alan hyde fan zone - the:guestbook

OK, this is the place where you can add your comments to the "Hall of Fame" listed below. Just a few guidelines though...

Firstly, don't post personal attacks or direct criticism of individuals in this public forum, it's not big and it's not fair on the individual - particularly if they can't get online to answer back. Anything which is really bad WILL be deleted.

Additionally, don't attempt to pretend that you're somebody you're not! The fake names are just fine (and really quite funny!), just don't post using an identity (fake or otherwise) which other people would assume is somebody else.

Finally, remember that the comments here are in no way the views of either Alan Hyde himself, or the people responsible for this website (who shall remain nameless!), and therefore no liability can be accepted for anything bad happening whatsoever, so there!

Apart from that, post away and have fun.

Your responses

Sorry I've laughed so much at the 'cure' that I can hardly breathe
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 12:31:53 (PST)

Much appreciated squire, whoops, I mean laydee
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 09:52:42 (PST)

A-ha. Thought so. Cure is to tug rapidly and remove all hair (you'll find it's porbably matted together in this region). Do not use a razor as it's a difficult area to reach and you could cause further damage. Then get a friend to either blow cool air or pour cool water over the area to soothe it. Do not allow to dry out - use a moisteriser for the next week or so to keep skin from cracking or crazing. Do not use exfoliating cream. Simply let nature work its magic.
Anna Shacklady
- Monday, February 25, 2002 at 08:50:24 (PST)

Arse update: It is the coccyx which is causing me pain. Any remedies gratefully accepted.
PS: Please don't tell me what Lager did - ie: I need an operation
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Under the knife - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 07:13:28 (PST)

Matt: you say your arse hurts. Do you mean right up in the ring or the bit in the centre at the top of the crack which sometimes gets sore from trapped sweat overload? Let me know and I'll be happy to come round and have a look.
Anna Shacklady
- Monday, February 25, 2002 at 06:52:08 (PST)

Hey thank you very much, F@tbird nice though Max is, I'll just stick to the odd day here and there! - still recovering from last time!
Matt Great idea! but I've had my 15mins of fame and frankly i was unimpressed. As for you arse have you tryed sitting on an innertube?
Lizzie you havent seen my place, so dont go there, but if I had to I would, I've been there before!
Who ever said "Shit shoveler in Sheffield or Shaint Albans" you should get out more, of be locked up in a nice soft room!
Thanks anyway to all of ya, you made me remmember it's fun to smile! :) see
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Monday, February 25, 2002 at 02:35:44 (PST)

My arse hurts. Suggestions please...

Lager: Thanks for the book advice, but as anyone who has read MN can testify, I can't read
Matt James <pain@thearse.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 01:01:23 (PST)

Mattie! You desperately need to read Ben Elton's latest book - "Dead Famous".

Your mind is working along seriously similar lines, and I think therefore that you might rather enjoy it.

It's a bumper read.
Lager
- Friday, February 22, 2002 at 13:26:08 (PST)

A job? Don't get a job! Apply for one of the proliferation of TV shows offering a year/week/month of free holiday with a load of fit birds in a far away destination.
Eden and Castaway are perfect examples. Great big lovely birds with their jugs hanging out, eating half-cooked wildlife and lounging around on hammocks. Mega.
Alternatively, why not apply for the third Big Brother. But, make a name for yourself by being worse than Nasty Nick. Dream up a scam - something like smuggling a mobile phone in with you - and quickly become the most hated man in Britain for probably the most trivial act in the world...
Just some ideas...
MJ
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 08:06:46 (PST)

Enter your comments here...
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Under the moon of love, next to the milky twilight, under the bridge in the club at the end of the street - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 07:59:42 (PST)

You can be my house cleaner if you like S, plenty for you to do!
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Dirtville - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 04:36:07 (PST)

Come and look after your honourary neice for me, S Wah, and I'll go out to work instead ...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Wish I COULD go back to work :( - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 09:35:59 (PST)

Shit shoveler in Sheffield or Shaint Albans?
Pierre Lavague
- Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 09:32:35 (PST)

Ok chaps/chapesses.
Push has come to shove. I'm currently looking for a new career so have any of you got a good idea of what I can do?
Anything involving shoving or sticking not required.
This is a real plee, so be nice!
. . .and the wringer out for the one arm window cleaner job has already gone.
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
The Royal Borough of T Wells - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 05:08:32 (PST)

Ahhh-haaa!
Alan Partridge <somebody@somewhere.com>
Cook Pass Babtridge - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 04:15:23 (PST)

Is that an open invitation, Anna? If so, I'd like to come too, please.

And can I make a general request?

I think this web page has become a little overtly sexist. Bash, bash, bash. It never seems to stop.

There is a guilty party, time and time and time again. You know who you are.

Please stop this vicious sexism. Please stop being so horrible to blokes.

On and on it goes.
Lager
- Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 02:17:34 (PST)

GAP: fancy joining me for posh pre-season drinkies in the lounge of a swanky London hotelia before heading upstairs for amajor session?
Anna Shacklady
- Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 01:32:57 (PST)

I have just noticed a strange paradox in the opening paragraph to this page.
It says we should all be nice to each other and try and be honest about who we are, but then it says the webmaster (who shall remain nameless!)...out the compter boffin, I say. Come on, come clean webbie bloke
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 01:21:22 (PST)

Oh Dear! The belly button fluff must have got in the system and stopped people from posting....
Matt J <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 01:18:49 (PST)

I wondered that from time-to-time too Jules! Maybe there are little fluff fairies that put it there during an afternoon nap.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkfrces@work.com>
In GAP's navel. :s - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 12:36:26 (PST)

Respect is not a right but a privelege ... and I claim my right!

Loud enough for you, Bloke? ;)

Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Comtemplating my navel (where did the fluff come from?) - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 12:11:04 (PST)

Right Anna. A little bit more respect if you wouldn't mind. If you can't manage some simple social courtesy in your next message, you and I will have to have to have serious words re respecting the lay-deez. Capice?
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Amazed at the nerve - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 11:39:45 (PST)

I assure you, Matty, now I'm in there is no room. Unless you care to come in round the back?
Anna Shacklady
Widening the GAP - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 08:50:09 (PST)

Steve's happy, Anna's perplexed and GAP, Jules and Lager are all quiet.
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Following Anna into the void. Sorry, I meant GAP...... - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 07:04:00 (PST)

...
Anna Shacklady
Bridging the GAP - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 04:48:00 (PST)

!
Anna Shacklady
Filling the GAP - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 04:47:30 (PST)

?
Anna Shacklady
Plugging the GAP - Monday, February 18, 2002 at 04:46:47 (PST)

WWWWWOOOOOOOOO-HHHHHHHooooooooooeee!
S Wah, (trade mark) <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 12:34:32 (PST)

He couldn't open his door because he forgot his key.....
Lager
- Friday, February 15, 2002 at 07:37:49 (PST)

Very much so, S!

Gap - don't listen to Anna, she's a Charlatan of Romance - and she'd two-time you with Matty. You know I am your one true love, whenever I dream of you I'm reminded of Watford and the London Underground. And you know I want to drive my train in your...

;)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Solitary confinement - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 04:49:33 (PST)

. . . forgot to say, I didn't get any V.Day cards but I got a kiss from someone who I didn't expect, does that count?

S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 03:19:54 (PST)

Thanks webbymeiser, sorry if 'it' did!

S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 03:18:29 (PST)

Anna
Dont toy with my affections
MJ
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 09:12:00 (PST)

GAP. I shall be in on my own tonight. What I do with myself will be all your fault. (and I didn't mean chocolates, although maltesers, fingers of fudge and the tips of crunchies can be immense fun)
Anna Shacklady
Entering GAP's dark side - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 09:02:27 (PST)

I had a lovely letter from Miss Nat West-Bank this morning. Why does she keep writing? I have already told her, I don't want to make a deposit or a withdrawal.
I would like to protest at Anna's overt sexual advances towards GAP. Anna, what is wrong with me. You know I have a long-held admiration for you. Don't spurn me, please. I don't want this passion to be inrequited...
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 06:13:30 (PST)

I'd prefer chocolates
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Crossing over to the dark side - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 05:48:24 (PST)

Tis St Valentine's Day. I love you all. But have a special love for GAP. To the rest of you I send a card. To GAP, I will "give it to her personally by hand", said a spokesman.
Anna Shacklady
- Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 05:38:39 (PST)

First time for everything Lager! :p

Never mind eh, Matt...
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Jah-maica - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 05:19:00 (PST)

I'd lost my key
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 03:46:06 (PST)

I like this - I can make a sensible contribuation!

Yup, Zippy, TOCA Radio is on for 2002! Yippee!

I hope Mr James is feeling a little better, and couldn't open his front door, this Valentine's morning.
Lager <radio@tocatour.com>
- Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 01:32:52 (PST)

Made a slight edit Anna, but I hope you'll let me off!
The Webmaster Bloke <webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
Out with the profanity checker... - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 07:59:15 (PST)

I'm sorry, GAP, but that's how i feel. Al, is TOCA Radio on or off this year?
Zippy Monkeybuns
Trying to get GAP out of my system (wink wink) - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 07:39:20 (PST)

Great Expectations. Crime and Punishment. The Naked and The Dead. Hamlet. Pride and Prejudice. The Railway Children. All great literary masterpieces. But you know what I say, you can beat a rug, but you can't beat a good w(i)nk.
Anna Shacklady
Awaiting a telling-off from webmasterbloke - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 07:38:04 (PST)

Dearest Zippy, I'm worried about this pillar of marble I seem to inadvertently have triggered. Sounds painful. Maybe you should take a cold shower? Luv, GAP.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Writing a postcard from the edge - Tuesday, February 12, 2002 at 22:43:58 (PST)

Best wishes to Mr Matt James who today is poorly. Get well soon (why do I get a feeling this message of goodwill is about to take on near-Ferris Beuler proportions)? My feelings for GAP have also grown. Larger and more erect like a towering pillar of marble.
Zippy Monkeybuns
Sweating my bollocks off - Monday, February 11, 2002 at 03:49:53 (PST)

We like that. Very much.
Lager
- Sunday, February 10, 2002 at 12:25:02 (PST)

Pure tosh. Matty James is Bagpuss.
Alan's No.1 Fan <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere lost in thoughts about Alan. - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 03:32:17 (PST)

Scrub that thing about no f**king entries in Formula Renault - It is going to be a barnstormer!
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 02:54:02 (PST)

Look, I've had a shit week alright so leave it out! Not only to I have to content with writing previews about championships which, as yet, have no f**king entries, my lap top crashed and I lost EVERYTHING on the hard-drive (phone lists, page plans for the next 12 months, etc) and the one feature for this week that I have managed to write has been ditched. Add to that the fact that I am now in a darkened corner of the office working on a computer invented by Adam and Eve which f**king posts messages twice when I don't ask it to, then you can see why I am vexed. So f**k off.
Boy I feel better for that!
MJ
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 02:51:34 (PST)

Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 14:11:22 (PST)

... especially the ones for the criminally insane!
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Contemplating my navel ... - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 00:50:02 (PST)

No wonder this country has a problem with over-flowing prisons!!
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Ready! Aim! Fire! - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 17:33:01 (PST)

doh!
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 11:20:07 (PST)

No but posting teh same message twice is
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 11:19:51 (PST)

No but posting the same message twice is
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 11:19:23 (PST)

Oh joy upon joy!
No sooner do I retake the chair at MN than the flatplan for a monster pre-season supplement is thrust under my nose with the sentence: "work harder for less money". Am I working in my ideal job or what? I can't get enough of this place and I want to marry Motorsport News. Is that legal??
mj
Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Under the Bridge with the bloke from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 05:49:28 (PST)

Erissons. Hedgehogs. I miss Lager. I miss Matt James. I love Matt James. I love Lager and I'm simply mad about GAP (but not GAP the clothes store which allegedly has its goods manufactured by pre-teen Asian children in run-down torture chamber-like factories, slave-driven 20 hours a day, never allowed to sit down with barely any rest. And for about 50p a week. I'm sure they're not the only ones).
Zippy Monkeybuns
- Tuesday, February 05, 2002 at 03:16:28 (PST)

Stretch...Yawn...I have finally emerged from a two-week, pre-season hibernation. What happening then? Owt going on?
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Emerging from the wilderness - Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 23:46:02 (PST)

Fisk, element, päls-stokel!
Docker, Docker <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 09:13:39 (PST)

Doh!!

(Are you nicely tanned now Lager: 'Biere Brun' perhaps?)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Pished as a fish - Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 19:43:57 (PST)

Aren't they mobile phones? Sponsor Rickard?
Lager <Back>
- Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 19:00:00 (PST)

I had 'moules' down as mussels - the shell fish kind, not Jean CLaude Van Damme.

It doesn't help in understanding the phrase tho.

I still don't know what erissons are...
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
- Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 10:24:44 (PST)

Whats. . . .'You have animals? Yes, I have a cat and two dogs but, has the end of the journee, I prefere to kill my erissons but our grind are forbidden with the peppers. Oiu madam. ' got to do with price of fish?
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
nose in a dictionary - Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 09:45:52 (PST)

Has anybody got any veras?
Beast of Bodmin <lovely@jubbly.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 08:33:06 (PST)

Anybody have a clue as to what 'erissons' are?

The things they don't teach you at high school...
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In the Land of Jah! - Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 05:15:25 (PST)

Avez-vous des animaux? Oui, j'ai un chat et deux chiens mais, a la fin de la journee, je prefere de tuer mes erissons mais notre moules sont interdits avec les poivres. Oiu madame.
J-P Lavague
- Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 05:11:09 (PST)

I can't believe you guys get so depressed about not being able watch a few fast cars whizz around a track sounding like angry wasps!

Okay, I'm now hiding UNDER my desk to avoid the fallout! lol

Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Bemused somewhere, I'm not sure where ... - Monday, January 28, 2002 at 01:06:32 (PST)

I was only 21 days from NASCA (sing along if you know the words)
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 08:57:33 (PST)

mmmmmmmmmm............sweet bliss.........meeeeeeyyoooow..........mmmmmmmm........'its a fast start from the outside of the grid'.........mmmmmm.....oops! going to change some clothing.
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Dreamland - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 02:46:21 (PST)

Soon. Soon we can stand in concrete structures in remote locations and listen to the exuberant roar of the engines, smell the air of petrol fumes and brake dust, watch cars move gracefully around tracks of tarmacadam.

Sweet sweet days will come again.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Highway lost. - Friday, January 25, 2002 at 16:37:33 (PST)

Lizzie life is void without the Shrrreeeewwwwwwooooaa of a racing engine going like a bat out of hell.

Oh bring back the halcyon days of trackside, the fever of the chase, the atticipacition of lights turning from red to green, the thrills and spills of wheel to wheel gladiators.

My pills, my pills now please, I'm feeling a little faint............
S wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Saafff. - Friday, January 25, 2002 at 11:58:15 (PST)

In the Midlands Woody?? I didn't think anyone else lived in this god-forsaken sector of the nation I loveably call 'home'. Save for the shrews and bats life is a void.

Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Babylon, fading... - Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 16:01:40 (PST)

The webmaster strikes again!

Hope you are having a great holiday Al :o) Roll on Brands.
Woody
Somewhere, Someplace in the Midlands ... - Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 13:18:13 (PST)

As you can see Webby it couldn't be me but now I know we can all sleep safely in our beds.
S Wah <There'ssomeonelookin'@ya-WaHa-WaHa>
Inside MI5 - Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 10:20:56 (PST)

I have no desire to meet phantoms, for they are merely misguided interpretations of reality.

However, if the real GAP were to ask, I would say yes.

Err, Webby, keep taking the medicine, dude.
Wouldn't you rather be on the side of good and have a really nice car than on the dark side and only own a white cat?
Nuff respec' for being the 'hub of all knowledge' tho. :)
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
I pressed her thigh and death smiled. - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 16:39:31 (PST)

Thanks Webby. Figured it was him. He's obviously in the grips of a (mid-life and or identity) crisis.

Nice detective work, ever think of becoming a private eye?
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Suspicions Confirmed - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 13:14:38 (PST)

The phantom GAP knows who they are, and the Webmaster Bloke has the powers to work it out too, for the 'Bloke' is the hub of all knowledge.

Yes, you. You who accesses the Internet from a UUNET/Pipex dial account using Windows NT and IE5.01, you've been rumbled!!!

Mwwwhhhaaahhahahaha... (The Webmaster Bloke returns to his huge bank of monitors, complete with white cat in a James Bond stylee)
The Webmaster Bloke <webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
Checking the records... - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 11:44:47 (PST)

Now thats comedy!

But I'm not the phantom, because I would never be so clever..

S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Rolling on the floor..... - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 11:00:02 (PST)

The phantom Girl About Paddock wannabe strikes again...
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Consulting my list of suspects - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 07:09:52 (PST)

Lizzie Luvvie, will you be at Brands BTCC meeting on 1st April. Would be nice to meet up?
Girl About Paddock
Traipsing through the fields, wondering if ... - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 05:20:14 (PST)

Dear Mr Wah

Gimme a break, will ya. I've been dead for over a hundred years and I may be a little rusty!

Yours
Prof H Hufflepuff

Helga Hufflepuff <hufflepuff@hogwarts.co.uk>
South Tower of Hogwarts Castle - Monday, January 21, 2002 at 10:07:09 (PST)

So I've come back from a weekend away to find out I'm nice, but soon to be deceased. Little bit worrying.

I am worried at the thought of children being used in Christmas songs - it always implies the imminent death of the nearest radio.

Jules - Moorland. Not good. Bleak. Cold. Windy. Find shelter.
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Floating in the Gulf Stream - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 12:59:03 (PST)

Dear Prof Higglty-Pigglty

Followed your instructions, am now residing on a bleak moorland wearing a 'Mouldy Sporran'. Are you a fully fledged wizard, just a practicing wizard or are you the bass player from Wizard and are you still wearing over the top make-up and still getting children to sing on your Christmas records?

WE SHOULD BE TOLD!
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Don't quite know! - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 02:26:22 (PST)

Enter your comments here...
Somebody Someone <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 01:27:25 (PST)

Dear Mr Wah

I am not a Medical Doctor but a Professor of Magic and so I have conjured a spell for you. Turn around three times and say "Motorum Sportis" very firmly and you will be magically transported to a place that has more motorsport than you can shake a stick at.

With kindest regards
Prof Hufflepuff

PS. Is Harry Potter taking over the world?

Helga Hufflepuff <hufflepuff@hogwarts.co.uk>
South Tower of Hogwarts Castle - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 00:32:16 (PST)

Doctor I need some motorsport in my life!
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 08:08:54 (PST)

Hey, I did say that it may be a case of mistaken identity because I'd only met her once! What happened to innocent until proven guilty?

Lizzie, you might be a nice chap but I am now a seriously bitter and twisted female ... I would kill you, Luvvie!

Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Very red faced and embarrassed ... - Friday, January 18, 2002 at 10:19:43 (PST)

Better than being a pig shunter. I say go for it. If luck is on your side, she may invite you to part her beef curtains and tuck into her bacon rashers with hot sushi and gravy centre. If not, then I suggest you get yourself down the local bindi centre for lager and a phal.
Anna Shacklady
- Friday, January 18, 2002 at 07:46:30 (PST)

Lizzie, you are a very nice chap. No question of that. (but I is not batty)...
Now, I have another problem ref the "what does a girl mean when she says..." scenario....
I have found out that the "maybe" is a yes with conditions. Fair enough.
But, the problem is to you still chase after the maybe when she is described by one of your best mates as a "Pig Scarer"? (Thanks Jules)
Answers on a postcard...or on a website...
MJ
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, January 18, 2002 at 04:14:13 (PST)

Glad I could help Jules - you obviously haven't met me tho yet. I'm nice.

Someone tell her I'm nice...

Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Barracuda's intestines. Still South Reef. - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 13:00:06 (PST)

I wish to state for the record that I will be using my real name from now on, as the pen name I have used on this site and others is a very scarce surname and the only family in the world to have the surname have kindly asked me to discontinue to use it. I also wish to state I have no links with the Bardwell-Dix family other than one of them has been a treasured customer of mine for many years.
I'm sorry for any trouble that my useage of the surname may have caused.

Stephen Waters
Stephen Waters <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 12:00:19 (PST)

kool
Karen James <Donkmel@hotmail.com>
Mids - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 11:09:14 (PST)

Thanks for your reassurance, Lizzie. I realise there are exceptions, eg:

My dad
My kid brother
My best mate (you know who you are!)

Any other exceptions I should have mentioned and more importantly, why can't I meet any NICE guys???
Claire Raynor <F@bird.com>
Agony Column - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 10:30:48 (PST)

I could show you my dad, would that help?
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Barracuda's Stomach. South Reef. - Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 15:29:49 (PST)

All men are b*s*a*d*, lovey. No? Prove me wrong then.
Claire Raynor <F@bird.com>
Agony Column - Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 10:21:01 (PST)

Thanks Zippy. Long time no post - where have you been?

I have the resolution to my "what do girls mean when they say yes/no/maybe"

The answer was "not right now - maybe ask me again in a couple of weeks and I might say yes then..."

MJ
Sir Matt James <somebody@somewhere.com>
Staring at the Sun - Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 06:41:00 (PST)

I love Sir Matt James. By that I mean I have love for him. Lots of love. But that's as far as it goes. Likewise, Mr Alan Hyde. Please add the characters 'Fay' and 'Precious Matthews' from Grange Hill in the mid 1980s to my list.
Zippy Monkeybuns <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 04:58:00 (PST)

You are all a bunch of F***ing tossers. Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just having a real pisser this morning.
Anna Shacklady
- Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 01:24:22 (PST)

I might well have seen you then GAP - I now have a distinct advantage over you, I'll be able to wander over to you and shout 'blah' in your ear and you won't have a clue who I am... :p

Famous people, me? I could get used to that life far too easy. As long as I didn't have to dress down for the occasion again.

They let you outside eventually then Matt? I thought you liked it there... ;)

Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Noddy noddy land - I can sleep soon!! :D - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 14:30:19 (PST)

Black jumper and denim jacket, blonde hair. Went by the stage name of Ms Press Officer...

Yes I do know actually Matt, we were there too, just before Simon's interview on the main stage. By that time though, there was only Mark Blundell lingering. Caterham VIP lounge had a much better class of people watching.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Monday, January 14, 2002 at 09:03:13 (PST)

Show. Hmmm.
Reasonably enjoyable but there was a lack of real BIG news around. Lots of little bits to see but nothing earth-shattering...
Wasn't on stage GAP. Hiding upstairs with all the famous people (you know - DC, Herbert, Blundell, Ian McKellar Jnr, Lizzie Luvvie, etc)...
Highlight of the show apart from leaving? The Team Dynamics girls, biking pole-dancer bint, chick with a EXTREMELY low cut top near the exhaust pipe place (phnarr, phnarr), the almost illegal girl on the Westfield stand, seeing Emma looking absolutely stunning with her new haircut, fondling Stretton (hardly a first, but always worthy of a mention) and getting pissed in the hotel bar on Saturday night.
Lager - enjoy yourself on holiday mate and you should post if you get a chance. Tell us all about the sun on Grand Canaria...
Matty James <matt.james@haynet.com>
Hiding in the Autosport enclosure... - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 07:25:30 (PST)

Sorry, GAP, not sure whether I saw that. Did you have a black jumper on by any chance? :s

Might have done...
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
Stil needing sleep... - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 06:05:14 (PST)

Ooh Lizzi Luvvie I might have seen you then! Did you see Enrique Bernoldi, Louise Goodman and Matt Neal doing the Wheel Change Challenge on the Caterham stand? We were on stage just after them...

Matt, were you doing question on the MN stand? The Blundell interiew was good. Not as good as DC though *sigh*
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Chilling backstage with the F1 posse... - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 03:58:51 (PST)

Three days of Autosport - fed up of it all now. Not as good as last year.

Met a load of old friends from last year and some new ones too (Nuff respec' going out to Matty James, ta for reliving the New Years incident for me!)

Any ideas on the best stand for eye candy (male/female)? Had to have been Comma/Team Dynamics for me, though there was good solid competition from the pole-dancing 'Superbikes' stand. Tho there was too much dancing, not enough use of the pole for my liking!! :(

So tired... 'Nother twenty hours and I get to sleep... :s
Lizzie Luvvie <darkforces@work.com>
In recovery. And I need a rest.... - Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 16:11:55 (PST)

Enter your comments here...
jodi hughes <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 11:27:56 (PST)

The world is lovely and everything will turn out brilliantly.
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Escaped from a P45 - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 10:20:10 (PST)

Hello, dahlings. Been away ages. GAP - wassup with you now? Add Jamie Oliver's wife to my list.
Anna Shacklady <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 04:32:19 (PST)

One day you think you get a good deal when you find the low-maintenance model of your dreams. It may be fine at the start, but sure as eggs are ommlets the costs get higher the longer you hold on to the chassis.

S Wah
Off to great days and easy lays... - Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 10:39:13 (PST)

Enter your comments here...glad i paid a visit very interesting
Michael Minter <paxcottage@waitrose.com>
Sundridge Kent - Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 09:44:37 (PST)

Sadly all the low-maintenance models I lust after are all taken, and ever increasingly married to other people.

Therefore I have come to the conclusion, that low maintenance models in the public domain are in actual fact, a myth.
The Legend of Truth
Looking through Exchange and Mart for 'low-maintenance' models - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 17:07:21 (PST)

You know, what guys need to do is to get a low maintenance model.

I can't be dealing with all this "You need to understand me...." balderdash.

There are low maintenance models available, at low average running costs. And don't be fooled by a respray - there may well be rust beneath.

Take a little time to look around - you won't be disappointed.
Lager
- Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 15:25:46 (PST)

If no is no and no is yes does yes mean no or no mean yes?

Or is it NO! means no, no? means yes. YES! means find a room or quite scenic view. or yes? 'you carry on and i'll count the stripes on the wallpaper until you've finished!'
S Wah <somebody@somewhere.com>
Looking at Benny Hill 'Light up the Town'! - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 12:40:34 (PST)

Thank you web master, that would be nice.

Pent up anger? Me? I'm the sweetest person I know. Ask anyone. Oh, except that bloke who ended up wearing his pint...

PS: Like your style Jules!
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 12:39:26 (PST)

I neglected to add to the end of the "maybe" translation:

"... and then I'll think about it but you have to do some heavy persuasion!"

Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Still in my consulting rooms - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 11:46:17 (PST)

Okay, Bloke, here's the translation:

If a girl says no, she means no
If a girl says yes, she means yes but it will cost you
If a girl says maybe, she means buy me jewellery, chocolates, flowers, take me to see a show and book a room at the Ritz

Comprendez?

Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
In my consulting rooms - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 11:44:59 (PST)

GAP, if you want the comment removing, I can oblige if you like.

Let me know, either on or off-list.
The Webmaster Bloke <webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
Moderating my language, in my moderate dream world... - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 08:35:19 (PST)

GAP - I am detecting a hint of pent-up anger here....
Matt James <stunned@theresponse>
On the outskirts of reality - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 07:01:43 (PST)

Gap - you know I'm here if you're that desperate (and you would have to be...) ;)

Mr James - it's like when you watch Good Morning and they're discussing decorations and upholstery, you don't understand what they're on about, but you keep watching. Don't even attempt to understand!!
Lizzie Luvvie <deepdarkforces@work.com>
At a similar viewing position to Mr James - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 06:01:25 (PST)

"maybe you'll be wearing that pint if you don't take the hint" is probably a good translation...
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
- Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 06:00:37 (PST)

Right, some of the females who visit this site might be able to help me here.
If a girl says "no" she means "yes"
If a girl says "yes" she means "yes"
But what if a girl says "maybe"...
Mr James <wating@theddentists>
On the outside, looking in - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 05:02:51 (PST)

I so didn't post that.

ANNA YOU ARE IN TROUBLE.
GAP <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 03:31:16 (PST)

who is the girl with alex yoong at the gp

arianna t <somebody@hotmail.com>
k.l.,malaysia - Monday, January 07, 2002 at 17:14:27 (PST)

Stumbled upon this by accident and wondered about David Bardwell-Dix. T'was my own maiden name and I have never met any others (outside immediate family ofcourse).
Beverley <b.clithero@exchange.curtin.edu.au>
- Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 20:32:27 (PST)

Poor, poor Mattie.

We bleed for him. And so did his beak, by all accounts.

Happy New Year all!
Lager
- Friday, January 04, 2002 at 08:26:40 (PST)

Christmas. Illness. Staying in. TV. Football. Feeling Better. Drinking. Down the Indian. Pissed. New Year. Party. Girls! Drunk. New Year's Day. Illness. Get pissed again. Fall over. Smash Window of Pub. Smash Nose Against Window of Pub. Hurt Nose. Embarrassed. Do a Runner. Let Yourself Down in Front Of Girl Youve Pulled. Hide. Never Go Out Again. Bring Back The Racing Cars....
Matt James <matt.james@haynet.com>
under the moon of love - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 02:50:36 (PST)

Happy new Year. And mine was particularly joyous for the latest Nicoret telly ad boasts an absolute stunner in nightwear doing hi-karate. she could come and stub her fags out on me any time. add her to my list now.
Anna Shacklady
lighting up my rears - Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 04:57:13 (PST)

Enter your comments here...
Jules Wah <F@bird.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 09:51:32 (PST)

I know! Happy New Year everybody, sadly the server thinks it's in sunny California - therefore it thinks it's Pacific Standard Time (and is 5 hours away from celebrating its new year!)

Methinks California will be seeing in the new year in somewhat warmer temperatures than the -5.0°c that we've braving in deepest, darkest Cheshire tonight!
The Webmaster Bloke <webmaster@alanhydefanzone.co.uk>
At home, after a night on the tiles... - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 18:42:40 (PST)

Your clocks wrong!!!
Stephen Waters <somebody@somewhere.com>
Somewhere, Someplace... - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 15:45:11 (PST)

Happy New Year everyone, may all your shunts be small ones!
Stephen Waters
Single malt in hand ready to be downed!!! - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 15:43:39 (PST)

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