT)
A dilemma. Which is better?
a) A bad bad woman
b) A bad good woman
c) A good good woman
d) A good bad woman
e) Ian McKellar Junior
f) Rolf Harris
g) Gideon Cresswell
h) Gerri from Hollyoaks
I would appreciate your views....
Matt James <fish@hatstand.radiator>
Tucked up in bed with a good woman.. - Thursday, September 13,
2001 at 01:42:11 (PDT)
I totally agree with the views of Mr James. The acts of terrorism
in the States are terrable but its the loss of the true innocent
lives that hurts the world the most. Alot has been said about
a 'Pearl Harbour' this is not a real reflection of the situation.
In my mind it is closer to the 'Bay of Pigs Missile Crisis'.
Being that they don't really want to kick off WW3, but have
to show that they can do something about this tragic corner
they have been forced into.
Steve Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Keep using this site... no matter where we end up. - Thursday,
September 13, 2001 at 01:02:13 (PDT)
Dear all,
Sorry to sound so cold-hearted, but, while I am deeply sorry
for all those who lost their lives in the USA yesterday, but
I have to think that the problems yesterday were partly the
country's own fault.
The amount of unfounded rumours which the USA has acted on and
hurt people of other nations is incredible. They went to cure
human rights problems in Iraq? Stuff and nonesense, they wanted
to guarantee cheap fuel...
The President's reaction to the bomb was to talk of the country's
"innocence" and its "shining beacon of democracy". It is this
attitude towards itself which causes most of the problems. The
USA is not whiter than white, but the people who suffered were.
That is the worst paradox of all.
Matt James <stunned@thetelevision>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, September 12, 2001 at 02:21:59
(PDT)
It is truly horrific news, and I am very sad.
It makes me realise that sometimes the world can be horribly
wicked and evil.
It also makes me realise the value of every smile that we have,
and every happy moment that we share and enjoy with the people
that we love.
I don't think that there can ever be any justice for something
as awful as this.
I love all of my friends very much, and thank you for being
my friends.
Lager
- Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 17:21:45 (PDT)
Fe real, Jules. Can't agree with you more.
I only hope that the power of America does use justice and not
vengeance.
Lizzie Luvvie
- Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 16:08:39 (PDT)
Please join me in sending heartfelt condolences and sympathy
to those who have suffered by today's terrible tragedies in
Manhattan and Washington. I hope that the perpetrators are brought
speedily to justice.
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Deeply distressed by events ... - Tuesday, September 11, 2001
at 15:17:29 (PDT)
Actually, GAP, I am in agreement with you. Casually dropping
in is so working-class! Mr Hyde, thank you so much for your
advice. I couldn't find anything suitable anyway so I have borrowed
a little number from a friend. I just hope that the designer
doesn't miss it from his collection before I can return it for
her!
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Do
I have to tell?>
At home with a bottle of Bolly - Tuesday, September 11, 2001
at 10:21:35 (PDT)
Lady PP - don't go over the top with the clothes, mate, Arbelist
is quite "casual" in his dress, you know......
Not that I mean he wears dresses or anything like that, you
understand. Not as far as I am aware, anyway.....
Lager <H@e
is such a strong word, Anna. Sit upon my knee and tell me all
about it............>
Here, there and everywhere today.......... - Tuesday, September
11, 2001 at 05:45:05 (PDT)
Lady PP - being such a lady of class, I'm sure you'll understand
that not having been issued an invitation, i was slightly wary
of popping in for tea and biscuits. Gatecrashing is so passe
dahling...
GAP <working@home>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 05:33:30
(PDT)
I feel for you, Arbelist, my darling. That was a terrible
slight you suffered at the hands of GAP and she should be more
sensitive to the feelings of others, driver or no driver. Besides,
one should remind one's staff of their place instead of allowing
them to get above themselves. But I digress, GAP's slight is
my gain and so I look forward to meeting you, sweet stranger,
one day.
Lady Penelope Pitstop <shopping@harrods>
Traipsing around womenswear looking for something to wear for
my dinner date with Arbelist ... - Tuesday, September 11, 2001
at 05:09:30 (PDT)
Alan Hyde - you have just made me cry.
Joe Gillis
- Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 04:14:05 (PDT)
I hate the general public
Anna Shacklady
- Tuesday, September 11, 2001 at 02:33:06 (PDT)
Sorry Arblist, one chauffer did pass close to your doors
in the paddock but the other refused on safety grounds (those
being I kept telling him to do wheelies and run the spectators
over...Weeeellll they were blocking my view of Damon Hill's
Arrows and that luscious black convertible Lotus). Anyway, you
were that busy chasing after Lady P you forgot to invite me
for coffee and biscuits :-(
If you ask nicely though, I'll pop in for coffee and biscuits
@ Donny!
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, September 10, 2001 at 14:29:15
(PDT)
haven't posted 4 a bit so iam going 2 NOW hi al hope u r
reading these messages :D
philip Bettany <cannotbearsed@10:10pm>
- Monday, September 10, 2001 at 13:57:49 (PDT)
Lady PP I hope you will be at Donnington, so I can wisk you
away for dinner at an exotic location on the saturday night.
The Photo is on its way and will be posted. On a different matter,
I was upset with GAP over the weekend, she walked straight past
my truck, did not pass go, did not collect £200, did not pop
in for a coffee and bickies, completely blanked me. I AM UPSET!!!
Arblist <inlove@home>
where ever i lay my h@ th@s my home - Monday, September 10,
2001 at 10:52:47 (PDT)
You go there, and you go there, and you - you lick my ****.
A mars bar for the first person answering correctly. A mars
bar up their arse to the person who thinks they know who said
it. Matt James to carry out insertion. And, you, Madame Horné,
how I gazed at you from afar at the weekend and got no work
done. You are lovely, lovely, lovely, and I wish to strip thee
of thine innocence.
Anna Shacklady <M@tJamesweloveyouandGarbotoo>
consoling Daniel Buxton (who still comes up on mobile as T**t)
- Monday, September 10, 2001 at 09:53:52 (PDT)
Diesel fuel in a petrol engine will be a complete strip down.
Petrol fuel in a diesel engine will cause a bit of blackness
out the ole exhaust and I wouldn't rev it too high ether but
you may just get away with it. Oh sh1t was that a suttle message,
perhaps in code?
Foot in mouth all over again.
David Bardwell-Dix <Mechanical
Mayhem!>
Reading a Haynes Manual - Monday, September 10, 2001 at 09:12:25
(PDT)
Matt, that was a pathetic attempt to steal my limelight!
You'll just have to try harder in next week's 'Where's Lager?'
installment.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Just back from my second tour of the paddock - Monday, September
10, 2001 at 07:29:25 (PDT)
All this excitement that I have missed whilst watching the
gee gees at Blenheim, and the brum brums at Silverstone........
And Madame, cast aside the evils of the Lager. Bottles only,
of course.
And Mattie - I was not there. It Wasn't Me. I Swear. And other
classic songs of denial by ma ragga mates.
Diesel in an unleaded tank. Vote for the skirt.
Lager <somebody@nowhere.com>
Home now.............. - Monday, September 10, 2001 at 06:48:45
(PDT)
Arbelist, I am truly flattered by your offer of dinner and
truly sorry that I was unable to accept as I did not espy your
missive until this morning. I could not be at Silverstone due
to family committments but hope to meet up with you in the not
too distant future. Incidentally, whatever happened to that
rather intriguing photograph that you bought?
Lady Penelope Pitstop <slumming.it@clarence.house>
Partaking of lapsang souchong with Great Aunt Elizabeth - Monday,
September 10, 2001 at 05:13:30 (PDT)
It can't be so, GAP, because I reckon I saw Lager in the
large and lazy section of Ann Summers shop at the top of the
Tottenham Court Road at the weekend. I mean my friend saw him
and told me...
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
At the office - Monday, September 10, 2001 at 05:06:53 (PDT)
I'd like to claim my 'Where's Lager' prize for the weekend
'cos I reckon I spotted him in the media centre on Sunday morning...
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Calling my chauffer for another spin around the paddock - Monday,
September 10, 2001 at 01:24:59 (PDT)
Lady PP, I am here, at sunny Silverstone, Helecopter is on
standby (yes really again!) Are you here? Can I take you out
for dinner tonight? Do I send the Chopper to Beachy Head?
Arblist <InLoveWithLadyPP@silverstone>
By the Jaguar bridge, next to Peugeot hostility, in the paddock,
Silverstone. - Saturday, September 08, 2001 at 02:08:03 (PDT)
Strange, bizarre mix of 1950' Ealing dialogue with Shakespearean
undertones for Lady Pitstop there.
Who says the internet's only full of porn?
Note to all men: calling a women 'fatbird' may not help their
self-esteem levels. :p
Lizzie uvvie <darkforces@work.com>
On the inside of a whisky bottle - an amber world is a beautiful
place. - Friday, September 07, 2001 at 16:46:02 (PDT)
DBD and Nixter, ring her, you merciless bounders ... her
heart is breaking and she misses you. Arbelist, Arbelist, wherefore
art thou (with thy helicopter!), Arbelist ...
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Beachy.Head@Fat.bird's.
side>
Trying to comfort the poor dear .... - Friday, September 07,
2001 at 15:25:51 (PDT)
DON'T JUMP F@bird!
David Bardwell-Dix
Holding the bungy net - Friday, September 07, 2001 at 05:52:47
(PDT)
Go on, beachy head is only small, just an ickle jump. Down
down, all the way to my home. Come, join us in the land of warmth
and brother/sister[delete as applicable]hood.
I tried emailing f@tbird.com and got a very nice polite message
back from a fellow demon...doh, daemon I mean :s
Congrats to MJ - bit of a swing from designing Anti-Smoking
posters to becoming chain-smoker of the year tho isn't it.
You'll be joining me down here in the warmth at this rate. 13
carcinogens in every cigarette; I'll book a room for you! :p
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In the fires of Hades, riding on the backs of demons, a sickle
in my hand and a pint in t'other - Thursday, September 06, 2001
at 13:05:26 (PDT)
You abandon me, love don't live here anymore ... I can be
contacted by telephone, e-mail and visited at home ... you know
who you are (MJ excluded 'cos he stays in touch)
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Sitting on Beachy Head looking down into the deep dark abyss
... - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 10:50:57 (PDT)
Formula Renault test at Silverstone: 1, Heikki Kovalainen
(Fortec), 1m19.595s (fastest ever FR lap at Silvers); 2, Mark
McLoughlin (still proddin that bird from wendover) (Motaworld),
1m19.768s; 3, Carl Breeze (Motaworld), 1m19.892s; 4, Richard
Antinucci (Manor), 1m20.089s; 5, Danny Watts (filthy bird) (Falcon),
1m20.154s; 6, Tom Sisley (Motaworld), 1m20.244s. Remember, Matty
J, if Breeze wins this, you'll win another accolade: Stomach
My Own Cheese Rather Than Stomach The Fact He's Won It Award
2001. Mdme Horné, where art thou
Joe Gillis <somebody@somewhere.com>
In the field - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 08:44:51 (PDT)
Didn't win prizes for spelling the words "comminity" (sic)
and "Rollos" (sic) though, did you?
BofB <Can'thidethefactyou'reatw@>
Outraged of Swindon - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 08:04:20
(PDT)
I would like to point out that my achievements in the world
of living have, in fact, been numerous. The Londoner of the
Year accolade goes alongside many others:
Short-trousers Wearer of the Year, 1978
Ticehurst Primary School 100m Champion, 1980
3rd= in the East Sussex Regain Gymnastics Floor Display Competition,
1982
Uplands Comminity College Anti-Smoking Poster Design of the
Year (for which I won a packet of Rollos) 1984
3rd Palmer Trophy for a speech about a trip to Le Mans, 1985
Kipper tie of the Decade, Uplands Comminuty College, 1990
Sebastian Mordillo Hangover of the Year award, 1990
Services to Smirnoff, New Years Honours, 1993
The Benson and Hedges Chain Smoker of the Year, 1995
Londoner ot the Year, 2000
SO THERE!!!
matt james <stunned@theimplications>
Under the boardwalk - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 07:55:03
(PDT)
I'm almost speechless! Well done Matty. For a fat, drunken,
beardy knob wrench you do a lot of good work for the environment.
I don't know how you do it. Services to the brewing industry
perhaps?
BofB <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 06:47:35
(PDT)
This is a bit of a shock, so stay seated.
3rd November 2000
Matt James - Londoner of the Year 2000
Congratulations to Matt James, a former temporary employee of
Sutton Council, who won the Sutton Borough Londoner of the Year
Award and is now one of four overall winners in London, winning
the prestigious Londoner of the Year Award - Environment and
Regeneration.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Media Hound <somebody@somewhere.com>
Doghouse - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 05:21:41 (PDT)
Currently taking bets on Carl Breeze becoming Formula Renault
champion this weekend. Any takers?
Joe Gillis <bull@slags.slurry.com>
Just turned up in Munich for the match. Seem to be first one
here. - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 02:32:16 (PDT)
This compeition I must see - will be waiting for a giggle
... go Lager!!
Tracey <at
home>
- Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 12:37:09 (PDT)
Alan if you read this before Silverstone please give Skippy
and Dano a mention during the Lotus Sport Elise race, they are
a couple of metre high kangaroos who come out in force to support
Lotus Sport frontrunner HYLA BREESE.....Please give them a mention
so Hyla's parents listening on TOCA Radio in Perth can hear!!!!
Thanks
Rache (www.hylabreese.co.uk webmistress)
Rache <rache@racewinner.co.uk>
Norwich - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 12:28:19 (PDT)
Just realised T-shirt Lager doesn't have the same lyrically
rhyme to it al the other 'quests' have, so if I put a tear in
the t-shirt and subsequently call it Tear's Lager, would it
be better.
Not as stupid as I look!
Lizie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
The dark is creeping up on my curtains. Maybe it will accept
me. - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 12:06:49 (PDT)
I don't have any flares. I'm post-1970 and have never felt
the desire to trawl thru Oxfam in the hope of finding some mis-shapen
jeans.
As a special consideration, will a Peugeot (Other car manufacturers
are available;) T-shirt do?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Looking past my curtains at the world outside. I won't accept
-it-. And it doesn't accept me. - Wednesday, September 05, 2001
at 12:03:36 (PDT)
I'm sorry I won't be able to show my flares as they are being
used by Simon LeBon on his ickle boat Drum at the moment. Then
they are being used by Mark Thatcher on a trip to Saudi Arabia.
David Bardwell-Dix <In.my.fl@.>
Some girls will, oooooh, Some girls won't...... - Wednesday,
September 05, 2001 at 07:12:39 (PDT)
Silverstone BTCC is quickly approaching which means it must
be time for more Lager-shaped mayhem in the pit-lane and paddock
of the Northants circuit.
Just to clear up a wee (bit of confusion). Where's , Scare and
Dare Lager are all running concurrently, which means that you
win some dried fruit with a criminal bent by succeeding in said
competitions. Good luck on those from the Absolutely No Control
Panel.
This week's quest is entitled "Flares Lager". Players must bring
their must outrageous pair of 1970s legwear to Silverstone and
encourage Britain's best-loved motorsport talky person to slip
into them (the trousers, not the player).
The more spangly bits the better, though width of flare must
be within TOCA regulations.
Usual competition rules apply. Any similarity to any person
living or dead is entirely coincidental. So there.
BofB <p@butcher>
Six Feet High And Rising - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at
06:01:46 (PDT)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I would just like to say how sorry
I was to hear of the loss of Uncle Ken. There goes another fine
chap to the great race track in the sky.
Burti get well soon old chap and try some Red Bull as you might
be able to give the car some new wings.
David Bardwell-Dix <Last.night@the.lost.and.found>
Lost sheep pen on the edge of Dartmoor - Monday, September 03,
2001 at 04:29:40 (PDT)
I want to claim my prize for the Where's Lager competition
this week. No sooner had I slipped through the gates at Thruxton,
eagerly awaiting my first interface of the weekend with Enid,
than I came across Emma and Lager, so to speak. I have since
consulted with the Where's Lager competitions panel (ie: Matt
Burt, BoB) and discover that there is no prize. I was hoping
it would be a puncture repair kit that I could pass on to any
good friends who might need it. It is Lager, you see, he's burst
his rubber again....bless him. Joons is ELMS champion and I
need a new box of tissues
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In the office - Monday, September 03, 2001 at 02:07:28 (PDT)
Are we still playing Where's Lager. Spotted a suspiciously
familiar Lagery type stacnding nonchalantly against the pit
wall during Charlie Cox's Sprint Race pit-walk.
He looked seriously busy... :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Coming down from One Big Sunday. - Sunday, September 02, 2001
at 11:04:04 (PDT)
Och, you need to watch that slobber, Monkeybuns. Could be
embarrasing in public places...
Ohh, Horny is it? As in 'I'm horny...horny, horny, horny? Whatever
floats your boat.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Bello-Russe border. Back of a transporter at dawn. Entering
Russia. - Friday, August 31, 2001 at 17:24:02 (PDT)
Lager. Yes. Itr really is her. I can't even type peopertly.,
just thigfnking of hertf andh the other oen we havebetween us
mentioned. Ye Goddesses. And izzie luvvie, luvvie, Ithoink you8'll
find it's pron oujnced Horn-ey (but i've not got an e with an
accent on my keryhuboard)P o0h shne does tghis tghing to litlle
me ., Lagefr, forgive me fopr what i have dpone and the wicked
thought s that have rushed through my mind.. .
Zlippy MNonkembrums
Mopping up - Friday, August 31, 2001 at 09:54:01 (PDT)
Two kinds of brothel?!?!?!? :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
America, some time back, some kind of grassy knoll... - Thursday,
August 30, 2001 at 12:53:25 (PDT)
Nagoya has been successfully negotiated. Plenty of stories
to tell, from the bit about the Chinese massage in the back
streets of Yokkaichi to the bird from Isreal who was selling
necklaces in the street who gave us her number. Red light district
- more like red light town! Karaoke bars, hostess clubs and
two kinds of brothels apparently. I wouldn't know. I was just
told. I am exhausted and empty now I have returned. Not that
I got involved, that is just the way my emotions are, you understand.
!2,200 miles is a long way to go for half a racing lap. Bloody
Marcos engines. Horrah for TVR. Baggers
Matt James <empty@themoment>
IN the offlice - Thursday, August 30, 2001 at 03:39:41 (PDT)
Madame,
I barely the words. In fact, I don't have the words.
Is it really you? Barely can I control myself.........
We are not worthy, oh Wondrous Goddess.
Lager <amazed
@ the high standard of visitors>
Pug showroom - Thursday, August 30, 2001 at 03:13:09 (PDT)
Madame Horne (is that spelt right?) are you implying some
'liasione sexuelle' between myself and the One known as Lager?
He's a top bloke and all that but I would have to put your mind
at rest and say, maybe! ;)
There is racing at Thruxton: PowerTour 2001, but if you're anywhere
near me, its a bit far away :( Silverstone is what we have to
look forward to, unless Matty James is distributing polaroids
from Nagoya about in the meantime...
Lizzie Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
Jiggin' wi de live rrrraagga blaring out down di street - Wednesday,
August 29, 2001 at 12:05:57 (PDT)
Shame on you Zippy, out manouvered by a fluffy 'ickle kitten...
Why would Madame be wishing to avoid hunky racing drivers??
Strange lady.
Speaking of racing, who's going to S/Stone next weekend?
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 07:33:25
(PDT)
Madame Horne (and please pronounce it properly, can't find
the key ...) is most perturbed this morning; she is highly confused
as to the identity of one so-called 'Lager' and Lizzie Luvey
... is there something going on there we should know about ...
well, well, no racing this weekend and what is a girl to do.
No hunky racing drivers to avoid, no 'broadcast journalists'
to lust over, nay, not even one journo to do some work on ...
will have to put my mind to other uses like tree-stalking and
charming those little things out of their holes. ho hum ...
Madame Horne <rampant
lady@anyplace you fancy.com>
on the top of a spiky bit - Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 07:13:25
(PDT)
Don't know if anyone heard XFM yesterday teatime. This chappie
goes on to do a quick-fire pop quiz. He's asked his name: "James
Kent". DJ replies. "There's no need for language like that.
Right here we go. Before we do, just remind us of your surname
again." "C*nt," replied the guest. Stunned silence for about
eight seconds. DJ: "I think that one backfired on me a bit didn't
it." Lager, you're a DJ. Just warning you of what can happen.
What's this about your new pyjamas? Viva Sheep On Drugs and
Gay Bikers On Acid.
Zippy Monkeynunbs
in from the corn field having spent three hours looking for
my b*stard kitten who then popped up in a tunnel through which
a stream normally runs but it's been hot so doesn't any more.
He's grounded. Period. - Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 02:32:51
(PDT)
I think Nagoya's claimed Matty as their own, and won't let
them out till their mastercard or Visa has run out :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Just pootling down the A50 - look, no hands! - Tuesday, August
28, 2001 at 12:33:05 (PDT)
I'm sorry that I didn't see the Challenge until today - I
had left before BofB (is that like Bod or Pob?) posted the challenge.
It would have been weekend to scare Lager then, seeing as how
Lager was ignorant of the details......
Terry Grant took that award by the way. For a ten pound bet
he ran over my foot yesterday. Fully. Ouch. He knows the price
that he must pay.
And legends of another sort on the Guestbook - legends of GT
Racing having a wizzy time over in Nippon Land! Boy, we're not
jealous at all! Great to see new icons of the sport enjoying
the ways of the GB Massive!
Any danger of a result being posted - or have you all already
been sucked in by the alternative lures.
Quick Lager update - ASCAR give all their drivers nicknames.
We came to interview Colin Blower. He was unaware of the handle
he had been given, so he decided to suggest on mic that "B**w
Job" was the most appropriate....
Commentator Keith Hewen then refererred to him all day as "BJ".
At the end of the day, Lager interviewed "BJ" and suggested
his earlier comment might well stick with him....
"I know, I wish I hadn't said it now! It was just a spur of
the moment thing!".
"Just a slip of the tongue then...." said Lager.
Lager <no.voice@all.today.co.uk>
Feels like home......... - Tuesday, August 28, 2001 at 04:50:43
(PDT)
Didn't ask about late entries - one for Silverstone all ready
then.
Who needs Japan when you can get sun burned at Oulton, get out
of your tree and not remember most of it in the morning?
Schizophrenic Pirate DJ's Forever!
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Between here. IN the gloaming light that lets you know things
went a bit awry in the night. - Sunday, August 26, 2001 at 16:05:42
(PDT)
What a place! Japan's MEGA! For those of you that haven't
been out here, it's just fantastic! Allez Joons!
Rob Barff <somebody@somewhere.com>
Chez Rollcentre at Suzuka (with Matt James!) - Saturday, August
25, 2001 at 18:24:33 (PDT)
I am in flucking Japan,waiting for the start of the 1,000ks.
Much better than being at Flucking Oulton Park.TVR is 19th,
Joons is 8th, Viper (Devlin, Watson and Lister) is 6th. Nice
flucking girls and weather! Glad I am not with you. See you
Tuesday, if Joons and I don't get swallowed up in the red light
district of Nagoya on the way home!
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Hospitality chez Rollcentre - Saturday, August 25, 2001 at 18:20:29
(PDT)
I dare lager to let Emms play "who let the dogs out" or "Profesional
Widow" for the AA.com grid girls on sunday.
Arblist
@home - Friday, August 24, 2001 at 16:24:15 (PDT)
If Larger is partial to "late entries" feel free to make
one
BofB <asm@tteringofapplause>
Body - Middlesex. Mind - numb - Friday, August 24, 2001 at 09:07:37
(PDT)
I never got chance to play Scare Lager, would it be all right
if I submit a late entry, plus do Dare Lager this weekend as
well?
Do the rules allow for late entries?
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Somewhere in the middle of the largest jam possible on the M1
- why's everyone on the bit -I- want to be on? - Friday, August
24, 2001 at 08:34:33 (PDT)
Following the resounding success of "Where's Lager" and "Scare
Lager", this week sees the debut of a radical new interactive
game/stroke/challenge, entitled "Dare Lager".
This new concept involves giving the talky fellow a stern task
which he must complete, such as shouting the word "antelope"
live, on air, at Oulton Park this weekend. Tee Hee.
Usual competition rules apply. All correspondents will be entered.
(hopefully).
BofB <howl@thefullmoon.co.uk>
Body - Middlesex. Mind - gutter - Friday, August 24, 2001 at
03:17:28 (PDT)
Oulton Formula Renault Test: 1st, McLoughlin, 1m19.404 (107.08mph);
2, Breeze, 1m19.699s; 3, Antinucci, 1m19.968s; 4, Sisley, 1m20.000s;
5, Kovalainen, 1m20.188s; 6, Watts, 1m20.259s. McLoughlin flying
- fastest ever FRen lap around Oulton.
Joe Gillis
in the tree - Thursday, August 23, 2001 at 03:06:27 (PDT)
Just posting to prove that I'm still alive: For the record,
I'm still alive. NOt that you have any way of knowing I'm being
truthful of course. How could you? Can you feel my pulse? Nope,
then you don't -know- I'm alive do you. Maybe I'm a blip in
your conscious creating physical matter for you to talk about/to,
mebbe I'm blathering on. Who knows?
Hey ups Lager - seeya at the weekend, well, I might see you
but whether Messeurs Guinness & Boddingtons allow me to comprehend
your presence is another matter :D
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Sipping Javan coffee on the veranda of my plantation house in
the ke-ribien, watching the sunset on my rum-soaked isle. -
Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 11:15:26 (PDT)
I miss Uncle Bloke! When's he coming back? By the way, Arbelist,
Mummy says the photo will be ready the week after next ... she's
having it enlarged for you!
Maxie Little Bird <Not
telling 'cos I'm a kid>
Playing on Mummy's computer while she's not looking - Wednesday,
August 22, 2001 at 10:35:40 (PDT)
Oulton Clio test: 1, Buxton (nice sister), 1m33.736s (90.71mph);
2, Mullen, 1m33.983s; 3, Byford, 1m33.999s; 4, Templeman, 1m34.333s;
5, Vercoe, 1m34.654s; 6, Rivett, 1m34.837s. Buxton flying -
fastest ever Clio Cup lap around Oulton, faster, most probably,
than all the Production class cars and even some of the BTC
ones
Joe Gillis
in the field - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 08:35:28 (PDT)
Would that mantra be "JOONS IS GOD...JOONS IS GOD...etc.
etc.?" At least he has good taste in racing drivers.
What do you mean, good to hear from me Zippy? I sent you an
email only last week (not that you bothered to reply but hey,
it's the thought that counts). Not going to Oulton, might be
at Silverstone though.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 05:52:48
(PDT)
WELL IF mATT'S IN jAPAN, i'M IN F$@KING SOHO. wHAT'S HE DOIN'
OVER THERE? aND WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME? gOOD TO HERE FROM YOU
gAP. yOU AT OULTON THIS WEEKEND?
zIPPY mONKEYNUBS
- Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 05:14:31 (PDT)
Mattie is in Japan, the smooth old wotsit.
He's keeping up the chant of the old familiar mantra that greets
young gifted Essex GT drivers on each and every lap.
LAger <somebody@somewhere.com>
Still here...... - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 03:47:22 (PDT)
Ooppppsss... Sorry Lager - I forget I'd promised to post
a post! Yes, where is Matt? I distinctly remember sending him
an email and getting no reply. How rude.
Danny Watts is going to win the Formula Renault...maybe.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 03:05:23 (PDT)
Lager. Help. Those. Two. Dirty. Wimin. Are. In. My. Mind.
Again. ps: Rock on Noygella Mansell. John Dalziel to win Formula
Renaults on comback this weekend? Buxton in Clios? Is Matthew
James going? Or is it true that he just doesn't care any more?
I haven't seen him in ages and miss his fag-in-hand ways and
blurred whisky eyes. Please be there, brother Mathieu, so I
might breathe new life into thy flesh and bones.
Zippy Monkeybuns
having naughty thoughts - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 02:53:15
(PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Zippy <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 02:46:30
(PDT)
I'm just a tad worried that everybody seems to have gone
missing. Where is everybody?
Michael sealed up a World Championship at the weekend, and not
even Fish Hatstand Radiator had anything to say on the matter.
Lager
I'm here....where is everybody else?! - Wednesday, August 22,
2001 at 02:30:04 (PDT)
Well I arrived at the paddock on tuesday, and have been looking
out for you all ever since, where are you all? No larger, no
emms, no zippy, no matty, not even a glimpse of monkeybuns!
Hmmm this is not like TOCA at all. Strange little cars, all
naked, no windscreens, funny shaped wings stuck all over the
place. They must be expecting a wet race cos all the tyres have
got grooves in them. what a strange place. Its a bit like Knockhill
here, none of the locals seem to speak english. This must be
a cheep form of motorsport, fancy a motor race with no radio
ststion! Ah just spotted Fish Hatstand Radiator, wonder what
he is doing here? I don't like it here, no radio, no AA.com
girls, just the Marlboro girls in skin tight PVC, its hell on
earth!
Arblist
<looking@everyoneinthepaddock>
inside in air conditioned coolness, while it is 38c outside.
- Friday, August 17, 2001 at 00:37:15 (PDT)
Nubile femalia bodies. Down boy.
Lager - how come you don't bring them to races. I'm thinking
its something personal :p
:o Not hard? You're doing something wrong then!
Have you tried Skegness for sticks of crisp un-stale rock? Aniseed
is my favourite flava. Get us one while you're out there, please
:)
Lizy Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
Pleading with the cat, it won't get up off my mat, it is also
wearing my hat, into which it has sha... - Thursday, August
16, 2001 at 12:42:33 (PDT)
"Be careful, you might say something, you don't want to hear."
Lager, thank you for helping to bring such a heavenly image
of such two fine nubile femalia bodies into my life last evening.
what a squeaky, eye-watering, loving place to be.
Zippy Monkeynubs
Killing my television - Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 02:33:44
(PDT)
I'm scared. Very. Nothing to do with the Eminem bit.
More to do with my search for a stick of crisp, fresh orange
rock.
I've done the peppermint thing. It's old hat, quite frankly.
Two a Penny. But orange is proving difficult.
This summer, I have now purchased a total of three sticks. Each
and every one has been pitifully stale. Soft. Chewy, even.
This scares me a lot.
Lager <Th@s
the best e-mail address to date BoB me old mucker>
Chilled at home - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 14:36:44 (PDT)
How hard can it be to scare Lager?
Packing the chainsaw, blowtorch and scalpels as I type! I'll
make him plead for mercy through his eyes!
Lizy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Behind the eagles in the Arizone sky, gleaning the cacti and
brush for signs of mice, desert rats...lunch! - Wednesday, August
15, 2001 at 12:09:54 (PDT)
"I used to hate the sun, coz it shined on everything I'd
done, made me feel like all that had done, was overfill the
ashtray of my life."
Where's Lager? was so successful at Croft that this week there's
a new competition. This one's called Scare Lager! and it involves
jumping out on the talking one in a manner which makes him shocked.
Perhaps from behind the wall of a pit garage, or by bursting
out of an AA grid girl's false chest when he's doing his pre-race
walkabout. (or even a thong).
Best one could potentially win a cash prize, but seeing as last
week's cash prize has been drunk, don't hold your breath.
Entries to the usual address
Ta ta
BoB <Lovin
it, lovin it, lovin it, lovin it like th@>
Ready 4 My Next Kill - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 11:11:51
(PDT)
when i sleep, i cry in my teeth
Zippy Monkeybuns
losing my mind, grinding my teeth, recovering from one big hoona
moment while left-foot braking for that roundabout and not realising
until i got there that the exit was considerably tighter than
anticipated - Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 01:36:15 (PDT)
Zippy Monkeybuns - you may not come and prod my doughnut,
as I am not an awful woman. In fact, I'm not even a woman...
:s
(The danger of calling yourself Lizzy, eh? Some ppl are unaware
of my baptism, tut tut.)
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Exile: an island in the South Pacific, hiding from the arrows
and dough-nut jammers - Tuesday, August 14, 2001 at 13:45:56
(PDT)
Lizzie Luvvie, don't know who you are, but might I come and
prod your dough nut. It sounds extra special. You awful woman,
you ...
Zippy Monkeynbuns
- Tuesday, August 14, 2001 at 03:47:28 (PDT)
For all those playing Where's Lager, I can confirm that he
did indeed have a Jiffy bag with his nail clippings in. Bizarrely
he had more than his own in, so where the other load came from
I do not know :s
Matt, I've no idea who these other ppl are, but they seem quite
friendly, don't they.
And Zippy Mpnkeybuns has obviously got the right idea with Dawn's
number. (Wibble! Wibble!)
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Inside a do-nut, the sweet sticky part, just past the bit where
your finger always goes thru the dough and into the jam. Next
to your finger now, thats me!! - Monday, August 13, 2001 at
12:44:12 (PDT)
I'd love to stick up for Carl seeing as he's sometimes nice...Well,
when he can be bothered that is. But I've still not forgiven
him for insulting my last press release so I can't! You win
some you lose some.
GAP
Indulging in some retail therapy - Monday, August 13, 2001 at
08:12:49 (PDT)
I have heard a rumour that the AA grid girls have been asked
to wear underwear beneath their lycra suits to prevent any embarrassing
coat-hanging etc incidents. Does anyone know if this is true?
Matt James <finished@last>
at the edge of the world, looking down. - Monday, August 13,
2001 at 07:29:12 (PDT)
I DEMAND to know who all these strange people posting on
the site are. And Carl, PLEASE take a cold shower...you are
one of the most depraved, sad, worrying, perverted, sinful,
shocking and disturbing people I know. Yours in women. Matt
Matt James <Stunned@thecheek>
Your place, or mine? - Monday, August 13, 2001 at 07:25:32 (PDT)
Madame Horné. Might I collapse at thy feet and then worketh
my way up thine devine shape and on towards thy dark vortices
of lust and temptation. Slap me, hard, and maketh go away these
wicked, awful thoughts of mine tortured soul. ps: up the Gills.
pps: Steven Kane will not win the Festival. ppps: Jim Edwards
Jnr deserves a drive at Bathurst. In the best car. And to win.
Joe Gillis
in the bath, picking off the jellyfish - Monday, August 13,
2001 at 04:26:25 (PDT)
Steven Kane is the new God. Trust me. He will win the Formula
Ford Festival and beat all the senior runners. It is true. I
love Ian McKellar Junior, not Carl McKellar Senior. What is
a Dan Eaves - does he belong on the roof of a house? What is
going on? Who am I? What is a car?
Matt James <sitting@mydesk>
Crisis point - Monday, August 13, 2001 at 03:15:30 (PDT)
well, well ... what a delightful weekend at Croft ... and
what a lovely bloke that Carl McKeller is ... and Dan Eaves
.. what's a girl to do when she's spoilt for choice?
Madame Horné
Love Palace - Monday, August 13, 2001 at 02:40:56 (PDT)
Today is truly a day for rejoice and merriment. Jim Edwards
Jnr. Winner. BTCC Production class. Croft. In the wet. After
starting 12th. And hitting the wall on the last lap. The man
is the God of all Genuis and Balls Out Racing. Let us all face
him and kneel ... Dawn McDaniel, if ever you wanted to give
out your mobile phone number, this is the man to give it to.
Zippy Monkeybuns, Anna Shacklady & Joe Gillis
Cloud Nine, Still In Floods Of Tears Of Joy - Monday, August
13, 2001 at 01:43:21 (PDT)
She's in the paddock and I am such awe I the only word I
can blurb out is 'wibble'.
Zippy Monkeynubs
On bended knees in the Croft paddock, all a quiver - Saturday,
August 11, 2001 at 08:02:50 (PDT)
Something keeps happening at my end which means I get two
posts, the second being the appropriate one, the first seems
to miss bits.
I do not know what is going on... :s
Iggy Pop was right 'Everything...Ends!', including my computer
if it carries on like this.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Apology land, where the buffalo roam and I beg forgivenessssss.
- Friday, August 10, 2001 at 10:34:53 (PDT)
My phone cannot do Salvador Dali, no matter how many times
I showed it the pictures and asked politely (tried impolitely,
first time round: phone swore back at me).
However, if its rainy and the wind blows from the East it can
do a brilliant impersonation of Bunuel.
I collect useless items (beer glasses, lighters, beer bottles,
cacti): its a student thing...
Lizzy Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
I'm free-wheeling, riding, riding on a wave of ineptitude into
the abyss. Flames will redeem the soul and I'll be left a pure
skeleton of burning white. - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 10:31:20
(PDT)
My phone cannot do Salvador Dali, no matter how many times
I showed it the pictures and asked politely (tried impolitely,
first time round: phone swore back at me).
However, if its rainy and the wind blows from the East it can
do a brilliant impersonation of Bunuel.
I collect useless items: its a student thing...
Lizzy Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
I'm free-wheeling, riding, riding on a wave of ineptitude into
the abyss. Flames will redeem the soul and I'll be left a pure
skeleton of burning white. - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 10:30:53
(PDT)
That is of course Lager not Larger. I am a mere truck driver
having a diffucult time interfacing with a keyboard. Dangerous
things computers, NO BRAKES!!!!
Arblist <smoking@croft.org>
next to scrotumering, opposite HTML, in the paddock, Knockhill,
not by any gen sets! - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 07:30:23 (PDT)
I have just picked up a few of Largers hairs off the studio
floor. Do I win the competition?
Arblist <smoking@croft.org>
next to JSM in the paddock @ Croft - Friday, August 10, 2001
at 07:25:41 (PDT)
blah blah JOONS blah blah BOOZE blah blah RACING CARS blah
blah BIRDS blah blah JOONS blah blah TITS blah blah EMMA'S BOOTS
blah blah NIKKI AND EMMA SNOGGING blah blah JOONS blah blah
MOTORSPORT blah blah RANDOM WORDS
Matty J <waffle@lager'swebsite>
Under the moon of love - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 05:45:14
(PDT)
Clio times from Croft: 1st, Martin Byford (wot was that you
said about him Mattie!), 1m31.631s; 2, Daniel Buxton (great
sister), 1m31.744s; 3, Duncan Vercoe, 1m31.782s; 4, Marc Nordon
(get a haircut, boy), 1m31.812s; 5, Jason Templeman, 1m31.983s;
6, Paul Rivett (who is great), 1m32.106s; 7, Tim Mullen, 1m32.110s
etc. 11th, Brilliant Bob, 1m32.647s. And it couldn't be closer
...
Joe Gillis
in the field - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 03:52:03 (PDT)
personally, i would have gone for a doggie style
Annie Shacklady
- Friday, August 10, 2001 at 03:45:56 (PDT)
I am missing out. not only do I not get to see fantastic
formula renault stuff, I also miss out on the where's lager
competition. Where is lager? I am confuddled. Is it Monday?
Matt James <sitting@theedge>
on route 66 - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 03:45:32 (PDT)
No no it's OK.
The hair was trimmed yesterday. Well overdue. I asked for a
Doggie Bag, but they said once removed, hair becomes the property
of the salon. I didn't want to get embroiled in some kind of
rights issue, so I signed the clippings over. Without argument.
Nail clippings are easier. I have just bathed, clipped and shaved
in preparation for the North East. I now have a clump of finger
nails, and I'll pop them into a Jiffy Bag.
I thought toenails would be gross, to be honest.
Lager <hairleft@barbers>
Perparing for the North East........ - Friday, August 10, 2001
at 03:30:07 (PDT)
Bugger...
I didn't imagine the Where's Lager? Live roadshow would prove
so popular, and the thought of the fellow dashing about the
Croft pit lane sans toe/finger nails and hair is quite sad.
It's usually quite cold there too. So don't take his actual
toe/finger nails or hair please. When you see Larger, get him
to give you a metaphorical toe/finger nail and/or hair. (No
pubes though)
Ta
BoB <c@tchmeifyoucan>
Warp Factor 10 - Friday, August 10, 2001 at 02:29:59 (PDT)
OOOH scary....your badgers play backgammon too! How about
your telephone, can it also do a good impression of Salvador
Dali, or is that just mine?
And Lager does keep a collection of hair and fingernails although
not his own. Weird really, most of us stick to stamps or copies
of Private Eye.
John Batchelor <john.topgear@ukgateway.net>
Wilmslow, Cheshire - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 19:30:11 (PDT)
Out of interest: does Lager keep a collection of hair and
fingernails with him, or do we have to commit GBH in order to
win this weeks prize?
Just so as I know how long I might be going down for...
John Batchelor: you can do the lycra suit, you can -easily-
cope with this! Its only a little mad (sneeks a peek in the
backroom, where the badgers are playing backgammon and there
are salmon getting high by the fire...)
Lizzy Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
Treading water in Oblivion. - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 12:32:33
(PDT)
Out of interest: does Lager keep a collection of hair and
fingernails with him, or do we have to commit GBH in order to
win this weeks prize?
Just so as I know how long I might be going down for...
John Batchelor: you can do the lycra suit, you can -easily-
cope with this! Its only a little mad
Lizzy Luvvie <Darkforces@work.com>
Treading water in Oblivion. - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 12:31:19
(PDT)
Formula Renault Test Croft: Breeze, 1m18.366s; McLoughlin,
1m18.389; Fairuz, 1m18.459; Antinucci, 1m18.693; Herridge (correct),
1m18.773; Kovalainen, 1m18.773. Half a second covers top 5.
Top 3 all under Kimi's best ever from last year. Clios to follow.
Up the Gills.
Joe Gillis
on location - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 08:28:52 (PDT)
This is a very weird place to be....I'm not sure I'm up to
it. Anyway, I shall be participating with vigour in the "where's
Lager" competition, and hope to secure ownership of that most
sought after of prizes, entry into the Alan Hyde Fan Club. (or
a free Big Mac, I'm not choosy)
John Batchelor (alias)
<john.topgear@ukgateway.net>
Wilmslow Cheshire - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 06:35:20 (PDT)
"She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge"
I'm proud to announce there is a winner in this week's Where's
Lager? competition.
Some eagle-eyed bloke called Lager spotted Lager on page 23
of this week's premier motorsport weekly Motorsport News. Well
done Lager! Let's have a look at what you could've won...
Luckily there's more chances to win Where's Lager? this week
as well, coz he'll be at Croft. There's gonna be a Where's Lager?
Live roadshow - the first person to spot him roving the confines
of the North Yorkshire circuit can win this week's cash prize.
But we're gonna need a sample to prove you actually spotted
him, ie a lock of hair, a fingernail or something. No purchase
necessary, no cash alternative.
BoB <thec@s@onthem@>
Telling complete strangers how lovely they are - Thursday, August
09, 2001 at 03:53:13 (PDT)
Em, book yourself in for a tetanus shot, just in case!
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Telephone rings, I can't be bothered to answer it. Death's calling.
Do you pick up the phone or leave it? - Wednesday, August 08,
2001 at 13:05:51 (PDT)
What can I say? Can't you feel the luuuuuuuuurve on this
site?
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
LTIPMP ... - Wednesday, August 08, 2001 at 12:32:49 (PDT)
Brought that on, not bought that on, you stupid cow. If you're
stuck, I'd be happy to give you private lessons, any time. Up
the Gills. Paul Rivett is great. So is Claire Redgrave. So is
Daniel Buxton's bird. And his siss. As too was his drive at
Snett the other night. As so too was Keith Dempsey's by daylight.
Pure guiness. Class in a glass. But best of all was Lager's
laugh and Em's latexlover tinfoil top. Mr James, was a good
thing you were not there, or you may have done something that
the whole paddock might have come to regret. What exactly, I
don't know, I just had this vision ... Lager knows. ((in Hannibal
voice for effect):I bit deep into the top of her ankle. It sent
a shiver down the back of her calf and into her knee and thigh.
She couldn't ...)
Anna Shacklady
setting up a going-in shot ... - Wednesday, August 08, 2001
at 10:22:02 (PDT)
I forgive ya Matt, sweetie! We all have bad days now and
again.
Dear, dear. Anna has got bitchy recently. Wonder what bought
that on?
GAP
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, August 08, 2001 at 07:52:17
(PDT)
blonde, maybe, but intelligent? come off it GAP. the donkey's
carrot, that is. BoB: you're so right. Coming down is awful.
Coming is great, though. Jules, don't fall into's GAP's trap
(ooer). If you do, you'll find yourself turning into one of
those 'wimmin', a la Milly Tant or whatever she was called in
Viz (great mag,e specially the 0898 ads in the back). Am I confused?
Anna Shacklady
polishing my frenulum with good old fashion spit - Wednesday,
August 08, 2001 at 06:02:52 (PDT)
Girls girls please don't fight! I love you all. GAP, I apologise
but it was one of the very rare blokey time-of-the-month type
things. I was confused and dazed and wandering around in a void
of emptiness, waiting for someone or something to touch my soul
and failing miserably.
Jules, Max is far from a little brat. It would have been far
more accurate to call her a little bird, to which she herself
admits (not bad for someone who is not even three yet! Wonder
who taught her to say that...?).
I wish peace upon this site, and offer my body as an oliver
branch to any female who requires it (the two in question included).
Amen.
MATTY
Matt James <quivering@theendofmybed.com>
Twilight, milky, you get the picture...? - Wednesday, August
08, 2001 at 05:08:26 (PDT)
"You can't dangle the bogus carrot of reconciliation in front
of me while simultaneously riding some other donkey"
Just a quick note to warn/tell everyone that there's a picture
of Lager in this week's issue of the best motorsport publication
in the entire world. (it is on page 23 of Motorsport News too).
A new game has been discussed - it is called Where's Lager?
and it is a bit like Where's Wally?, the entertaining stroke
educational stroke visually stimulating kid's game. Lager will
appear in some form of publication every week from now until
the end of eternity and there's a cash prize for the first person
to "spot him" each week.
He's in MN this week – I spotted him and I wish to claim my
prize. No correspondence will be entered into.
The Beast of Bodmin <desperateforadamngoodseeingto@myplace.com>
Coming down is an awful thing - Wednesday, August 08, 2001 at
05:01:25 (PDT)
"Something in the moonlight catches my eye
The shadow of a lover goes dancing by "
New Zealand <bigbuns@myhouse.co.uk>
onwards and upwards on the wins - Wednesday, August 08, 2001
at 04:49:39 (PDT)
"....there is no such thing as the typical woman (we are
all unique)...."
Too right they're all unique. That's why there ain't a bloke
in the world who can find a universal wiring diagram that works.
They're wired up all wrong. Vive la difference. Vote for the
skirt.
Sparky
Working my way through the loom....... - Wednesday, August 08,
2001 at 04:26:43 (PDT)
Jules- having only the evidence of being brained with a rattle
to go on, then sorry but yes I was referring to your daughter.
Not that there was any need to defend Matt as I did answer his
quesion the first time, but I'm sure she's very nice anyway.
Natural blonde and intelligent - I don't like the 'typical woman'
comments either. But as Matt was no doubt not at all serious,
neither was I...
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Wondering if it's too early for another cup of coffee - Wednesday,
August 08, 2001 at 02:34:33 (PDT)
Cheese - strictly a lunch time snack, preferably with a bit
of crusty bread, some ripe sliced tomato and maybe just a few
sprigs of thyme and marjoram from Provence. And a shake of ground
black pepper.
Or as an early-morning/post-boozing snack inside a toastie -
its all up to personal preference really! :)
Its quite freaky reading the latest instalments of 'guestbook',
I feel I know who some of the ppl on here are but can't really
just go asking.
Al-meister, need to have wordies with you at Croft to check
out 'stuff'.
I worked out the dude with 'good news' btw - does he know who
I am tho? I dunno. BUt as long as he isn't chatting to me on
knockhill grid, wearing lycra, I don't care. I din't mind the
chat, it was the lycra... Photo's confirmed later what my mind
had managed to deny acces to in the data-banks. :s
Look up chimera in your dictionary if you don't know the word:
never know when that could come in handy!
Lizzy Luvvie
Slipping thru the cracks of the pavement: flying with the Chimera
below and becoming Albino-pale in the darkness... - Tuesday,
August 07, 2001 at 15:47:56 (PDT)
GAP, I hope you're not referring to my sweet little daughter
as the brat from hell ... she was only defending her "Uncle
Bloke" ... and just for the record, there is no such thing as
the typical woman (we are all unique), and what exactly was
meant by the "blonde" comment? I await your responses with apprehension
...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Wondering about libel law ... - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at
14:45:16 (PDT)
Alan you are a true star. What would we do without your dulcet
tones every fortnight??? See you at Oulton Park! (P.S Can we
request Britney please??? ;o) )
Minardi fan <mark.peters@ten-tenths.com>
ROYAL Leamington Spa - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 13:09:47
(PDT)
Hi Al, got some good news, give me a call!
john batchelor <john.topgear'UKGATEWAY.NET>
Wilmslow Cheshire - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 11:40:24 (PDT)
Back from holiday not two days and I already have to put
up with Anna's indecent suggestions and the brat from hell....
'nuff respect to Lager for being nice tho!
If Matt wants to come see us at Silverstone as already invited,
I reckon we can probably run to a cup of coffee and some chocolate
digestives to charm him out of the sulks...
GAP
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 09:14:18
(PDT)
Leave my Uncle Bloke alone before I hit you over the head
with my Laa Laa, GAP!! Poor Uncle Bloke, I still love you xxx
Little Bird Maxie <Not
telling 'cos I'm only a kid>
Very cross on Mummy's lap - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 07:18:29
(PDT)
**** sex with a mouth crammed full of Kentagon beefburger
and relish would also surely do the trick. What are you waiting
for, GAP? Up the Gills.
Anna Shacklady
- Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 04:22:10 (PDT)
He's just not himself lately, is he? He really is suffering
after the recent loss of his friend, (namely, The Hooden Off
The Stage Public House, Tunbridge Wells).
I think we need to be sensitive to this for a little while -
don't worry about being "rounded on" GAP - you can easily win
him over again with the judicious use of a few blokey girl related
words. It won't take much - I'll leave the choice of words up
to you.
Lager
- Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 02:24:51 (PDT)
Me? Editor-type? Christ, who has told you that? I don't edit?
I can't even spell for f**k's sake...ask anyone. I am in emotional
turmoil at the moment because of the passing of one of the greatest
institutions known to man (and am equally upset that Zippy never
took the time to share it with me). I need comforting, not a
slagging off. Anyone who feels sympathetic to my cause, join
with me as we round on GAP for her evil attitude in my time
of sadness
Matty J <stuckj@thebar>
Underneath civilisation, laughing at the jokes - Monday, August
06, 2001 at 10:08:33 (PDT)
I replied to your question you nit wit! Being an editor type,
I thought you'd be able to pick out the bit that was relevant.
Obviously not.
Not only am I a typical woman, I'm also blonde......
....what's your excuse? ;-)
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Monday, August 06, 2001 at 08:46:50 (PDT)
Great that, isn't it!? I welcome GAP back and get completely
overlooked! Typical woman, that is what I reckon! Lager I can't
use a different name. I must come clean for the good of all
Matty James <Stunned@thecheek>
Under the boardwalk. - Monday, August 06, 2001 at 08:28:26 (PDT)
Ah, it's so nice to have been missed! I was living it large
and practising my Spanish (i.e. eyeing up the local hotties)
in a beach bar in Torremolinos.
Zippy/Anna appears to have found another (story of my life that)
so no, I didn't cross over to the dark side.
Poor Lager, fighting of thirty seven kisses and needs a holiday
- its a hard life but what can say? You cope with it well.
GAP <sippingarumandcoke@playamiguel.com>
Looking for the fake tan here on the light side - Monday, August
06, 2001 at 08:00:21 (PDT)
I'm having one of those days, you know......
There are many serious points raised here that I feel I must
attend to without further procrastination.
This is mainly because I'm too sleepy to deal with anything
else that may vaguely resemble work.
Julsey Babe: forget Arbelist's money. He was under the misapprehension
that the bidding thing was a joke.....He’s mortified.
Mr Collins: I am not worthy of this praise. (Oh, you were joking
with the praise bit). And as for the donkey, you haven't tried
the right Peugeot, mate.
Cornish: Brands Thong.
Lizzy: The clock bit has spooked me big style. Do you eat cheese
late into the evening?
Mattie: You are and always will be Mattie. But I preferred the
pseudonyms......they added a mysterious Mattie quality.
GAP: I am jealous of the hols bit. In a big way.
Susie X: That's thirty-five kisses that I'd like to collect,
please. Thirty-seven if you count the name ones as well. I'll
pucker up and close my eyes in eager anticipation.......
Anna: I’m glad we’ve taken it one stage further
– dinner AND a pre-weekend fag!
Lager <sleepy@well.before.bedtime.com>
Is this my house? I hardly recognise it........ - Monday, August
06, 2001 at 06:40:51 (PDT)
I think that should have been 'turn on by' not 'turned to'.
Having been overcome by Madame Horné's pouting face and electronical
persona (my orgasmameter has gone off the clock) at the weekend
I wish to know, as a regular observer of this fine site, if
she will be addressing the world. I hope she wants too as much
as I would like to undress her or just see her undress herself.
Up the Gills.
Anna Shacklady
trying to pick myself after being bowled over by Her - Monday,
August 06, 2001 at 05:57:42 (PDT)
GAP! Fabulous to have you back! Where, oh where, have you
been? Were you abducted by Zippy, or have you turned to the
dark side (ie: Anna Shacklady)
Matty James <matt.james@haynet.com>
In the orifice - Monday, August 06, 2001 at 05:16:21 (PDT)
Well you have all been busy lately! I go away for a few weeks
and come back to so many surprises - Lager is recruiting, Zippy
is lovelorn and Matt is working. And left holding the baby.
GAP <thinking.
about.my. holiday@the.beach>
Admiring my fading suntan - Monday, August 06, 2001 at 04:20:20
(PDT)
7am. In the office. recalling a weekend of fever when Ian
McKellar Junior won the GTS class of the ELMS and the Gills
broke Charlton's unbroken run of wins in the pre-season friendlies.
And Booze. And shagging. God it is good.
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Trying to lubricate myself with a dried-up fish - Sunday, August
05, 2001 at 22:52:03 (PDT)
Gi' the lass a job, don't want to have to start paying for
ale's. :o
I'm not so sure about the 'cuddly little bunny rabbit' bit tho,
sounds a -bit- dodgy...
Lizzy Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Gazing into the face of the biggest clock in the world and watching
the eyes inside it, watch me. - Sunday, August 05, 2001 at 11:37:24
(PDT)
Alan, my cuddly little bunny rabbit, i just want to put you
in my
pocket and take you home! sing to me Alan, please!
Give me a job so that i can get to closer to you or i will make
you pay for the pints of lager!!!
Lots of loveXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSusieX
Susie X <s.p.sheridan@cableinet.co.uk>
Sunny St.Helens - Sunday, August 05, 2001 at 08:19:30 (PDT)
I love Uncle Bloke 'cos when he comes to see me, he helps
me to play with all my toys ... especially my baby dolly!
Maxie Little Bird <Not
telling 'cos I'm only a kid>
Sitting on my potty ... - Thursday, August 02, 2001 at 03:21:58
(PDT)
I love him too - but only when the moon is out, foxes are
frisky and the hares are blowing softly in the midnight breeze
Cornish Nasty <ilikec@s.com>
Bottom Field today, Top Field's been ploughed - Thursday, August
02, 2001 at 02:49:11 (PDT)
I love Matthew James.
Joe Gillis
- Thursday, August 02, 2001 at 02:12:23 (PDT)
Bidding has now closed and Arblest wins the photograph for
£51.00! Arblest, you need to contact me at jules.hefford@btinternet.com
with a genuine e-mail address so that I can forward details
of where to send the cheque. I will telephone Pembury Hospital
tomorrow to find out who to make the cheque payable to. Watch
this space 'cos you may see Matt James (aka Rev Jamesling aka
El Presidente aka any other names he's used!) left holding the
"baby" ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Typing out an envelope for Pembury Hospital ... - Wednesday,
August 01, 2001 at 12:15:27 (PDT)
:o Ian Collins. Here. :o
Apologies to Ian, I haven't been able to listen to your show
for ages as I have to get up early in the morning, but it used
to be great. Does Kev still work with you? (Other radio sidekicks
are available ;)
Alan - Nikki, who's nikki? Have you got more girls hiding in
your radio lorry? And I've not been introduced? :(
Lizzy Luvvie ;) <darkforces@work.com>
Lying in cold dead water gazing at the termites in the clouds,
frolicking 'neath the rivers edge - Wednesday, August 01, 2001
at 12:12:46 (PDT)
then again, i should sit back down, scratch my head and use
my frown, and figure out exactly what i'm worth ... who said
that life would turn out fair?
Zippy Monkeybuns
requiring a hug from that gorg. girl in the btcc paddock but
in reality knowing i don't stand a chance - Monday, July 30,
2001 at 08:31:02 (PDT)
These streets used to look big, his town used to look like
a city, these people used to talk to me
Miles Hunt
<8legged@groovymachine>
Caught in my shadow - Monday, July 30, 2001 at 07:13:53 (PDT)
and now i need a hug and now i need a love and a i really
really wish you were here
Zippy Monkeybuns
shock starting to set in - Monday, July 30, 2001 at 05:21:53
(PDT)
I have decided to drop all pretence in terms of name and
email address.
The reason for this move: I am in total awe and admiration of
the recent postings on this site. To be specific, that of Ian
Collins.
The man is a genius. He has created one of the most listen-to-able
shows on the radio and gets better with every broadcast. For
the uninitiated, I must point out that Collins is a DJ on TalkSport
radio every weekday morning from 1am-5am. Ian Collins and the
Creatures of the Night has helped me through many a sleepless
morn.
For those who’ve yet to have the pleasure, I suggest you listen
in (1089 and 1053am). It is a true national institution.
I am humbled to post next to Mr Collins (who I have listened
to since I was a young teenager) and it was even more of a pleasure
to meet him for the second time on Friday. Mr Hyde, you have
made one of my dreams come true.
Now, come on Nikki and Emma and make the other one a reality!!
Matt James
<matt.james@haynet.com>
Staring at the screen in awe and wonderment - Monday, July 30,
2001 at 01:09:43 (PDT)
Despite many rumours to the contrary, Alan Hyde is one of
the nicest blokes in the world. This is official. He may have
a bad taste in cars, a weird sense in dress and silly job following
grown ups racing in little cars, but I reckon he's OK. If anyone
thinks otherwise then they'd better be prepared to deal with
me. Ignore all the rumours (in any case, you can't fit a donkey
in the passenger seat of a Peugeot) He's one top bloke and it's
a pleasure to know him.
Ian Collins <icollins@talksport.co.uk>
London - Sunday, July 29, 2001 at 15:45:35 (PDT)
For sure is maximum flat out circuit and big balls. Straight
are long and the Mercedes is not liking of it. Want to beat
the David. Ron says I can win championship, believe him. Want
to know who you think wager I should be putting on? The David
is not too good and the Jacques has no chance with bad engine
car. The Eddie is flat out all the way but slagging of me in
Autosport. Fish Hatstand. Going to put some on the Frentzen.
He is the flat out man - so much that I havent been anywhere
near him all day...
Fish Hatstand Radiator
<advice from the
experts>
Deep in the Hockenheim forests, scratching my head. - Friday,
July 27, 2001 at 06:10:19 (PDT)
Welcome to B&Q ... and Congratulations on finding the best
site around by far!!!!! :) I missed everyone at bonny scotland
and I am looking forward to catching up @ Snetterton! :o) x
Woody (Tracey)
Midlands - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 11:25:23 (PDT)
What my learned friend is saying, is that the pub, hereinafter
to be referred to as "the pub", is to be closed as of tonight.
It has wrenched the very heart out of the lad, indeed, if a
premises can be a partner, he is about to go through a turbulent
and unrequested divorce. My thoughts go out to you El Presidente,
indeed, the words below made me genuinely quite sad. Your friends
will help you through this difficult time.
Oh, and by the way, welcome to JB&Q.....welcome to the madness
of the Guestbook Massive!
Lager <Th@'sTh@Then>
Tunbridge Wells - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 08:50:50 (PDT)
That was beautiful, EP ... RIP indeed Hooden ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Sadnessville - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 08:48:17 (PDT)
Rest in peace, my child.
You shone brightly with a warmth and a allure like no other.
You comforted us through the hard times. You were our friend
when all others have let us down. We've poured our hearts out
to you, and you have always been there to listen. The truest
friend.
When the music was playing and the people were dancing, you
smiled along with us all.
You helped people come together. You followed them through their
trials and tribulations and stood firm all the while.
We all owe you a massive debt, yet have no-one to put our arms
around and physically comfort. We may have taken you for granted,
but, rest assured, your memory will live on.
So go forth, administrators, and rip the heart out of one of
the greatest institutions this man has ever known.
RIP
Hooden off the Stage
El Presedente
<matt.james@haynet.com>
In a deep deep hole - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 05:44:22 (PDT)
Hello big Al!! No I don't know anything you don't! thanks
for everything last weekend...who is your favourite AA girl
now? by the way thanks for your help re the stupid thread on
the BTCCPages, Joanna was very grateful. Also, for your further
info, we will probably leave her in the car for Snet!! PS send
me your regular email address if poss. Thanks JB&Q
John B&Q <john.topgear@ukgateway.net>
Wilmslow, darkest Cheshire - Tuesday, July 24, 2001 at 12:50:34
(PDT)
Having been handed down niki wade for sloppy seconds and
then that bird off that cop programme (harder harder i think
it was called) followed by a quick once-over both adele stephens
and debbie ash's websites, i'm now fully primed to go and give
anna shacklady a right old jolly rojjering. no crossing swords,
now. ttfn.
Zippy Monkeybuns <spoilth@prettyface>
tipping my concrete at her lady's feet - Tuesday, July 24, 2001
at 09:02:36 (PDT)
What a wild weekend! Sorry, I wasn't in Scotland, Arblest,
but couldn't miss the Veuve Clicquot final at Cowdray Park,
now could I? Jilly and I had such a lovely time, bit chilly
though but the champagne kept us warm and I'm paying for how
much warmth I had now! Well, how was Knockhill? Give me all
the info. I await with bated breath. Tally Ho!
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Exhausted@Work>
Lying face down on my desk trying to get some sleep ... - Monday,
July 23, 2001 at 02:49:00 (PDT)
Mr. Webmasterbloke, I have an update for the babe zone from
knockhill for you. When the babezone starts I will send it to
you.
Arblest <inthesunshine@knockhill.co.sco>
next to scrotumering, opposite HTML, in the paddock, Knockhill,
not by any gen sets! - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 09:20:07 (PDT)
Arbelist, as it's for charity, I will close the bidding at
midnight (according to the time on this page) on 31 July to
try to raise the maximum amount for the Special Care Baby Unit
at Pembury Hospital. Come on, people, keep bidding!! Bidding
stands at £51 to Arbelist at the moment ... don't you want to
see a pic of the great EP cuddling a baby dolly???
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Yawning at home enjoying time on my own - Saturday, July 21,
2001 at 11:24:59 (PDT)
EP, no more bids then? Lady PP, are you with us in bonnie
scotland? Jules Wah, I believe mine is the largest big for the
photo of EP, when does the bidding close?
Arblest <wet@knockhill.scot>
next to scrotumering, opposite HTML, in the paddock, Knockhill,
not by any gen sets! - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 07:12:20 (PDT)
Tip: EP is desperate to stop the publication of said pic
... out bid him at all costs (it is for charity, after all!).
Whoever gets the pic decides if it's published on here or not
... have to ask Webby Bloke very nicely if he can do the biz
... I'm sure it'll be a pleasure!!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Sitting at my desk in a fever of anticipation ... - Wednesday,
July 18, 2001 at 11:20:08 (PDT)
I've only just returned to the AHFZ after many, many weeks
away and I was disturbed to read so many postings praising Matt
James of Motorsport/ing News fame. I have had many dealings
with said Kentish person and there are a few things that I should
bring to light for the benefit of the members of this zone who
have been hoodwinked by the bearded one.
Firstly, he keeps emitting enormous chuffers from his bottom
which really, really smell. I feel sympathy for his obviously
twisted and tangled innards, but I can't stand it when he wafts
his gas in my direction.
Secondly, he is obviously completely bent. And has a beard.
I hope I have shown you all the light.
Cornish Nasty <youstupidtw@.com>
Top Field, Cornwall - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 07:22:27 (PDT)
I bid £51 for the pic. EP back to you then!
Arblest <bidding@AHFZ>
@home - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 15:02:50 (PDT)
Lager, just a quick comment, trying to get out of the gp
on sunday, we had a bit of a wait, but it was good fun really,
we had radio Silverstone on and it was brilliant, we were in
fits with the banter, so a big thanks to both of you. See you
next year.
Stagey Pete <pete@pbrash.freeserve.co.uk>
Still in the pub, further away from Matt - Tuesday, July 17,
2001 at 08:32:09 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
stagey pete <pete>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 08:28:14
(PDT)
I saw stretters at the GP, lookin good as usual, by the way,
I have a rogues gallary in my pub so the donation of the Piccy
of Baggers would be brillian, I will of course make a donation,
being Scottish im not tight...!
Stagey Pete <pete@pbrash.freeserve.co.uk>
Same pub, a little bit further along the bar... - Tuesday, July
17, 2001 at 08:26:04 (PDT)
Anna, totally agreed! Move theBritish GP to Cadwell, that
is what I say! Pete, Cheers you bastard. Lady PP, I'll offer
£50 for the pic so you can piss off! Lager, excellent reports
from the weekend (apart from the swearing on Saturday night).
Anyone see Stretters?
El Presedente
<Downinthetubestation@midnight>
In the pub, as usual - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 08:22:21 (PDT)
just a little comment, My Mate Baggers is most deffinately
the biggest "ANOREXIC LESBIAN" I have ever known. If you ask
him he will explain, if he won't I WILL. LAGER has my mobile
number if you need it........!
Stagey Pete <pete@pbrash.freeserve.co.uk>
England's Garden - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 08:19:41 (PDT)
what a shite gp. i wonder if we'd be saying that had someone
decided not to 'improve' the original copse, stowe and club
corners and then put in a chicane at abbey. and as for the complex
- hardly the stadium section at hockenheim is it (even brundle
slagged off luffied on sunday). martin, please make them get
a move on and instead of abbey being a right left kink onto
the new infield bit, can't it just be a long right sweeper.
and please get rid of that naff left kink into the new banked
club so we might one day see f1 cars doing what they're supposed
to - going fast, slipstreaming and overtaking. any thoughts?
Anna Shacklady
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 05:47:56 (PDT)
Great Scott, Arbelist! I am not removing my apparel for anyone.
I do not think that you are a gentleman, sir! Tsk, tsk. By the
way, as it is for a good cause, I will raise the bidding to
£10 and I don't even know who El Presidente is! However, the
thought of a grown man cuddling a baby dolly does cause one
some amusement.
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Lunching@Buck.House>
Sipping Lapsang Souchong with Liz - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at
05:32:32 (PDT)
I'm sure everyone will agree, that was a fascinating little
insight into the hurly burly of The Motorsport News Press Day
following the British Grand Prix weekend. Thank you, El Presidente.
One omission however - I think everyone should have their attention
drawn to Motorsport News' contents page. It is an oft-overlooked
feature, but once investigated, it most certainly becomes compulsive
weekly reading...........
Lager <marvelling@the.news>
@ TheTheatre - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 02:29:14 (PDT)
Jules Wah, I would like to bid £5 for the picture of El Presidente.
GAP, a few of my buddies will be at donnington running the PA,
but they have said that they are going to implement the EQUITY
rule that "if the crew and cast outnumber the audience, the
show may be cancelled". Could be a very quiet couple of days
then......
El Presidente, I will uncover myself to the world, as long as
Lady PP does as well!
Arblest <bidding@AHFZ>
@ home for the first time in ages, for 2 days then off to bonnie
Scotland for some motor race or something..... - Monday, July
16, 2001 at 11:56:46 (PDT)
Well well well. A Motorsport News and I am posting at 5.24pm
(ignore the clock on the message). What's going wrong? Or right,
for that matter? Words written, stories filed and pictures chosen.
Is this really British GP week? Something doesn't add up! Check
out all the spelling mistakes in this week's issue guys. First
person to post a message detailing an error wins a prize....
Mr Matthew James, Esq <matt.james@haynet.com>
On the outskirts of reality, just the other side of town, up
a stairway to the stars, throughan alley, two steps down - Monday,
July 16, 2001 at 09:14:22 (PDT)
My comments refer to the good weekend fortunes of Fish Hatstand
Radiator - see how the advice of the Guestbook Massive works?
Trust in the Formula, you know it makes sense. We all had lovely
time at Silverstone, although some major players from the Guestbook
were missed greatly....you know who you are. Rodge was there,
and we love Rodge. (By the way, Nokia Predictive Texting always
suggests "Podie" as the first choice name for "Rodge", even
though I have added "Rodge" to the dictionary). We love Podie.
Lager <chuffed@the.results.of.guestbook.advice>
here briefly, then there later............. - Monday, July 16,
2001 at 05:21:46 (PDT)
And am maximum happy and is having to thank the Lager for
advice. I am deciding, before racing in the Britain, that I
should with myself be, how you say, freer. Have ditched Erja
and found 18-year-old for maximum attack. Has worked and am
feeling revitalised. Thanks and the David is toast for rest
of season - Flat out Maximum. In future, it is that I am voting
for the skirt.
Fish Hatstand Radiator
<advice from the
experts>
Just stepped out of the press conference - Monday, July 16,
2001 at 05:16:03 (PDT)
Uncle Matt bloke, Maxi little bird ... you cuddle dolly
Mad Max <Playing@Mummy's.Computer>
Sitting on her desk where I can fiddle with her keyboard, mouse,
paper clips, etc - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 04:54:39 (PDT)
I have some news from the weekend ... El Presidente found
cuddling baby doll in Tunbridge Wells area ... photographic
evidence will be available in a week or so when I get the film
developed. I can start the bidding at £1, do I see £1 anywhere
... (if it really does take off, I'll send any monies to the
Special Care Baby Unit at Pembury Hospital so don't be shy!).
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
As far away from EP as possible so he can't hit me - Monday,
July 16, 2001 at 04:52:05 (PDT)
IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GODIAN
MCKELLAR IS GODIAN MCKELLAR IS GODIAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR
IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR
IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR
IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GODIAN MCKELLAR IS
GOD IAN MCKELLAR IS GOD
El Presedente <sitting@thebar>
Looking forward to Donners - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 03:39:40
(PDT)
I too watched the GP on TV, EP. Was not enjoying myself though
- DC and Trulli-Lovely out before the green lights had even
faded, but at least Mika the Man made a bit of a comeback. On
a different note entirely, who's going to the PowerTour next
weekend? I know Anna has already booked a landing slot for her
broomstick at Knockhill, but will anyone else be going to Donington?
GAP <@home.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 03:12:54
(PDT)
Too early! I forgot the words "go to the GP?" when I was
talking about Zippy/Anna/Carl McKellar.......
DOH!
El Presedente <Shit@posting
a message>
Office - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 23:17:40 (PDT)
A weekend off, consorting with Alcohol and food. Watching
GP on tele. Then switching to the ELMS in time to see Tom Coronel's
huge accident and then the Champ Car race, which reminded me
just how shit Americans are at motor racing. What a weekend
of bliss. Are there any stories to had from this weekend? Did
Anna or Carl McKellar or Zippy Monkeybuns? Did Lager's dulcet
tones have females swooning? Was GAP enjoying herself and more
importantly, did the flourishing romance between Arbelist and
Lady Penelope Pitstop get consumated. (I have also just realised
that the latter two didn't come clean during our purge on false
names - I think we should issue them with a yellow card. Any
thoughts?)
El Presedente
<sitting@thewaters.edge>
Loving it loving it loving it. - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 23:15:41
(PDT)
Awfully kind of you to offer, Arbelist, but already here.
David hopes that everyone will be right behind him!
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Already@the.track>
Having lunch with David - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 05:53:08
(PDT)
Well Larger has arrived at his luxury accomadation, where
he will be for the next 4 days. EP, when can we expect your
arrival? Lady PP, I have the helecopter on standyby (yes really!!)
and await instructions.
Arbelist
<waitingforthebabezone@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
next to the fosters tower, parked in the big puddle, next to
the big gen set. again. - Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 13:03:26
(PDT)
So tell me, Anna Shacklady, Bad Girls fan or just a bad "girl"?
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Pondering at home - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 12:41:30 (PDT)
wow the woman who played frankie in that cop series last
night was good. i'd love to get between her. pink bat's face
eating spiders legs. two more things: matt james is every girl's
dream and paul rivett is great.
Anna Shacklady
nikki wade - so passé - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 06:49:16
(PDT)
Not a problem Jules, thank you for noticing!
I reckon you were a victim of a poorly server playing merry
hell with it's webmaster at the weekend. Still, all seems to
be working OK now.
Looks like it's going to be the end of the week before the new
sections go live. (bit of a tough week at work this week, sadly)
The Webmaster Bloke
<webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At home, looking at black and yellow catsuit clad ladies...
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 13:56:21 (PDT)
Thank you, Webby Bloke, you are a marvel. I noticed even
if nobody else did ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Head bowed with gratitude - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 07:37:35
(PDT)
Guilty! Hang him high! Swing him! Sorry, what were we voting
for?
Lager <deliberating@the.kangaroo.court.com>
In the outback.............. - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 06:27:14
(PDT)
I can think of no finer person to verify this fact than Lager
man himself. But I do not yet see him coming forward to defend
the El Presidente. Perhaps he has a problem with this ...
Anna Shacklady
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 06:18:51 (PDT)
MJ is 100% Bloke. 100% hetrosexual. 100% all round top geeza
& He has said from time to time "I like girls".
The case is now cast out of court.
Fred Dibner <Somewhere@the
top of a stack>
Mind your head! BELOW! - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 04:47:56
(PDT)
WITHOUT PREJUDICE
I would like to go on record as a character reference for Mr
Matthew James EP, JGR, BGB. I have spent many an hour with Mr
James conversing in matters of his personal life. I am not prepared
to divulge the contents in public but rest assured that he is
most definitely heterosexual with a healthy interest in the
female human species. At no time has he ever given me cause
to believe that he is gay, perverse or any way abnormal with
regard to sexual activity.
The defence rests, m'lud.
PS. That'll be a large rum and coke, bloke!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Indignant at home ... - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 11:48:17 (PDT)
I would like to state here and now that I am:-
a) Great
b) Brilliant
c) Fun
d) Sexy
e) Charming
f) Witty
g) Great with females
h) A great slow-dancer (ask Em)
i) and I dont need an i) cos the rest were so good!
Anyone who disagrees is free to contact me and put me straight
on matt.james@haynet.com.
EL PRESEDENTE
El Presedente <scoffing@thesuggestion>
In the tightest possible space - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 09:36:55
(PDT)
I wish to go on record and say that Mr James is not a gay
man. Not in the sense of homseckshuals. I have, however, found
him to be among one of the more pleasant indivudials I have
come across (in a nice arc, so to speak), so in this sense of
the word gay, indeed its proper meaning as used many a time
on celluloide by the likes of garbo, astaire, swanson, barrymore,
I do find him to be of 'gay character', ie a pleasant man. I
wish I could be more like him. just in case, however, might
i suggest he checks out adele stephens by going to thirdpage.co.uk
and click on 'enter third page'. ruddy marvaileuse it is.
ANNA SHAGLADY
Just finished with Nikki Wade - pulling out the spiders leg
from in between my teeth - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 09:26:27
(PDT)
I would like to pursue the matter with Anna. I quote defamation
by inunendo. "A statement may be innocuous on the surface, but
be defamatory to those with special knowledge.
For example, for someone to say Mr James is a gay man is obviously
not defamatory - but, if other readers know that he is a hetrosexual,
such a statement is defamatory because it imputes he is sexually
dishonest."
You see, Anna, it is not the words themselves I have a major
problem with, it is the sentiment behind them.
At this stage, and to help my defence, I would like any female
on this site who would like to help my case to step forward
and offer themselves as evidence (providing the aforementioned
act was forthcoming).
Even without this evidence, I will hound you and hound you and
hound you Anna to the gates of Oulton Park - and possibly even
beyond.
Get away with your evil words.
Yours without litigation
EL PRESEDENTE
El Presedente <offended
at my desk>
In conference with my lawyers. - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 08:24:40
(PDT)
The comment thus: "never had sex with ... any type whatsoever
and all" is meant as a continuous reference to the male population
of the planet. I was merely trying to defend the right honourable
genulmen's sexuality and promiscuiousness but instead have fallen
on my own sword (ooer). ps: i doubt you'd make it stick in a
libel trial as it was clear to any right thinking member of
society this is what i was trying to achieve so no malice (one
of the three things that must be proven in a libel case) was
evident on my part. you tell him lager. in fact, EP, stop being
such a silly spanner. you tell him lager.
Anna Shacklady
up nikki wade's chuff, gee-in it sum - Monday, July 09, 2001
at 07:53:32 (PDT)
I refer to the comments of Anna which read thus: "never had
sex with a man or male being or any type whatsoever and all
..."
To this, I object. I have had sex with an "any type whatsoever
and all..." It implies that I am, at the grand old age of 28,
a virgin in every sense of the word.
Anna, please stop these horrible accusations. I mean, have you
got a full record of everyone you've ever slept with?
I, on the other hand, have. I hired a bloke to do the report
specially. All he did was hang around my hedge all day. Then
I realised, much to my chargrin, he was a privat investigator.
Must get that typewriter fixed.
Anyhow, anymore allegations such as that, Anna me old mucker,
and it is a libel suit for you. And I know all about those now.
Yours in gratuitous copulation,
El Presedente
El Presedente
<grills are
better than girls>
Sitting in the morning Sun - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 07:22:22
(PDT)
Unless they're questions about sex with men, of course, as
he would have no idea what advice to give having never had sex
with a man or male being or any type whatsoever and all ...
Anna Shacklady
nikki wade's hide-out - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 05:07:42 (PDT)
Enter El Presidente.........so to speak. He knows all the
answers. In fact, there could be an advice corner on here. EP
answers all your questions. Top idea. Agony Uncle Mattie.
Lager <Maximum
@tack>
Still chilly.................... - Monday, July 09, 2001 at
03:55:01 (PDT)
Work is ongoing on the new bits for the website, it's coming
along very nicely. The Arblist is a true genius! Also, somebody
e-mailed me some pictures of the launch do at Silverstone last
year, they might have to make an appearance too.
One thing is bothering me amongst all this though. I reckon
I 'know' one of the babes in the photos, although I have absolutely
no idea where from. The picture was taken at Oulton Park by
the looks of it (big trees, very green), so it's plausible I
guess.
Anyway, I was wondering whether I require professional help,
and is it expensive?
The Webmaster Bloke
<webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At work, pondering things and wondering whether there is more
to life than Dennis Nordern and afternoon repeats of Bullseye
- Monday, July 09, 2001 at 03:39:45 (PDT)
Fish Hatstand Radiator - I can barely believe that we have
been graced by your presence. We on the Guestbook have no other
advice, other than the rule by which we live. Vote for the skirt.
Respect.
Lager <t@tty.dog.eared.paddock.photos>
Chilling....... - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 02:03:23 (PDT)
I am so sorry about the earlier multiple postings ... my
work computer went haywire. Perhaps the wonderful Webby Bloke
can delete all but one? I hope so. I will never post from work
again ... I'm so embarrassed ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Hiding under my desk in shame - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 11:53:09
(PDT)
Nice to be a tad cooler today. Haven't been around for a
while as I've been trying to get to grips with a new job. Belated
Independence Day congrats to David Bardwell-Dix ... his close
friends will know why! Nice to see Matty being honest (don't
know about the brain with an opinion bit though ... hmmm) and
look forward to more of the same. Would love to join Lady P
at Cowdray ... hope to be there for the final on the 22nd but
seeing as she ignored my last request for seat space, I don't
hold out much hope. Maybe I'm beneath her nobility??? My last
comment for the day is "Go, Tim, go ... do it for England!"
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Suffering heat stroke at my desk ... - Friday, July 06, 2001
at 06:25:57 (PDT)
I say, Arbelist, a truly wondrous offer. Unfortunately, unable
to accept this weekend as my presence is required for a few
chukkas at Cowdray. However, don't despair, old boy, I will
take you up on your offer one day as it's been simply eons since
my last chopper trip (make of that what you will!). Think of
me sweating astride a stallion this weekend pelting along at
break-neck speed. Good luck at Silverstone, all you spiffing
driver types.
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Playing@Cowdray.Park>
Position 3, heading off the goals - Friday, July 06, 2001 at
05:55:11 (PDT)
Am not impressed. For flat out advice and maximum answer
to my attack of the David, you people are not good. Am wanting
a flat out answer to problems what is the no speed. Am going
to ask again and wanting advice. Nasty Jacques is wanting my
seat at Uncle Ron's place, and am thinking that Ron is not happy
with me. Help. Flat out maximum. Raikkonen is better and I am
looking bad. Help.
Fish Hatstand Radiator
<advice from the
experts>
in the gym, preparing for Silverstone - Friday, July 06, 2001
at 03:01:46 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 02:57:24
(PDT)
I register with disappointment the recent postings on this
site. All too frivilous and friendly without any vulgarity (or
top-heaviness as my maths techer used to say). No. It's wrong.
Not big or hard. Unless we're going to see a babe gallery, that
is ...
Anna Shacklady
Fantatitsising about Nikki Wade - free the murdering bitch and
let me punish her - Thursday, July 05, 2001 at 05:30:49 (PDT)
Thank you to the kind souls who wished the Webmaster Bloke
birthday wishes, and to the Arblist for the excellent material
which arrived in my mailbox last night.
In response to the previous message, a couple of models were
hired for the launch of the website and pictures are available
somewhere. Although I can't remember for the life of me where
they are. I'll see what I can do - so long as nobody tells them
they're being posted up here!
I hear there is exciting developments on the news page front.
That should be good!
The Webmaster Bloke
<webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At home, recovering... - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 23:42:07
(PDT)
Wasn't there a couple of babes at the AHFZ site launch at
Silverstone last year. Must be some pics of them somewhere.
Guy in the black hat
trying to focus - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 14:52:33 (PDT)
Just a little Birthday wish to the Mr. Webmaster Bloke. Keep
up the Hard Work!
Noone
Anywhere in the world - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 14:30:54
(PDT)
The deed is done. It was a hard uphill struggle, but It has
been done. So hard in fact, I found myself (NEXT SECTION OF
TEXT DELEATED FOR REASONS OF DECENCY). So come on Mr. Webmasterbloke,
do your stuff!! Anyone going to Goodwood this weekend? Any babes
wishing to get in the babe zone, come and see me. Lady PP, Helicoper
is organised for silverstone, (yes really), Where and when is
most convient for you?
Arbelist <somebody@somewhere.com>
Calming down after editing pics - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at
14:02:24 (PDT)
I think blokes should be allowed as well .... totally unfair!!!!
Trace <men@theaa.com>
Middle - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 10:35:22 (PDT)
And yes...I am new website man and thinking of yes message
posting. Am quick driver for cars and flat out maximum. Drive
Grey car for uncle Ron. Flat out maximum and not going good.
Car not special and the David has more points. For Sure. Needing
speed and maximum attack. What advice do you people have and
is flat out...
Fish Hatstand Radiator <advice
from the experts>
Barcelona Paddock, testing again! - Wednesday, July 04, 2001
at 07:34:29 (PDT)
It is truly joyous union, El Presidente. It's too hot today
- can't think of anything witty to say. No change there, then.
The love that oozes form this page is truly wondrous. Anna,
your love yesterday was not unrequited. It is the big bubble
of love that is the Guestbook, which, incidentally, seems to
have a life of it's own this week. Weekly html pruning may be
on the cards, Webby Baby. Bulge those archives.
Lager <pointing.my.hot.bits@the.air.con.unit>
In my hot little room..............I could do with a beer. A
cold Kaliber? Of course. - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 07:25:21
(PDT)
No need for an alias folks. I have to come clean for the
good of all. Now is my time to stand up and be counted for the
good of the country, our sport and myself. I am a brain with
an opinion, and will not be subserviant to all and sundry. I
am worry, nah, deeply concerned about GAP/Anna interface. I
fear the postings of yesterday weren't from Anna but an imposter.
The tone, content and persistence of the aforementioned posting
lead me to conclude that someone is pulling someone's plonker
here. Anyone want to pull mine? I am also disappointed in Arbelist
and his Jaguar trick with Lady P. How low can you get! Think
big, mate. Try a heleicopter link from East Midlands Airport
straight into the Paddock. It is the only way to travel. Joyous
news from today is Lager and myself sharing a page of Motorsport
News. An ad page at that! Piccie of Lager interviewing Mark
Fullalove and my expert comments next to it! Marvellous! Joined
together in an unseperable union at last! Bliss. Vote for the
skirt and girls, keep wearing the boots. Love Matty
Plain old
Matty James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Locked in a darkened room - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 03:27:22
(PDT)
Which substance exactly are you taking Anna? Do not have
any leather trousers of any sort. Have never had or want or
wore fake, imitation or real leather trousers of any sort. Your
fantasies are running away with you...once again. Incidentally,
aside from being a press officer type person, I'm a student
- students are poor. Sad but true. For the record, I happen
to know that Anna is originally from a very similar village,
10 minutes away from me...
Girl About Paddock
Out to lunch - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 02:51:00 (PDT)
GAP. or should that be memory GAP. Last year, 2000, you most
definitely wore laydoheissen when serving as wordsmith for the
RP in the UK CC. perhaps you had to borrow them off your mate
the vickler (one for the image gallery, quite a fox) as you're
quite poor, coming from a coalfield community and all. feel
the power of my sword. paul rivett is great. lager i love you
today.
Anna Shacklady <smackmypony@lesbosuck.hard.big'uns.com>
pebble dashing the (kami) khazi - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at
09:54:46 (PDT)
Well, Arbelist, are you surprised that I failed to show?
When has anyone seen Lady PP in a a common or garden Jaguar???
Rolls Royce only, please. Incidentally, haven't been around
for a while as I've been doing a bit of marriage guidance for
my friends Tim and Anne, sorry to disappoint. I'll get Parker
to send in a gilt-framed photograph for the gallery. Tally-ho,
all.
Lady Penelope Pitstop <Lunching@the.Savoy>
Dining on caviar and champagne - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 06:24:42
(PDT)
Anna, I don't even OWN a pair of fake - or otherwise- leather
trousers and have certainly never wore said item to a race meeting
(or any other event come to that). I can only deduce that a/
you are once again confusing fantasy with reality or B/ you
really are high on illegal substances. As for hosing my T-Shirt
down- I now know not to come any where near you in future if
you are with liquids. Worrying. Very worrying.
Girl About Paddock <somebody@somewhere.com>
Thinking about applying for a restraining order... - Tuesday,
July 03, 2001 at 02:36:57 (PDT)
GAP. where you've got this idea of a t-shirt being what i
want you to wear i have no idea. perhaps you have a thing for
femalia in t-shirts, warm days and the contents being hosed
down with cold water just to see what happens. i know i have.
what i was in fact referring to - see the word laydihozen -
were the fake leather trousers you have sported before. like
i said, i have no idea how you can get trousers mixed up with
a tit-shirt, sorry t-shirt.
Anna Shacklady
high on smack - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 01:45:34 (PDT)
It is a joy to watch how the wheels of this well oiled machine
slip effortlessly into motion. I cannot wait for the webby additon
- I think it may be quite a successful feature. Thanks to GAP
for the offer of a contribution, and now for Anna - come on
now, don't be shy.......
Lager <amazed@theguestbookactivity>
At home, wishing it was chilly - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 00:56:48
(PDT)
Mr. Arblist sir,
640x480 jpg's at about 200k sound absolutely fine to me. Unless
anybody has any requests for a wallpaper section (in which case,
double that might be nice).
Let's face it, we've all dreamed of having a www.theaa.com grid
girl in our bedroom (on the wall in poster form, for goodness
sake!)
Send 'em through to the webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk address
as I don't want my identity to be revealed to the world, and
I'll post them up!
Cheers,
Chief Anorak (aka The Webmaster Bloke)
The Webmaster Bloke
<webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At home, at Anorak H.Q. with my matchsticks at the ready to
keep my eyes open whilst sifting through those tedious photos
of the lycra-clad grid girls... - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 13:11:34
(PDT)
GAP, come and see me and discuss www.alanhydefanzone.com
Paddock girl pics.
Arblist <somebody@somewhere.com>
Studing some pics from Donnington in the watering closet...where
the light is better - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 11:53:29 (PDT)
Babe Corner eh? I might have a few pics of Emm for that then.
Mr Webmasterbloke, what format would you like the pics in? 640x480
Jpeg at about 200Kb OK? I am wondering where Lady PP was at
the weekend, I had the Jag on standby to do the airport run,
the red carpet was neatly coiled ready for action, and no Lady
PP at Donnington (or did I miss her?). Joke: Q.Whats the difference
between Lager and something very red? A. Nothing! BTW-Lager
your GP residence is now located in your favorite place, and
ready for your arrival.
Arblist <madasah@ter>
Donnington, Silverstone, Banbury, Stroud! - Monday, July 02,
2001 at 11:45:15 (PDT)
Dear Anna - my t-shirt at Donny was not THAT tight. But,
if a plain white t-shirt can have such an effect on you, I'm
glad I wasn't wearing an AA.com, standard issue, Lycra suit.
For Lagers sake though, I would of course be happy to be snapped
in my role as alanhydefanzone.com Girl About Paddock and kick
off his new photo corner in style. However, it's only fair that
I then get to pick candidate number 2 and that in turn, number
2 is male. Yours, GAP.
Girl About Paddock <saying.cheese@the.camera>
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 11:34:37 (PDT)
Alan Hyde website :o A whole one? WOW!!
He scurries about all weekend, gazing at gridgirls all the time
purely to give us the best TOCA radio he can. He's a guy with
the hardest job on earth, obviously.
Plus he gets to interview all the drivers as and when he feels
like. Got to know their names and car numbers, but a bit of
late nite revision over a drinkie soon sorts that out, and he's
ready for the weekend.
Got to get a job like that, got to earn money, get job gazing
at gridgirls, must...
Lizzy Luvvie ;) <darkforces@work.com>
Far corner of the room, where the shadows live and prosper,
gawping in awe at the light...the light of night. - Monday,
July 02, 2001 at 11:02:05 (PDT)
Personally, if it was I looking through images of the bevvy
of beauteez/huniz then I think i'd be bored 'stiff', not rigid...
I suggest you start right now with one of GAP in her tight-fitting,
buttock-clenching (but fake of course and second hand) laydihozzzen.
Thy're great and so is paul rivett
Anna Shacklady
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 09:58:40 (PDT)
Personally, if it was I looking through images of the bevvy
of beauteez/huniz then I think i'd be bored 'stiff', not rigid...
I suggest you start right now with one of GAP in her tight-fitting,
buttock-clenching (but fake of course and second hand) laydihozzzen.
Anna Shacklady
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 09:58:09 (PDT)
About webby updates - I could only come up with one requirement.
Babe Corner. A chance for Arbelist's photographic genius to
come to the fore, and share with everybody the stunning artistic
images captured at various motorsport events during 2001. It
would of course, be done purely in the name of art. Not just
www.theAA.com girls, but even pleasant and interesting images
of female contributors to this very web page. No male pics,
I'm afraid - we can’t keep pandering to the whims of El
Presidente. I've run it past the Webby Bloke, and he's well
up for the increased workload. Hours of sifting through hard
copy will no doubt bore him rigid, but he seems to think he
can cope. Now it's up to Arbelist to make the necessary contacts……
Lager <staring@thescreen>
Unclothed, with no air con............... - Monday, July 02,
2001 at 07:33:50 (PDT)
budgie's tongue. now there's a rude phrase ... and paul rivett
is just great.
Anna Shacklady
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 06:03:34 (PDT)
Right. See the problems you caused Webster, EP? Look at the
hard work he had to do, just because of you? Keep it real, and
respect the Webby Bloke.
Kaliber <gazing@afemaleracingdriver>
Moved to a day ward............... - Monday, July 02, 2001 at
05:48:16 (PDT)
You are most welcome El Presidente. I hope to see it in print
one day soon (hint, hint). So did everyone enjoy Donington?
I saw both Anna and Zippy and I have to say the standard of
behaviour was quite impressive. Not a hint of flirtation in
sight. Nor sadly was there any coffee and biscuits but the GP
coverage was greatly appreciated. I also interviewed Anna's
very favourite driver for a future article, so keep an eye out
everyone...
Girl About Paddock
... - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 05:45:28 (PDT)
Double posts are possibly to do with the length of this page,
so I'm going to prune it a little in a moment. Old entries will
be in the archives at the bottom. News page and pictures - bugger,
looks like I'll have to dig out the HTML editor and start to
write those then. Nobody else seems to want to help. Now, where
did I put those pictures?!
The Webmaster Bloke
<webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At work, wondering if Monday is "The National Have A Go At The
Webmaster Bloke Day" today... Also recovering from sunburn,
being viciously attacked with a 6ft inflatable rubber drill
and a longing gaze from a female racing driver yesterday...
(in my dreams quite possibly) - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 05:19:36
(PDT)
Lager a) It was not a gramatical mistake, you bastard. b)
web bloke needs censuring for his lack of provision of a news
page which he did promise - ages ago and c) bollocks. There,
three things you can't argue with!
El Presedente
<oglingFEMALESasopposedto.chaps>
In a nightclub, eyeing up loads of 16-18 year old birds who
are dead up for it (unfortunately not for me though, so I will
stick to the old slappers I normally end up with at the end
of the evening - you know, the ones no one else can pull....
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 05:03:44 (PDT)
It has happened again!
El Presedente <matt.loves.girls@hetro.com>
Happening again!!!. - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 04:59:41 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
El Presedente <matt.ka>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 04:58:52
(PDT)
Not at all, because you now further add insult to injury,
by again behaving like a novice by posting the same message
twice, albeit with one tiny correction of an infantile grammatical
error. AND THEN start blaming the guru that is The Webby Master
Bloke by suggestion that your mouse control ineptitude can be
blamed upon his html page layout. Leave it out, you're at fault.
No question. Report to the Clerk’s office immediately.
Do not pass go and do not collect 200 B&H.
Lager Lager Lager
<gazing@yellowand
blackcatsuits>
In intensive care, being treated for sunburn.......... - Monday,
July 02, 2001 at 04:38:17 (PDT)
I can explain my last posting! I was filling in my details,
and all that, when my mouse slipped and went on to the alanhydefanzone.co.uk
banner on the side. It automatically posted the message, although
I hadn't completed it. I was under time pressure (it being a
press day Monday (thanks for the release, GAP)) and couldn't
post again until now. Does that satisfy?
El Presedente
<cowering@thegatesofBHLGcircuits>
slopping out - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 04:20:29 (PDT)
I can explain my last posting! I was filling in my details,
and all that, when my mouse slipped and went on to the alanhydefanzone.co.uk
banner on the side. It automatically posted the message, although
I hadn't completed it. I was under time pressure (it being a
press day Monday (thanks for the release, GAP)) and couldn't
post again until know. Does that satisfy?
El Presedente
<cowering@thegatesofBHLGcircuits>
slopping out - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 04:20:14 (PDT)
I am deeply appalled by the standard of that last posting,
El Presidente. Hurt even. I have come to expect more from a
seasoned poster such as yourself. You don't think it may have
been an impostor, do you, leaving a clue trail displaying traits
of guest book inexperienece.......
Lager <shocked@elpresidente>
A grid full of AA girls waiting for the mic - Monday, July 02,
2001 at 04:07:01 (PDT)
Enter your comments here...
E Presedente <Picking@aguitar>
Picking out the citrus flavour - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 03:00:06
(PDT)
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